anaokino_
internal wizard
- Oct 19, 2024
- 7
I got traumatised as a child because of my father. It was a sort of emotional abuse and even though he is long gone and i don't have to confront myself with him anymore, my brain does not get that. It does not get that it was him or that it wasn't actually that bad. Every time a authority raises their voice at me (which happens fairly often when you're not a straight a student) i start crying like an idiot and it feels like i'm dying on the spot which would me much more preferable but i'm not. I also got to the glorious realisation that it's not my fault that i have ptsd but i'm the end i'm the done who has to deal with that shit and honestly i'm sick of it. Because why the hell are so many therapists so fucking shitty. I've been trying a lot of therapists and either they'd look down on me or not take me seriously or just wanting to put me in a psych ward. Even when i was a teenager i've been to therapists who wouldn't listen at least not to me. Honestly i don't want to deal with all that anymore and i'm just tired because of my pathetic brain.
