Venting Psychiatrist was so harsh!

[Lara Francis]

I had an app with my psychiatrist a few days ago.
Even though it was a scheduled app it had been brought forward at the request of my cpn so i was alittle nervous and unprepared.
The app did not go as well as i had hoped and became a conflict of views.
I guess we all become acustomed to saying what we believe we want them to hear but he asked me everything and the prepared conversation and responsives did not convince him.
He is obviously getting to know me better or i am getting crap at hiding shit.!
He was so harsh and when i told my friend what he had said she agreed which pissed me off even more !
Hence,that night,i drank until passing out.I left the app thinking f him and everyone in my life - the only people that understand are your goodselves.
He believes that i am in denial about my recovery and is concerned how i have normallized suicide as a back up plan.
He wanted to know any plans or means i had.i refused to say!
He said that humans are programmed to survive and most people cope even in the most difficult circumstances.
I told him that ,the vast majority of suicidal people dont want to end their lives but just want the pain to go away and see suicide as the only option left.
Professionals do not grasp how painful it is to have your son riped away from u having also lost my husband.
My friend is also of the opinion that i am just feeling sorry for myself !
I feel that my life has been a train wreck in the last 3 years and i am truely scared.
I have been expierencing derealization episodes due to such emotional strains.They are very frustrating but i hope they will pass.my friend says i am attention seeking.I told the shrink that when my boy is returned,my thoughts will go but he disagreed and said i had them when he was in my care and he could appreciate social services stance on this situation.
I feel ruined and misunderstood.
Why can people not see that my mental heath is compromised because my son and i are apart and i have moved on from the death of my husband and therefore able to parent my son.

I need to b given a chance ,i am a good mum and person.
I hope this chance is given to me as it is also interconnected with the last chance i give life!
Thanku for allowing me to vent.

 

[Misanthrope]

Do you have an Advocate Lara outside of the mental health services umbrella?

 

[SinisterKid]

Live with something long enough and it becomes normalised. That a pseudo science believes it has all the answers is somewhat of a joke to me. So I dont really put much faith in anything they have to say. The people I did group therapy with had a far better understanding of my issues than anyone else, same with here, people relate.

You have had a hell of a time of it that would break most people. What are you supposed to do with that? You are trying to live, but then someone talking pseudo bullshit tells you you are not really coping at all. You scream and shout because you are not coping, you get locked up. We really cant win it would seem.

Sorry it did not go well Lara. Maybe its time to get others involved as Misanthrope suggests. Advocates are worth looking into.

 

[Lara Francis]

Do you have an Advocate Lara outside of the mental health services umbrella?

No.i just have a mental health nurse who I see weekly
I totally agree @SinisterKid .
Thanku both x

 

[CynicalHopelessness]

I'm sorry to hear about this terrible experience you had. Psychiatrists can be as terrible as any other people, I would suggest you look into trying to find one who is empathetic and will try to be there for you and support you in keeping suicide as backup indefinitely, instead of being judgmental about how you cope. I hope there will be a chance for you to make your life better

 

[Misanthrope]

You can go about getting an advocate for yourself a few ways. You could use this website to look up your local Mind and see if they have advocates available.

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/

Sadly it is a bit of lottery these days on what is available in your area. Regardless if they can't help you in that way they likely know what is in your area that could be of benefit or do a similar job.

There is also Rethink. They have their own directory and helpline that may be able to get you in touch with what you need to better navigate these disempowering systems.

Help in your area

No matter how bad things are, we can help people severely affected by mental illness to improve their lives. As experts in severe mental health, we support people to stay safe and well in their community , wherever possible.

www.rethink.org

There is also. https://www.pohwer.net/Pages/Category/our-services and https://www.voiceability.org/ Again though bit of a lottery what can be provided, dependent on where you are based.

There is also citizens advice who may also know what is in your area. https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/ But they are so run down access is limited. God forbid anyone knows what their rights are in this shit hole country.

I would recommend also getting yourself a personal voice recorder and use it when encountering professionals. Just tell them your memory can be a bit bad and you don't want to miss anything important. The people who don't want scrutiny are the people who want to cut corners at your expense.

