Help Protracted Withdrawal Syndrome

[Morris1211]

I am suffering from protracted withdrawal syndrome from an improper taper of antidepressants. I have been suffering relentlessly for the past 5 months and only getting worse. This could last for years. I can't do it anymore. I've mostly been confined to my room because of intense anxiety and panic attacks but if I take enough benzos I think I could make it to a local hotel. It's over 300ft in height 104 meters. I could book a room for the top floor that has a balcony. It's over pavement. Do you think if I jumped it would be instant death? I don't know how I'd get the positioning right to go head first but I'm hoping any impact that isn't feet first would result in immediate death. I believe the hotel is 22 storeys.

 

[Dr.Duck]

I'm speaking out of my ass but I think if you did it like a belly flop and drop your head. It would make contact first. Hope that is right and is useful.

 

[Fadenself00]

have you tried reinstating a tiny dose?

 

[idiotmother]

I also suffer from this and made it more complicated by getting forced onto anti psychotics. If you are completely off the drugs, there's a chance you can recover, but I also understand if you are past that point. Which drug(s) did this to you?

 

[Morris1211]

I also suffer from this and made it more complicated by getting forced onto anti psychotics. If you are completely off the drugs, there's a chance you can recover, but I also understand if you are past that point. Which drug(s) did this to you?

The drug that did this to me was Cymbalta. Was one week cross tapered from Cymbalta to Lexapro but was having adverse effects/withdrawal from too quick changeover. Stop Lexapro cold turkey after 6 week use at the ok of my nurse practitioner because I'd only been on it for a short time. Had a honeymoon phase of a few weeks. Started getting crazy symptoms of the worst anxiety, panic, dread I've ever experienced in my life. Also insomnia and loss of appetite. Didn't know what the hell was happening to me. Assumed it was absence of drugs but didn't know about protracted and reinstatement at the time. Went back to clueless NP and she put me on Zoloft where I kindled. Finally got into see my psychiatrist 3 months after completely stopping Cymbalta (which is a drug brutal for protracted withdrawal and needs to be tapered carefully over years) and he tried to reinstate at full dose but nervous system was too destabilized it didn't take. Tried to tolerate it for a month. Was doing so poorly got myself hospitalized for 3 weeks and polydrugged. Now in an even worse spot put on benzos, z-drugs and Pregabalin. I lost my ability to swallow solid foods so lost 70 lbs in 5 months. Anhedonia, Depression, SI. You name it. Confined to my room all day. Miserable existence. Sorry for the long rant. How long have you been in protracted and which drug injured you? What antipsychotic are you on?

have you tried reinstating a tiny dose?

Yes it didn't work. Too late for it.

 

[idiotmother]

The drug that did this to me was Cymbalta. Was one week cross tapered from Cymbalta to Lexapro but was having adverse effects/withdrawal from too quick changeover. Stop Lexapro cold turkey after 6 week use at the ok of my nurse practitioner because I'd only been on it for a short time. Had a honeymoon phase of a few weeks. Started getting crazy symptoms of the worst anxiety, panic, dread I've ever experienced in my life. Also insomnia and loss of appetite. Didn't know what the hell was happening to me. Assumed it was absence of drugs but didn't know about protracted and reinstatement at the time. Went back to clueless NP and she put me on Zoloft where I kindled. Finally got into see my psychiatrist 3 months after completely stopping Cymbalta (which is a drug brutal for protracted withdrawal and needs to be tapered carefully over years) and he tried to reinstate at full dose but nervous system was too destabilized it didn't take. Tried to tolerate it for a month. Was doing so poorly got myself hospitalized for 3 weeks and polydrugged. Now in an even worse spot put on benzos, z-drugs and Pregabalin. I lost my ability to swallow solid foods so lost 70 lbs in 5 months. Anhedonia, Depression, SI. You name it. Confined to my room all day. Miserable existence. Sorry for the long rant. How long have you been in protracted and which drug injured you? What antipsychotic are you on?

