Psychedelics may save me

[TheCyberian]

I have very severe major depressive disorder and I frequently experience intense episodes of suicidal despair. There are literally no happy moments during my episodes; happiness becomes a nonexistent foreign concept to me during these periods. I've tried several SSRIs and not one has ever brought me relief.

Up until recently, I had been planning to CTB this Sunday. I felt the numbness that preceded all my previous attempts and knew I was ready. Luckily, I decided to try shrooms last week on a whim. I took 2.5 grams and it was easily one of the most emotionally intense experiences of my life. It felt like I was connected to every living thing around me. I thought of how my death would affect my friends and family and I could feel their pain and sadness so vividly. Then I turned inward and thought of my life and imagined the version of myself that I want to be and how she'd never get a chance to exist if I kill myself.

Strangely enough, I felt happy for the first time in months during all this. The happiness is still present too! I'm not entirely sure, but I think the shrooms ended my depressive episode. This isn't a permanent solution and psychedelics definitely aren't for everyone, but in my (limited) experience they've really had a positive impact. I no longer want to die and I hope I can stay that way.

 

[NoHorizon]

That's amazing, I'm really happy for you and hope the recovery continues.

There's a trial treatment in the UK at the moment with psychedelics (under supervision of a therapist) for depression and I've read in a book about it before. Sounds promising and I'd be very interested in trying it if it became available as a treatment option.

 

[jodes2]

I'm so glad your depression and suicidal aren't so persistent that you can't see the light of the tunnel I'm so glad you have some hope and a way through, I absolutely wish you the best luck with psychedelics, and any other possible solutions you come across very, very well done for pushing on, it's very, very tough, you should be so very proud with yourself for exploring options even in your darkest times we'd all miss you if you CTB'd

Damn, I must try psychedelics so badly!!! They obviously did a great number on you. Thank you for sharing

 

[Capsaicin78]

love hearing about positive psychedelic experiences <3.

 

[TheCyberian]

That's amazing, I'm really happy for you and hope the recovery continues.

There's a trial treatment in the UK at the moment with psychedelics (under supervision of a therapist) for depression and I've read in a book about it before. Sounds promising and I'd be very interested in trying it if it became available as a treatment option.

thank you! I think they really could be a breakthrough therapy for mental health problems. I wish guided psychedelic therapy was more available in the states. So far the only psychedelic therapy we have nationwide is ketamine, and it's quite expensive and strictly regulated. A trusted therapist guiding me through a shrooms or acid trip would be incredibly healing, I think.

I'm so glad your depression and suicidal aren't so persistent that you can't see the light of the tunnel I'm so glad you have some hope and a way through, I absolutely wish you the best luck with psychedelics, and any other possible solutions you come across very, very well done for pushing on, it's very, very tough, you should be so very proud with yourself for exploring options even in your darkest times we'd all miss you if you CTB'd

Damn, I must try psychedelics so badly!!! They obviously did a great number on you. Thank you for sharing

Thank you I should emphasize that self-medding psychedelics can be risky and might exacerbate conditions like schizophrenia and bipolar disorder or utterly terrify someone with PTSD without the company of a therapist. Definitely do your research and start small in the company of someone you love and trust.

A high dose of shrooms will especially make you confront your demons whether you're ready or not. There were points during my trip where I felt like I was hanging on by a thread, but my supportive friend and the positive atmosphere of my environment helped me hold on through the most intense bits.

 

[Huntfish34]

Ahh yeah, I'm quite glad to hear that mushrooms have helped you. I believe you have just about hit the head on the nail with the different aspects / dangers involved with psychedelics as a whole. ( It's temporary for the most part and Respect / Prepare for whatever kind of dose you are taking..... set , setting, people / friends, overall ambiance are of Absolute precedence). .. They can all make or break your trip in the end.

They have * mushrooms and LSD * taken me just about Evverywhere...... From the heights of the Heavens , all the way down to the depths of Complete hell and despair. I don't regret Any of my trips, but numerous were Extremely trying to say the Least. Especially during some of the ego death moments. .. yeaa, Wow.. -

I could go on and on ... but I hope they shine their magical light upon you whenever it comes, thank you much for sharing. Blessings ♥

 

[NumbItAll]

It is great to see this. Psychedelics look very promising from what I've seen and experienced personally.

Some research:

Psychedelic Compound in "Magic Mushrooms" Prompts Growth of Neural Connections Lost in Depression

A new mouse study showed how one dose of psilocybin led to an immediate, long-lasting increase in the number and strength of connections between neurons.

www.genengnews.com

Psilocybin Could be a Therapeutic Breakthrough For Addiction

A new study adds to growing evidence that psilocybin is worth investigating as a treatment for substance use disorder.

time.com

So if it is really promoting the rapid growth of neural pathways then that is great for breaking out of negative thought patterns, processing trauma, overcoming addiction, etc. I have recently started microdosing 0.1g psilocybin with amazing results pretty much overnight. I felt self esteem for the first time in ages and it made me want to go out and do things. I felt more like a part of the world instead of being trapped in it. It knocked down my depression significantly, and after only a week I started taking it less frequently because it got to be pretty intense and exhausting (like a brain workout). So I am taking things more slowly now to process everything but I would recommend everyone try at least microdosing. Psilocybin is one of safest drugs as long as you don't take more than you can handle psychologically. FWIW it is supposed to have similar effects on the brain as ketamine, but it just gets there in a different way. I wish there was more research and acceptance for it.

 

[👁️👃👁️]

This is incredible<3