If you do not have a good rapport with your psychiatrist you can get another one. But that can be a bit of a fight. Because for some reason they seem to take this a bit personally and are in a position to deny you on the basis of mental health... These sorts of shenanigans happen more frequently if you don't have an advocate.

Lastly, don't let your friends tactlessness get to you. From the moment we cry for milk we are attention seekers. Your friend is one too. They would be more of one if I set their house on fire with everything they value within it. They would then be a vocal attention seeker, lamenting such psychos exist and being upset at the loss of what they had that may well be irreplaceable. Because loss hurts and makes us all vocal about that loss. That is actually normal, and you are probably not drugging a kid to feign cancer symptoms. Instead, it sounds like you have lost your husband and are being denied your son. Maybe you warrant greater attention then! Hopefully, an advocate of some sort can better convey that want and you may well wind up feeling heard for a change. I can only hope so.

I wish you all the best amidst these broken systems.

Peace.

 

[azucaramargo]

I had an app with my psychiatrist a few days ago.
Even though it was a scheduled app it had been brought forward at the request of my cpn so i was alittle nervous and unprepared.
The app did not go as well as i had hoped and became a conflict of views.
I guess we all become acustomed to saying what we believe we want them to hear but he asked me everything and the prepared conversation and responsives did not convince him.
He is obviously getting to know me better or i am getting crap at hiding shit.!
He was so harsh and when i told my friend what he had said she agreed which pissed me off even more !
Hence,that night,i drank until passing out.I left the app thinking f him and everyone in my life - the only people that understand are your goodselves.
He believes that i am in denial about my recovery and is concerned how i have normallized suicide as a back up plan.
He wanted to know any plans or means i had.i refused to say!
He said that humans are programmed to survive and most people cope even in the most difficult circumstances.
I told him that ,the vast majority of suicidal people dont want to end their lives but just want the pain to go away and see suicide as the only option left.
Professionals do not grasp how painful it is to have your son riped away from u having also lost my husband.
My friend is also of the opinion that i am just feeling sorry for myself !
I feel that my life has been a train wreck in the last 3 years and i am truely scared.
I have been expierencing derealization episodes due to such emotional strains.They are very frustrating but i hope they will pass.my friend says i am attention seeking.I told the shrink that when my boy is returned,my thoughts will go but he disagreed and said i had them when he was in my care and he could appreciate social services stance on this situation.
I feel ruined and misunderstood.
Why can people not see that my mental heath is compromised because my son and i are apart and i have moved on from the death of my husband and therefore able to parent my son.

I need to b given a chance ,i am a good mum and person.
I hope this chance is given to me as it is also interconnected with the last chance i give life!
Thanku for allowing me to vent.

You ARE a GRRRRRRRRREAT mum, LF!!! What's a cpn, btw?

 

[Misanthrope]

CPN means Community Psychiatric Nurse.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Sorry to hear how it went Lara. I can see how you feel having your son back will be the best therapy. You would hope they would be working towards this.
My psych is adamant that all my problems are caused by mental health, largely stemming from grief from my dear mum's death several years ago. I've tried to tell him that I grieved and dealt with it in an emotionally healthy way. I've tried to make him see that my psych issues have occurred as my health has utterly collapsed. But no, there seems to be a prejudice that sees mental health as a universal cause rather than a result of trauma.
If only it was that simple, but they often just don't want to listen.
@Misanthrope your advice is good, I've bookmarked it myself.
I hope you can make them understand Lara.

 

[Quarky00]

He said that humans are programmed to survive and most people cope

Cold, cruel and callous. I wouldn't even bother.

Those are inhumane responses to a person suffering, bordering on abuse. Same for friend.

I feel that you are not misunderstood but misrepresented. These are not 'honest mistakes' but confrontational intentional misrepresentation of how you feel.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Cold, cruel and callous. I wouldn't even bother.

Those are inhumane responses to a person suffering, bordering on abuse. Same for friend.

I feel that you are not misunderstood but misrepresented. These are not 'honest mistakes' but confrontational intentional misrepresentation of how you feel.

Ha yeah that railed with me too. Saying that most people just cope to someone who is seeing you because they aren't coping...

 

[k75]

Im sorry, I just wanted to clarify something I found to be confusing. Do psychiatrists usually do therapy in the UK?

 

[Misanthrope]

Im sorry, I just wanted to clarify something I found to be confusing. Do psychiatrists usually do therapy in the UK?

