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Fadingfast

Come in peace, go in peace
May 9, 2019
106
I've been suicidal for over a month. I suffered severe psychosis from Nov. 2018 until the end of Feb. 2019. I've suffered bouts of psychosis before but this was by far the most intense. I have schizoeffective bipolar type and yesterday my psychiatrist said," you'll be able to function as well as can be expected." Wtf is that supposed to mean??? I'll continue to be at a disadvantage for the rest of my fucking life??? He upped my meds by double and it just feels like he's keeping me sedated so I don't ctb. Sorry, just ranting. Don't know what seeing a psychiayrist is suppose to achieve but if I don't go I suffer the withdrawl of antipsychotics. I'm "stuck at a cross road" and I'm freaking out. I started drinking and it numbs me some what but only for a few hours.
 
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GeorgeJL

GeorgeJL

Enlightened
Mar 7, 2019
1,621
Hi Fadingfast, I have benefited greatly from medications, and psychiatric medications. If it wasn't for them I would have been dead a long time ago. The best medicine I have is an antipsychotic. Not that I am psychotic, but that I use it for off label uses. It's my best sleeping medicine, best medicine for my tinnitus, best for my nerves. So that is my experience. Granted not everyone is helped by medications. But if you really feel like it's doing nothing then try another class of medications. Or heck tapper off medications all together and try some psychedelics as a last resort. But whatever you do you should give life and the options we have a good try before you end it.
 
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F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,348
I would say no, whatever benefit there was is short lived. I had decided to give up all medications and yes I'm depressed but I'd still rather be unmedicated because I don't have to worry about pills. One pill is plenty. I have no choice about the thyroid pill. At one time I was on 5 diff psych meds. It got to be such a hassle I just went off of them. My issues are not solved by pills, it's more I would need longterm therapy for complex ptsd stemming from child abuse and neglect.
 
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F

Fadingfast

Come in peace, go in peace
May 9, 2019
106
Hi Fadingfast, I have benefited greatly from medications, and psychiatric medications. If it wasn't for them I would have been dead a long time ago. The best medicine I have is an antipsychotic. Not that I am psychotic, but that I use it for off label uses. It's my best sleeping medicine, best medicine for my tinnitus, best for my nerves. So that is my experience. Granted not everyone is helped by medications. But if you really feel like it's doing nothing then try another class of medications. Or heck tapper off medications all together and try some psychedelics as a last resort. But whatever you do you should give life and the options we have a good try before you end it.
Thank you for your advice. I've been on several different combinations of pills and found no relief. The severity of my psychosis seems to just go away on it's own after a few months and I'm stuck picking up the pieces at least twice a year. I can't keep doing this. I want to jump just can't stay sober enough to drive 6-8 hours. I know... EPIC fail.
I would say no, whatever benefit there was is short lived. I had decided to give up all medications and yes I'm depressed but I'd still rather be unmedicated because I don't have to worry about pills. One pill is plenty. I have no choice about the thyroid pill. At one time I was on 5 diff psych meds. It got to be such a hassle I just went off of them. My issues are not solved by pills, it's more I would need longterm therapy for complex ptsd stemming from child abuse and neglect.
The only pill I benefit from is seroquel and I've been taking it for years. I can't take the with drawl or I'd be off it and odering N. Heard antipsychotic meds interfer with N.
 
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N

NOT

Experienced
Apr 16, 2019
250
They can write you a leave of absence from work.
They can prescribe drugs.
Depends on a relationship.
 
F

Fadingfast

Come in peace, go in peace
May 9, 2019
106
They can write you a leave of absence from work.
They can prescribe drugs.
Depends on a relationship.

I work for my mother and she goes to my appointments with me. She even said she's getting fed up with my inability to work full time. There was a point when we worked together and lately it has all been on her. I feel like such a loser. I'm a dog groomer and a lot of people think we do is play with dogs all day... Nothing can be further from the truth.
 
