Venting Productivity is killing me

[Despondent_Fondant]

Everything always has to be life or death, things either have to be the best thing to ever occur to me, or the most crippling experience I have ever felt. I cannot let myself be happy with what I have, I always need more, not more things, not more people, not more of anything other than more from myself. I am stretched so thin, I would like to say I can be all stoic about it but it's getting harder all the time. The worst part is people love who I am right now, I'm always at events, teachers love me, even my family tolerates me, but I hate this. It's not just responsibilities that are making me feel like this, I would say 80% of it is my constant need to improve who I am, improve my body, how people see me, the media I consume, the media I produce, and most of all, improve how I think. I know this reads like "woah is me" and it's hard to articulate it in any other way, but the idea that I can accomplish anything truly terrifies me.

 

[MeowTheFlemishCat]

I'm stuck in a shoebox apartment dealing with chronic illness I can't turn off, forced financial conservatorship, and zero friends or family around me.

 

[Despondent_Fondant]

I'm stuck in a shoebox apartment dealing with chronic illness I can't turn off, forced financial conservatorship, and zero friends or family around me.

We are in drastically different situations, and yet we both are on the same site. There is no doubt in my mind that I would not survive what you are going through, you are stronger than me.

 

[F@#$]

Have you tried drugs? Like smoke some weed or go get drunk or whatever. Motorcycles and hot chicks are distracting too.