Discussion Putting it off

[Mist]

What keeps you from ctb? It could be family, pets, a new game coming out, anything really.
Personally my main reason is my boyfriend. He can't drive so if I'm gone he has no transportation. Even if he does learn I would be using my car to ctb so that wouldn't be accessible to him. On top of that he moved states to live with me and has almost entirely payed for rent. I just don't think I could leave him and not ruin his life.

 

[Penguinbee]

At the minute it's my dog, she's nearly 4 months old now and I'm her favourite person. I have a bearded dragon but she hates everyone and everything (she's a good girl though) so she'd be fine and my fish would be fine too. I know my family should be holding me back but I kind of eliminated them as factors years ago if that makes sense? I first tried in 2017; I made my peace with leaving them back then and although I love and care about them very much it's never really ignited again

 

[itsbigbraintime]

I guess a very small part of me hopes things will magically get better. There's of course people I'll miss, things I'll miss doing. But overall, things just keep drifting towards my eventual ctb. I've no interest in living in the current society I'm in.

 

[Yomyom]

My brother is in Officers Course in the army, if I do it now, he probably will stop, and I don't want that, he is doing so well, I'll wait until the course end, about A month and a half

 

[Lostnotfound]

I guess a very small part of me hopes things will magically get better. There's of course people I'll miss, things I'll miss doing. But overall, things just keep drifting towards my eventual ctb. I've no interest in living in the current society I'm in.

I keep hoping for that too but hope is dwindling fast

 

[Somebodylied]

Previous attempts being unsuccessful, has caused a hesitancy in me.

 

[Dunwitlife]

Scared that I will fail this attempt as I have failed with other ones. I feel like if I fail again then I will have to make a more drastic, scary and painful one. But then what if that doesn't work too? Just so much anxiety about another possible failure. Living is just not an option for me.

 

[flower]

Aside from the fear of failing, honestly I want to play the new animal crossing game and see one of my favourite bands again before I go

 

[Jean4]

1. I was told by my partner who CTB that it wasn't my time and I shouldn't follow him.
2. My cats.
3. I am not permitted to leave this forum... ever..

 

[Largeletters]

My kind of girlfriend. She says she feels I'm the only person who cares about her. I'd be afraid that she would CTB if I did. Plus I'm afraid about family, too.

 

[Pol]

my wife. she has thanatophobia.
how ironic.

 

[BPD Barbie]

I am in recovery and have come pretty far. Even started looking for work again. This is my last try and recovering though and if it doesn't work out for whatever reason, I will CTB. What do I live for? Right now for myself, to prove myself wrong, to prove to myself that I am capable and strong. And also because @Jean4 won't have it any other way lol.

 

[Jean4]

I am in recovery and have come pretty far. Even started looking for work again. This is my last try and recovering though and if it doesn't work out for whatever reason, I will CTB. What do I live for? Right now for myself, to prove myself wrong, to prove to myself that I am capable and strong. And also because @Jean4 won't have it any other way lol.

I was paged.... and I'm waiting for you to get back to work when you are ready. ;)

 

[highlyvolatile]

Maybe animal crossing. But my ex has the switch. A small, tiny miniscule extremely minute part of me hopes that something really good will happen.Thats it. Other than that, I'm ready for the bus.

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

Honestly I don't know what is the main reason.
I still cling to the past when I was feeling better and have tiny teeny hope that I will be able to feel ok again.
I don't want to do that to people who close to me, my ex is suicidal too and it definitely will trigger her.
And I am afraid to die because it's so final.

 

[drivingaround]

I keep putting it off because it will ruin Christmas/new year/this friend's birthday/my friend's vacation here/etc. I know for other people it would ruin something anyway.
Other reasons are guilt for hurting my parents, fear of failing and the consequences, fear of the unknown after death, and also some faint hope that maybe things will turn around. Like maybe humans will start getting superpowers and life will stop being so boring.

 

[SimplyTopHat]

At the minute it's my dog, she's nearly 4 months old now and I'm her favourite person. I have a bearded dragon but she hates everyone and everything (she's a good girl though) so she'd be fine and my fish would be fine too. I know my family should be holding me back but I kind of eliminated them as factors years ago if that makes sense? I first tried in 2017; I made my peace with leaving them back then and although I love and care about them very much it's never really ignited again

I didn't know other people felt this way too. It makes me want to cry knowing that you too can't reignite that flame. :(

Does everything feel like going through the motions for you too?