Help Processing "CTB right now" type threads?

[Idontrecognizemyself]

I find myself posting on a lot of active attempt threads, wishing folks the best and a safe trip. The next morning, and again several times throughout the week I'll check those profiles often to see the last active times, just making sure, and I'll think about those people a lot. This is such a unique setting in that you are able to connect with people so deeply and intimately, ONLY when you will never hear from them again. I find myself unsure what to do emotionally in the aftermath of these CTBs. Praying for their peace and easing of suffering feels wrong and inauthentic, and I'm not even religious, haha. Sometimes I find myself making some tea for my roommates or reaching out to people I haven't heard from in awhile, I guess trying to ease the grand sum of miserableness in the world in memory of those who left.

Do you have any way you honor the folks who publicly pass/stop posting on here? Is there a way you hope people remember you, after the new comments trickle out on your goodbye post? Is this a totally unrelatable feeling? Haha.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I have a minute to myself where I read some of their stuff and quietly wish them well. It's all internal though, I can't really bring myself to post in those topics. I find it sad, honestly. I am not someone who revels in the idea of death. I think it's a tragedy life fucked us all over like this. But obviously I understand as I'm in the same boat.

 

[FuneralCry]

I always wish people peace in goodbye threads. The way I see it, the people who have ctb are free from this horrible world and are no longer suffering, they got what they wanted. I often admire their courage and it makes me feel more confident that I can go through with it myself. I hope that nobody remembers me, when I leave, I want to be forgotten.