No, but they are the gatekeepers to accessing those therapies if you don't want to pay for it.

 

[k75]

No, but they are the gatekeepers to accessing those therapies if you don't want to pay for it.

Ah, ok. Thanks. Here all they usually do is prescribe your meds so it was a little confusing.

 

[Quarky00]

A psychiatrist explained to me they consider themselves doctors. They treat it like a rash: "put X on it and come back in a month". You either have Y or you don't. Not much more to it.

Mental issues are more serious and complex than a rash, but that's the medicinal way they approach things. The metaphor was not disrespectful but an attempt to explain in simple terms. He was very nice and honest. :)

This is where "humans are programmed to survive" came from – everything is perceived mechanically. They're not there to understand. Some might be very empathic & helpful ..

 

[Funkbunny]

The fundamentals of psychiatry apply before you have even walked through the door in my opinion. That is, the patient is broken and can be fixed by applying x y or z theory to them, with or without medication.

There is no such thing as a 'therapeutic relationship'. Psychiatry is not about listening nor hearing. It's about diagnosing and applying theory.

 

[Lara Francis]

You can go about getting an advocate for yourself a few ways. You could use this website to look up your local Mind and see if they have advocates available.

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/

Sadly it is a bit of lottery these days on what is available in your area. Regardless if they can't help you in that way they likely know what is in your area that could be of benefit or do a similar job.

There is also Rethink. They have their own directory and helpline that may be able to get you in touch with what you need to better navigate these disempowering systems.

Help in your area

No matter how bad things are, we can help people severely affected by mental illness to improve their lives. As experts in severe mental health, we support people to stay safe and well in their community , wherever possible.

www.rethink.org

There is also. https://www.pohwer.net/Pages/Category/our-services and https://www.voiceability.org/ Again though bit of a lottery what can be provided, dependent on where you are based.

There is also citizens advice who may also know what is in your area. https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/ But they are so run down access is limited. God forbid anyone knows what their rights are in this shit hole country.

I would recommend also getting yourself a personal voice recorder and use it when encountering professionals. Just tell them your memory can be a bit bad and you don't want to miss anything important. The people who don't want scrutiny are the people who want to cut corners at your expense.

If you do not have a good rapport with your psychiatrist you can get another one. But that can be a bit of a fight. Because for some reason they seem to take this a bit personally and are in a position to deny you on the basis of mental health... These sorts of shenanigans happen more frequently if you don't have an advocate.

Lastly, don't let your friends tactlessness get to you. From the moment we cry for milk we are attention seekers. Your friend is one too. They would be more of one if I set their house on fire with everything they value within it. They would then be a vocal attention seeker, lamenting such psychos exist and being upset at the loss of what they had that may well be irreplaceable. Because loss hurts and makes us all vocal about that loss. That is actually normal, and you are probably not drugging a kid to feign cancer symptoms. Instead, it sounds like you have lost your husband and are being denied your son. Maybe you warrant greater attention then! Hopefully, an advocate of some sort can better convey that want and you may well wind up feeling heard for a change. I can only hope so.

I wish you all the best amidst these broken systems.

Peace.

Thanku so much @Misanthrope ,i will follow those things up.your advice and understanding is greatly appreciated.
Hugs and peace to u also x

Cold, cruel and callous. I wouldn't even bother.

Those are inhumane responses to a person suffering, bordering on abuse. Same for friend.

I feel that you are not misunderstood but misrepresented. These are not 'honest mistakes' but confrontational intentional misrepresentation of how you feel.

Very true !

Sorry to hear how it went Lara. I can see how you feel having your son back will be the best therapy. You would hope they would be working towards this.
My psych is adamant that all my problems are caused by mental health, largely stemming from grief from my dear mum's death several years ago. I've tried to tell him that I grieved and dealt with it in an emotionally healthy way. I've tried to make him see that my psych issues have occurred as my health has utterly collapsed. But no, there seems to be a prejudice that sees mental health as a universal cause rather than a result of trauma.
If only it was that simple, but they often just don't want to listen.
@Misanthrope your advice is good, I've bookmarked it myself.
I hope you can make them understand Lara.

I hope i can make them understand soon.
I am very sorry to hear about the loss of your mum x