Yes it didn't work. Too late for it.

That's insane!! You've been through so much with these drugs, can't believe you lost the ability to swallow, like wtf? Rant all you want, you deserve to, what a hellish experience! What did the kindling feel like for you?

I was damaged by Effexor. Got protracted withdrawal a couple months after stopping it and of course no doctors believed me, they thought it was my original "illness," except I never felt that horrible in my life and I had such bizarre bodily symptoms that didnt mske any sense. I fucked myself up worse by attempting to reinstate which I learned about in a forum, where I listened to the worst advice instead of the good. Reinstating fucked my ears up and that sent me into a spiral. Tried a supplement to help with my mood and I believe I was "kindled" by that. I got horrible shaking/Akathisia like symptoms, insomnia and ended up in hospital. The managed to control it with propranolol and klonopin but didnt prescribe me anything upon discharge. The horrible shaking came back and i made a suicidal gesture, my mom called the cops on me and I was thrown back into hospital and forced onto risperidone. After tapering risperidone and then re upping the risperidone I had a bad reaction and ended up hospitalized for the third time where they put me on seroquel. I have so much regret and hate for myself because I cojld have prevented all of this if I never reinstated or took the supplement.

 

[Morris1211]

That's insane!! You've been through so much with these drugs, can't believe you lost the ability to swallow, like wtf? Rant all you want, you deserve to, what a hellish experience! What did the kindling feel like for you?

I was damaged by Effexor. Got protracted withdrawal a couple months after stopping it and of course no doctors believed me, they thought it was my original "illness," except I never felt that horrible in my life and I had such bizarre bodily symptoms that didnt mske any sense. I fucked myself up worse by attempting to reinstate which I learned about in a forum, where I listened to the worst advice instead of the good. Reinstating fucked my ears up and that sent me into a spiral. Tried a supplement to help with my mood and I believe I was "kindled" by that. I got horrible shaking/Akathisia like symptoms, insomnia and ended up in hospital. The managed to control it with propranolol and klonopin but didnt prescribe me anything upon discharge. The horrible shaking came back and i made a suicidal gesture, my mom called the cops on me and I was thrown back into hospital and forced onto risperidone. After tapering risperidone and then re upping the risperidone I had a bad reaction and ended up hospitalized for the third time where they put me on seroquel. I have so much regret and hate for myself because I cojld have prevented all of this if I never reinstated or took the supplement.

The kindling felt like I was plugged into an electrical socket. I guess it was akathisia. I just couldn't relax. I had to keep moving constantly. Insomnia. Loss of appetite. I knew something wasn't right but my doctor kept telling me to wait it out and it would get better and we kept increasing the dosage of the Zoloft which was making me worse. I literally did everything wrong in this situation. Which forum did you learn about reinstatement on? Was it surviving antidepressants? Did reinstate at a low dose? How long were you on Effexor? Did you CT or taper? Are you still in protracted? Sorry for all the questions. I heard Effexor and Cymbalta are the two worst antidepressants for causing protracted withdrawal. I'll regret the decisions I made that led me here for as long as I'm alive. It was all so preventable.

 

[idiotmother]

The kindling felt like I was plugged into an electrical socket. I guess it was akathisia. I just couldn't relax. I had to keep moving constantly. Insomnia. Loss of appetite. I knew something wasn't right but my doctor kept telling me to wait it out and it would get better and we kept increasing the dosage of the Zoloft which was making me worse. I literally did everything wrong in this situation. Which forum did you learn about reinstatement on? Was it surviving antidepressants? Did reinstate at a low dose? How long were you on Effexor? Did you CT or taper? Are you still in protracted? Sorry for all the questions. I heard Effexor and Cymbalta are the two worst antidepressants for causing protracted withdrawal. I'll regret the decisions I made that led me here for as long as I'm alive. It was all so preventable.