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Ruffian

Ruffian

Jumpin Jack Flash, it’s a gas gas gas
Jan 16, 2019
696
I work for my mother and she goes to my appointments with me. She even said she's getting fed up with my inability to work full time. There was a point when we worked together and lately it has all been on her. I feel like such a loser. I'm a dog groomer and a lot of people think we do is play with dogs all day... Nothing can be further from the truth.
I think being a dog groomer would be awesome and therapeutic. Maybe you can get stabilized on the right meds and find a position with another groomer?
 
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Fadingfast

Come in peace, go in peace
May 9, 2019
106
I think being a dog groomer would be awesome and therapeutic. Maybe you can get stabilized on the right meds and find a position with another groomer?

The dogs/cats can sense everything. You really have to be in good mental and physical health. My Mom would never understand me going to work for a competitor. Thank you for your thoughts.
 
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Soul

Soul

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
Apr 12, 2019
4,705
Working with animals seems like a wonderful job - it would be excellent if you could get back to enjoying it without these barriers. Can you talk with your doctor at all about trying other meds, or try finding another doctor?

I have some idea of how hard it can be to deal with these problems. You're not a loser; it's an objectively hard situation to find your balance in - for your mother too, I reckon. Hugs
 
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Fadingfast

Come in peace, go in peace
May 9, 2019
106
Last week I told my Mom I want to die. I just broke down and told her by suicide. I can't stop crying and she wants to hospitalize me Monday. I can't do this shit anymore. I know it's out of love but I just can't... I need a bridge but it's hours away. There's a gun but I've never shot. I've been hospitalized 5 or 6 times since December. I'm just stuck here suffering.
 
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Monster

Monster

Member
Apr 26, 2019
77
Tons of people have different disadvantages, whether objective or perceived, for their whole lives. You can't fix everything. If you want to kill yourself because of those disadvantages is up to you.
 
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Mort

Mort

No use to know one
Feb 15, 2019
622
Well i had to see a shrink my self a long time ago as i try to stab my self in the heart at work . So ended up in hospital for a few weeks and this cockey young shrink barely out of college try to get in my head. But i had shut down by this point he try all sorts then he mad a big mistake by trying to get me angry OPS it work. Next thing he knew was my hand was around his throat and i pick of his feet and pind him to the wall . It took six orderlys to get me of him well he never came back after that i have seen others over the years but dont do anything good just make it worse in the end.
 
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F

Fadingfast

Come in peace, go in peace
May 9, 2019
106
Tons of people have different disadvantages, whether objective or perceived, for their whole lives. You can't fix everything. If you want to kill yourself because of those disadvantages is up to you.

Schizophrenia is a real bitch. The dellusions/hallucinations are really embarassing. I just cried to my Mom about how I should have a choice about living or dying. She'll never understand. I'll never get close to another person. It's so embarassing the thing's I've thought and said. It's not like the dellusions will go away. I can't keep doing this.
 
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Nullm

Nullm

Student
Apr 5, 2019
133
Did you have psychosis even though you took medication ?
 
RodgerThat

RodgerThat

It's over and out.
Apr 23, 2019
84
They just want to sell drugs in the end, or sign you up to expensive therapy with people who spew useless platitudes. If you're lucky, they'll prescribe you some happy pills which make you feel nothing at all instead of sadness, and force you to pay for the pleasure.
 
F

Fadingfast

Come in peace, go in peace
May 9, 2019
106
Did you have psychosis even though you took medication ?

Yes. It was very severe and felt so real. Now I'm back to "normal" and have every intention of checking out before that shit comes back. I lost everything and am only left with nightmares and rum. I never drank before this last episode. It's not even 10:30 am and I'm drunk and called out of work again. I'm just so scared that my clients can see the depression on my face. I'm a pet groomer and it's like the animals can feel my attitude. Just a bad situation. I'm sure I'm not the only one.
 
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D

devin44

Member
May 24, 2019
42
I know you said psychiatry, but for what it's worth talk therapy (as well as active involvement with a community centre) has made a huge amount of difference to my quality of life for the better. If possible keep trying until you find the right person.