Venting Pro-lifers would rather have you work till you die than to accept suicide as a way out.

[Circles]

My job is killing me slowly while only making at best 12k a year. That's no where reasonable to even support yourself in wage slave America. That's poverty level and feel like homelessness will become a likelihood. I'm breaking my back and knees and for what exactly? It's getting really frustrating each day I go in I just want to scream fuck this shit and go kill myself immediately. Why can't I convince myself to just fucking do it? It's what I want and yet I keep living this charade of a life as if everything is okay when that's far from the truth. I just want to vent since everyone I talk to will say 'either go to school or get a job' as if both are easy and enjoyable. I have to work in the morning and I hope I can hold it together but man this shit is getting to me. I can't see how people can live like this for decades. All well I guess I'm to much of a pussy who complains. Whatever, goodnight everybody!

Edit: apologies for posting it twice.

 

[Nofaith]

Goodnight *Hugs*

 

[MAIO]

My job is killing me slowly while only making at best 12k a year. That's no where reasonable to even support yourself in wage slave America. That's poverty level and feel like homelessness will become a likelihood. I'm breaking my back and knees and for what exactly? It's getting really frustrating each day I go in I just want to scream fuck this shit and go kill myself immediately. Why can't I convince myself to just fucking do it? It's what I want and yet I keep living this charade of a life as if everything is okay when that's far from the truth. I just want to vent since everyone I talk to will say 'either go to school or get a job' as if both are easy and enjoyable. I have to work in the morning and I hope I can hold it together but man this shit is getting to me. I can't see how people can live like this for decades. All well I guess I'm to much of a pussy who complains. Whatever, goodnight everybody!

Edit: apologies for posting it twice.

You need to find a different job in the mean time. Did you have a criminal record or anything like that?

 

[Circles]

You need to find a different job in the mean time. Did you have a criminal record or anything like that?

No but I use drugs a lot so any job worth having I'd have to sacrifice the only thing that brings me joy. And since I don't feel like going back to college my only options where I live are trade schools which I might take in a few years if I'm still living, but they drug test and work well over 10 to 12 hours 5-7 days a week hard manual labor. Is that even a life? I think I could make it a few years then end up being depressed as fuck as usual and end up back to square one. Then their are only full time/part time jobs like mine where the pay and hours are shit. It's a warehouse job so I don't have to deal with people that much but most other jobs would be paying minimum wage and are service sector in which I'd have to deal with people constantly. I even told a coworker I'd rather break my back than work at a call center. No matter what I'll always hate working in general and I guess I just too lazy. I'm just not cut out for it okay. It's fucking exhausting.

 

[MAIO]

No but I use drugs a lot so any job worth having I'd have to sacrifice the only thing that brings me joy. And since I don't feel like going back to college my only options where I live are trade schools which I might take in a few years if I'm still living, but they drug test and work well over 10 to 12 hours 5-7 days a week hard manual labor. Is that even a life? I think I could make it a few years then end up being depressed as fuck as usual and end up back to square one. Then their are only full time/part time jobs like mine where the pay and hours are shit. It's a warehouse job so I don't have to deal with people that much but most other jobs would be paying minimum wage and are service sector in which I'd have to deal with people constantly. I even told a coworker I'd rather break my back than work at a call center. No matter what I'll always hate working in general and I guess I just too lazy. I'm just not cut out for it okay. It's fucking exhausting.

Maybe you could try social service or security? With most security jobs you just sit there. And you could also a social service job where you hang out with someone with disabilities, they never drug test. I am sure you would make more than minimum wage.

 

[Smilla]

Humans were not meant for this.

Don't blame yourself.

 

[Circles]

Maybe you could try social service or security? With most security jobs you just sit there. And you could also a social service job where you hang out with someone with disabilities, they never drug test. I am sure you would make more than minimum wage.

Yea but your still sitting in a small room which I might add I'd be claustrophobic and still deal with people since you have to check them constantly. It'd still pay probably minimum wage being full time. Idk maybe. Thanks anyway.

 

[MAIO]

Yea but your still sitting in a small room which I might add I'd be claustrophobic and still deal with people since you have to check them constantly. It'd still pay probably minimum wage being full time. Idk maybe. Thanks anyway.