I did everything wrong too!! And I will also always regret these decisions til the day I die. It's so horrible!!! And it was so preventable as you said. I made the wrong choice every time and the brain is not forgiving. How you describe kindling is exactly how I felt after taking the supplement and tapering and upping the risperidone. I made so many terrible mistakes!

Yes, the forum was survivingantidepressants, I got assigned the worst mod and sctuslly had some well meaning people tell me to just wait it out but I didn't listen. I reinstated like the mod suggested and it caused a crazy pressure change in my ear canal and made it pop each time I swallowed. It continues today but I'm more distracted by how horrible I feel thanks to the antipsychotics. My provider "tapered" me off the Effexor but it was the wrong way as none of these doctors realize the dangers of these drugs.

Ask as many questions as you want. I have no life or functioning outside my phone and video games now. I have a daughter but I can barely care for her because of this condition. Idk if I'm still in protracted from Effexor or if it's all hellish side effects from the anti psychotics. But I know if my brain hadnt been hypersensitized because of Effexor withdrawal , I would be able to taper safely. I don't feel I can do that now. Like it's just been too many blows for my brain. I wish so badly to be able to get off these horrible drugs but I feel kindled when I taper, which leads to more drugs.

How is Pregabalin working for you? I'm also on a Benzo but considering adding Pregabalin for the anxiety that still persists and for if I try tapering. I just feel so fucked over and one more wrong move I'm just gonna go off and die because these feelings are so awful and no one understands!! Sorry for blabbing so much.

 

[Morris1211]

I did everything wrong too!! And I will also always regret these decisions til the day I die. It's so horrible!!! And it was so preventable as you said. I made the wrong choice every time and the brain is not forgiving. How you describe kindling is exactly how I felt after taking the supplement and tapering and upping the risperidone. I made so many terrible mistakes!

Yes, the forum was survivingantidepressants, I got assigned the worst mod and sctuslly had some well meaning people tell me to just wait it out but I didn't listen. I reinstated like the mod suggested and it caused a crazy pressure change in my ear canal and made it pop each time I swallowed. It continues today but I'm more distracted by how horrible I feel thanks to the antipsychotics. My provider "tapered" me off the Effexor but it was the wrong way as none of these doctors realize the dangers of these drugs.

Ask as many questions as you want. I have no life or functioning outside my phone and video games now. I have a daughter but I can barely care for her because of this condition. Idk if I'm still in protracted from Effexor or if it's all hellish side effects from the anti psychotics. But I know if my brain hadnt been hypersensitized because of Effexor withdrawal , I would be able to taper safely. I don't feel I can do that now. Like it's just been too many blows for my brain. I wish so badly to be able to get off these horrible drugs but I feel kindled when I taper, which leads to more drugs.

How is Pregabalin working for you? I'm also on a Benzo but considering adding Pregabalin for the anxiety that still persists and for if I try tapering. I just feel so fucked over and one more wrong move I'm just gonna go off and die because these feelings are so awful and no one understands!! Sorry for blabbing so much.

That's ok. It helps to hear others stories and that you're not alone. How long were you on Effexor and how long was your taper? I don't know if Pregabalin is doing much. I just know it's another med I'll eventually have to taper off of so I'm mad I was put on it. I'm also on clonazepam and Zoplicone for sleep which will eventually screw me over when I reach tolerance. Which benzo are you on? Do you take it daily? I take 0.5mg clonazepam twice a day. How long have you been in protracted? It's probably the worst thing anyone could go through. No one can understand the mental anguish. I feel like I'm dead inside. Like the pleasure centre of my brain is just shut down. It makes it even harder with the holidays coming up. I also wish I could taper these drugs but my nervous system is too destabilized. It would just make my symptoms worse. Big pharma should be sued for this shit and the lives they ruined. And the doctors carelessly prescribing these potent meds with no idea how to safely take people off of them.