Venting Psychological pain (BPD)

[mafuyu]

I'm so mentally stable anyways have you ever read the wiki page on psychological pain? Have you noticed there's only ONE MENTAL DISORDER THERE? Borderline personality disorder. Why couldn't I have any other bullshit? Or hell, maybe some physical disease like cancer that's trying to kill me. Instead I have to suffer inside my own head and have everyone gawk at me like I'm some insane freak alien.

There is no normal. I wish I was fucking normal. And because it's mental, nobody cares! When I was in the hospital a couple of weeks ago something happened and I cried for almost an hour because it felt like my world was genuinely ending. I can't describe it. It's being an emotional burn victim.

Oh, and not to mention, everyone hates us! Go check out bpdlovedones if you haven't yet! They really are so so kind. (DONT if you have BPD and are affected easily by negative shit.) I'm being sarcastic of course but to most people we are just human stains.

If you have a doctor or a therapist and you tell them you have it, they won't ever look at you like they would a normal person. Your friends will leave you, your girlfriend or boyfriend will leave you. Shit your marital spouse might leave you. Nobody wants to deal with us, not even when we've come far in a healing journey.

One day I'll let this stupid fucking disease kill me. It might as well be terminal, but without the fucking sympathy.

Fuck this shit.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds really horrible what you have to endure, it's cruel how people suffer so much. But anyway best wishes.

 

[blitz]

Sorry about your struggles. I wish i had the words to help but please know you aren't alone. People seem to forget that BPD is caused by trauma and neglect,we never asked to feel and think the way we do.

I visit BPDlovedones daily as a form of torture. I know it's not healthy but I use it to reinforce my decision of not letting anyone in my life.

I see it as terminal aswell. I dont belive the stories of people not fitting the criteria anymore. They were probably misdiagnosed in the first place or are lying to their therapist.

 

[SaltySuh]

I have Paranoid PD, but I nonetheless send you my kind regards @mafuyu

 

[unloveable.]

This sounds really awful. I can't imagine what this must feel like. People really can't tolerate people who are struggling the most. I hope that one day you may find your deserved peace

 

[soonatpeace777888]

OCD and PTSD also causes significant Psychological pain. Its horrible. Mental illness is the number one cause of suicide for a reason.

 

[mafuyu]

People seem to forget that BPD is caused by trauma and neglect,we never asked to feel and think the way we do.

THIS. I'm like damn, I'm only fucked up in the first place bc of life events! They wanna kick you while your down.

I see it as terminal aswell. I dont belive the stories of people not fitting the criteria anymore. They were probably misdiagnosed in the first place or are lying to their therapist.

Mhm. Have I gotten better? For sure. But it's a personality disorder, I can't cure it or escape it. It's me.

Sigh. Maybe you're right about reading that sub, I've had some awful luck with "friends" this year.

OCD and PTSD also causes significant Psychological pain. Its horrible. Mental illness is the number one cause of suicide for a reason.

Yeah. It truly is the only way out. It's treatable, but can never be cured. And unlike physical illness, nobody sees it so they don't care. That is until you're going crazy at like 2am lol. Then they just push you away.