What do you do at the warehouse? And I am assuming you mean you make $12 an hour? If you work 40 hours a week that is actually 24kay a year.

 

[Circles]

Humans were not meant for this.

Don't blame yourself.

I swear every time I see your avatar it looks like a 17th century guy with a wig. Yea I have bad eyes and thanks for being understanding.

 

[Circles]

What do you do at the warehouse? And I am assuming you mean you make $12 an hour? If you work 40 hours a week that is actually 24kay a year.

If only it was that simple. The warehouse I work is back breaking labor. Seriously lifting, pushing, heaving, throwing all kinds of heavy ass materials onto a conveyor belt especially for 12 hours is no easy task. Plus 4K of that 24k would go to taxes and medical care etc. which I'd have to stay over a year just to get. That's still minimum wage and barely livable as you at best get buy. Most of that would go to my rent if I lived alone. My back and knees are killing me so what then? This shit is not easy. I'm already considering to quit cause what's the point? I guess I'm just making excuses at this point but I just fucking hate working. You obviously have a stronger willpower for working than I do.

 

[Final Escape]

My job is killing me slowly while only making at best 12k a year. That's no where reasonable to even support yourself in wage slave America. That's poverty level and feel like homelessness will become a likelihood. I'm breaking my back and knees and for what exactly? It's getting really frustrating each day I go in I just want to scream fuck this shit and go kill myself immediately. Why can't I convince myself to just fucking do it? It's what I want and yet I keep living this charade of a life as if everything is okay when that's far from the truth. I just want to vent since everyone I talk to will say 'either go to school or get a job' as if both are easy and enjoyable. I have to work in the morning and I hope I can hold it together but man this shit is getting to me. I can't see how people can live like this for decades. All well I guess I'm to much of a pussy who complains. Whatever, goodnight everybody!

Edit: apologies for posting it twice.

What job is it? Sounds like hell. You will end up quitting anyway if it's that bad. The best thing to do is try to find a different one b4 u quit but sometimes u end up just hating it so much u can't wait that long.

 

[Circles]

What job is it? Sounds like hell. You will end up quitting anyway if it's that bad. The best thing to do is try to find a different one b4 u quit but sometimes u end up just hating it so much u can't wait that long.

I have to stay there to get a good reference. Does 8 months of employment sound reasonable for a manager to hire me? Before this job I was close to being homeless as I I didn't work for 3 years living in and out of my mothers house being suicidal and shit. I had another part time job before that but only during the summer months. Any employer would look at me and gasp with laughter especially since I have no social skills or any other skill in all honesty. I am such a fucking failure I just don't care anymore.

 

[MAIO]

If only it was that simple. The warehouse I work is back breaking labor. Seriously lifting, pushing, heaving, throwing all kinds of heavy ass materials onto a conveyor belt especially for 12 hours is no easy task. Plus 4K of that 24k would go to taxes and medical care etc. which I'd have to stay over a year just to get. That's still minimum wage and barely livable as you at best get buy. Most of that would go to my rent if I lived alone. My back and knees are killing me so what then? This shit is not easy. I'm already considering to quit cause what's the point? I guess I'm just making excuses at this point but I just fucking hate working. You obviously have a stronger willpower for working than I do.

If by work you mean I get high with clients, go to bars. Play video games and sleep than yes I have a high will power for working. Warehouse job i will never do that again. And When I worked in a warehouse I did Inventory control and forklift. No way in hell I would do the shit your describing. Although I can understand people putting up with warehouse worse at UPS to get a very well paying driving job.

 

[Circles]

If by work you mean I get high with clients, go to bars. Play video games and sleep than yes I have a high will power for working. Warehouse job i will never do that again. And When I worked in a warehouse I did Inventory control and forklift. No way in hell I would do the shit your describing. Although I can understand people putting up with warehouse worse at UPS to get a very well paying driving job.

If by work you mean I get high with clients, go to bars. Play video games and sleep than yes I have a high will power for working. Warehouse job i will never do that again. And When I worked in a warehouse I did Inventory control and forklift. No way in hell I would do the shit your describing. Although I can understand people putting up with warehouse worse at UPS to get a very well paying driving job.

I'd love to stay and chat but I have to work in the morning. I'll follow up as soon as I get home. Goodnight and thank you for atleast being helpful and understanding.