I'm not sure that would be a good idea for anyone to suggest here, but I'm also not aware of any to begin with. Even SS is more along the lines of ending suffering rather than inflicting more (I know it's not that black and white though, regarding self-harm, so I don't mean to offend.)
By pro-self harm, do you mean somewhere that it is promoted or you mean a place where there is simply no one in your ear making you feel horrible about it? Because even this site regarding suicide is not pro-suicide, it's just pro-choice. You're looking for a similar thing but more specific to your situation?
I'm so sorry you have gotten to the point where the scars prevent you from leading a normal life. I have some deep ones that required stitches (and a few that never got any so they look nasty) but rather than an ongoing compulsion, they were done in a state of panic, like a cornered animal attacking itself. I was also already on some type of medication at that time which influenced my decision making (not the last time that happened, fuck psych meds) and my parents were making me feel even more alone and suffocated. This was a long time ago but I am still pissed off at them for that, especially because the main incident got one of my siblings dragged into it, as I mistakenly went to them first, instead of the only parent that was home (who was and still is horrible to me). Pretty sure it just enhanced their disgust of me.
I recall moments of doing it during my eating disorder days even before that, but they were not deep and I don't think there's any scars. For me, the scars I do have from any more serious incidents, pale in comparison to everything else I deal with as far as my physical self and what I'm forced to show the world. I am extremely uncomfortable in my skin and rightfully so-considering what I look like and all the abuse I've gotten for it, which no doubt contributed to the further destruction of something that held little value as it was/is.
Now though, I try not to actively make myself look any worse. Granted, being miserable and too fatigued for basic hygiene takes its own steps in further deteriorating this body. I'm just so tired.
But in that respect, I do understand not being able to lead a normal life, or any life at all, because of what's been done to my face and body and what was already unappealing and off-putting to begin with.
I hardly leave the house and keep my distance from people who would no sooner look upon me with hatred and disdain, feeling instantly superior just by taking one glance at me. I might as well be covered in scars head to toe.
Hate to be that guy, but is there nothing else that makes you feel better? Something that won't leave scars? Or are we talking 'Sharp Objects' level of scarring here?
