PTSD recovery. CBD, ketamine, emdr, etc. any good treatments?

[Foresight]

I have a major issue with trying to treat my PTSD. There are 2 options available to me for treatment at this moment: clonidine and cbd.

The problem with clonidine is it makes me feel feeble. I feel like an 80 year old on it. I'm barely able to lift my arms. It just weakens me to the point where I do an 8 hour shift at work and I'm done. I have little quality of life. I'm on the lowest dose and I started cutting it in half and then into a fourth. The fourth I use for emergency days, but it still lays me out.

Next I got CBD. High quality, 25-50mg a day. Pretty low dose again, but I feel foggy. It's making me experience depersonalization/derealization. I just feel a fog around me. I can't read as well or think as quickly.

Anxiety is lowered on both. I guess I'm frustrated that no matter what my quality of life is always going to be altered right now. The ptsd or the treatment will always leave me limited. I'm going to choose the cbd fog over the panic though because the PTSD is going to kill me. I'm either going to have a psychological break or cardiac arrest.

Do you have any anti-anxiety methods or treatments you feel improve your quality of life? Other treatments I'm currently doing are more sunlight exposure and yoga. I'm thinking I need something more heavy duty at this point like ketamine sessions or EMDR. I need more time to process everything that has happened to me but I think I'll look into that for next year. Part of my ptsd is terror of having strangers near me, so in office treatments in itself is exposure therapy for me. I need to level it a bit before even doing that. I have been kicked to death psychologically.

 

[eliza23]

I can't say I understand what your going through, and I'm sorry your suffering so. I am suffering from PTSD as well been having more attacks than ever before. I'm a very depressed and suicidal girl but I tend to be optimistic without knowing it. I just keep my hope no matter how small it may be, I have this feeling and hope that life will work out and I'll be fine. I just need to wait I need to give myself time so that's what I'm doing, I'm waiting and I just know I'll be fine one day. I sound super stupid maybe even to optimistic but I've been through hell and back and I just know I'll make it through. I can't say much about cbd or that other stuff you were taking because I've taken nothing to deal with my PTSD or depression I just try my hardest to get through the day. I worry about the next day when that day has come is all I do, and I always make it through my days that way. I'm not sure how to help you but I figure if youve read any of my threads you might understand me. Most people have wondered and asked me how I make it through life at 18 with the life I've lived, but I just keep my hope not faith but hope that I'll be fine and I'll make it through. That's all I use to help me make it through to the next day I also love other people and I love helping when and where I can. I love helping whether I'm sick not feeling well or hungry and haven't eaten inan while I love helping. I sometimes even help the ones who've hurt me the most simply cuz they need it and no one else wants to help them. Sure I can say I hate someone I can say I resent someone I can even say I'll kill someone, but see that's the thing I don't think I could ever do it even if I tried. I hate to hurt others no matter how much they've hurt me because I don't wanna become like them I'd rather stay who I am my own person the one I love. I'd rather stay myself seen as weak, as nobody, as dead, as a disappointment I could care less as long as I love myself and I don't lose myself I'm happy. Trauma, nightmares, night terrors, even more bad things could happen to me I'll accept it get through it and continue on with my life. Because I don't just feel it I know there's something better for me in the future that's yet to come.

Sorry I've written so much it's probably not even the littlest bit helpful. But take care okay, I know you can do it so just try.

 

[paleperson]

EMDR short term can make you a million times worse. Long term it can really relax specific flashbacks/memories. So it definitely can help if you have it in you. I don't. I tried multiple sessions of emdr with my therapists and couldn't handle the temporary increased activation of my symptoms. I used edibles and diphenhydramine to cope with the symptoms but in my experience I simply built a tolerance for both and the moment I stop my symptoms ramped up again.

 

[Hollowillow]

I have a major issue with trying to treat my PTSD. There are 2 options available to me for treatment at this moment: clonidine and cbd.

The problem with clonidine is it makes me feel feeble. I feel like an 80 year old on it. I'm barely able to lift my arms. It just weakens me to the point where I do an 8 hour shift at work and I'm done. I have little quality of life. I'm on the lowest dose and I started cutting it in half and then into a fourth. The fourth I use for emergency days, but it still lays me out.

Next I got CBD. High quality, 25-50mg a day. Pretty low dose again, but I feel foggy. It's making me experience depersonalization/derealization. I just feel a fog around me. I can't read as well or think as quickly.

Anxiety is lowered on both. I guess I'm frustrated that no matter what my quality of life is always going to be altered right now. The ptsd or the treatment will always leave me limited. I'm going to choose the cbd fog over the panic though because the PTSD is going to kill me. I'm either going to have a psychological break or cardiac arrest.

Do you have any anti-anxiety methods or treatments you feel improve your quality of life? Other treatments I'm currently doing are more sunlight exposure and yoga. I'm thinking I need something more heavy duty at this point like ketamine sessions or EMDR. I need more time to process everything that has happened to me but I think I'll look into that for next year. Part of my ptsd is terror of having strangers near me, so in office treatments in itself is exposure therapy for me. I need to level it a bit before even doing that. I have been kicked to death psychologically.

After reading about adrenal fatigue, i no longer believe the psychiatric explanation if anxiety.

The adrenals free reserves of fuel with adrenalin to give superpowers to your SI. temporarily or you burn out.

Adrenalin is made with vitamin c (i took 25 gram today after a severe trauma instead if 4) vitamin b, magnesium (very calming)

Not wanting strangers near you is a boundary. Express it without shame & enforce it.

What helped my trauma the most is to buy weapons & give my SI the right to murder.

I haven't fought back yet... But I hope I will.

People are fucking jerks. Once you're ok with murder, saying no & expressing boundaries don't seem so mean & impossible.

No need for actual murder most of the time. Just to look with the intent & abusers flee fast most of the time.

Give yourself permission to be.

The flashbacks are the SI rehearshing how it can save you next time. Daydream about axes. I killed the bitch bullying me mentally in a daydream. She never haunted my sleep again.

I bought a real axe. Very empowering. It's a mental key. To unlock the conviction that you're not helpless.

Tell strangers to respect your personal space. People get groped at work. You're not mental, you're right!

Be rude. People will literally not stop until they're scared to get their junk bitten off.

I think you're a super kind person. But let your SI protect you. I thought it was a split personality of me... But some people deserve our best, others our worst... Most in between.

Maybe buy an axe and cut wood screaming. I wish we could do it together.

Unleash the SI.

(You can still kill it later)