Psychosis

[justagreenleaf]

Has anybody else experience psychosis/psychotic mania?
It has ruined my life and partially why I want to commit suicide.

I see no hope for recovery after that. For most people hearing the word "psychosis" involves a week of thinking you're the reincarnation of Jesus or something—not the harrowing trauma, intrusive thoughts, physical symptoms, feeling of worthlessness and pit of depression that follows. I wish I were gone already...

 

[Anxieyote]

I've been experiencing it more recently. I have gone on Reddit and on here sometimes during delusional episodes, and posted my thoughts. I try to avoid it most of the time, because people often don't know how to respond.

If it gets really bad, I pop into DM's of a few people I trust and let the episode play out until I pass out from exhaustion. Although I still feel guilty in those instances, because I'm not expressing thoughts that can be easily engaged with or understood.

 

[justagreenleaf]

I've been experiencing it more recently. I have gone on Reddit and on here sometimes during delusional episodes, and posted my thoughts. I try to avoid it most of the time, because people often don't know how to respond.

If it gets really bad, I pop into DM's of a few people I trust and let the episode play out until I pass out from exhaustion. Although I still feel guilty in those instances, because I'm not expressing thoughts that can be easily engaged with or understood.

Ahhh AS, I'm so sorry. I *really* feel and empathize with you. You're always free to reach out.
I thought in a way that I was "lucky" because my psychosis was like "the dream of my life" coming true. Yet the pain of realizing it was all inside your head and that nobody truly loves you/you're not married with children, etc. all the while, embarassing yourself at the psych ward makes it equally awful as having scary or anxious delusions. I'm suspected BP1 by the way.

 

[Anxieyote]

Ahhh AS, I'm so sorry. I *really* feel and empathize with you. You're always free to reach out.
I thought in a way that I was "lucky" because my psychosis was like "the dream of my life" coming true. Yet the pain of realizing it was all inside your head and that nobody truly loves you/you're not married with children, etc. all the while, embarassing yourself at the psych ward makes it equally awful as having scary or anxious delusions. I'm suspected BP1 by the way.

Thank you for the offer, I am always glad to have more connections with people who suffer from psychosis/delusional episodes. It is still a fairly recent development in my life, and I feel like other people might have it worse (my episodes usually last for a few hours, but I have heard of episodes lasting for days or weeks from accounts of others).

I have been to the psych ward as well, but not while I was experiencing delusions. I admitted myself because my suicidal ideation was really high, and I wasn't mentally prepared to die yet.

 

[BipolarExpress]

Ahhh AS, I'm so sorry. I *really* feel and empathize with you. You're always free to reach out.
I thought in a way that I was "lucky" because my psychosis was like "the dream of my life" coming true. Yet the pain of realizing it was all inside your head and that nobody truly loves you/you're not married with children, etc. all the while, embarassing yourself at the psych ward makes it equally awful as having scary or anxious delusions. I'm suspected BP1 by the way.

I know this is an old thread, but I still wanted to respond, since I can identify with so much of what's been said. I had a severe manic episode earlier that included grandiose and paranoid delusions. Five months after being discharged from the psych ward, I'm still dealing with the pain of realising all my psychotic thoughts were in my head, that I don't have the powers I thought I had, that I couldn't alter the course of history on my own, that I wasn't God's agent on Earth (or even God himself, which I thought for a few hours). The comedown after the episode is part of why I'm suicidal.

 

[ChangeWaiter]

I know this is an old thread, but I still wanted to respond, since I can identify with so much of what's been said. I had a severe manic episode earlier that included grandiose and paranoid delusions. Five months after being discharged from the psych ward, I'm still dealing with the pain of realising all my psychotic thoughts were in my head, that I don't have the powers I thought I had, that I couldn't alter the course of history on my own, that I wasn't God's agent on Earth (or even God himself, which I thought for a few hours). The comedown after the episode is part of why I'm suicidal.

Relatable!

My psychosis lasted for almost a year where I felt to be constantly contacted and controlled by other forces, then realizing to be on a mission as Gods agent, then being God himself. Reality and people played along incredibly well and I'm still even don't see the world "normal", since I wasn't taking medications this time. I'm still in this other dimension, except that in this 3rd dimension my body is realizing all my previous life is ruined, wakes up in depression, still feels like being controlled and researches CTB.

I think that anyone who experienced a long lasting psychosis will be hard to convince, that none of that is real, it becomes and internal part of one's perception of reality.