Pretending to be a regular, functional adult.

[SipSop]

I feel there is no other way for me but pretending, hiding and faking being a stable adult.
I am tired of this mood swings. I believe that I have BPD. I either get too attached or no attached at all of others. I am either interested or not interested at all in things.
I suffer, as I ended up alone because I can't connect with many people and my family is getting tired of me not beginning life already. I pay my own rent and bills, I have some cash left but I must do something. I'm restless.
I pretended all my fucking life only to fit in, and I got tired of it. I do not want to be lonely but I do not want to be in bad company either. Is so painful. And I do not want to lie either. Is such a burden.

 

[a.n.kirillov]

. I pay my own rent and bills, I have some cash left

You are a functional adult. – And who wants to be regular anyway?

 

[SipSop]

. I pay my own rent and bills, I have some cash left

You are a functional adult. – And who wants to be regular anyway?

I did not expected this...
This made me smile. Thank you.

 

[Una]

@a.n.kirillov said it all.

To that, I can only add the wisdom of my favorite deserter from the army of regulars:

 

[SipSop]

@a.n.kirillov said it all.

To that, I can only add the wisdom of my favorite deserter from the army of regulars:

View attachment 34355

You just made my day better!
I love his known poems: Style, Don't try and Go all the way.
This community seems to get better and better. I am grateful.

 

[Arrow]

. I pay my own rent and bills, I have some cash left

You are a functional adult. – And who wants to be regular anyway?

i like this

 

[deadpixels]

You already got the best answers that can be given to your question!

I tried acting like a regular person in the past and it was a terrible experience, I had to make too much effort, and I built so much stress from the daily routine that I couldn't sustain it for long, I was exhausted and stressed, I ended in one of the worst emotional outbursts I ever had.

 

[SipSop]

You already got the best answers that can be given to your question!

I tried acting like a regular person in the past and it was a terrible experience, I had to make too much effort, and I built so much stress from the daily routine that I couldn't sustain it for long, I was exhausted and stressed, I ended in one of the worst emotional outbursts I ever had.

I know exactly how it is. I think it is called: losing your authenticity.
I either numb that growing frustration or build up a mountain of anger and fury that will eat mea from inside out little by little.
I really wish I was one of those driven beautiful people wich life seems so glamorous.
I really wish it would have been enough to be myself.

 

[BPD Barbie]

I tried acting 'normal'. Having a job and a social life etc, but I couldn't keep the act up. I'm already dying inside, I need all the energy I have to just wake up each day without needing to put on a fake persona also.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I managed over twenty years of acting normal cuz I thought I wanted that life. I used alcohol to make me more normal. Turns out I was better just being myself all along. Too late now though.
We all fit somewhere under the normal curve, though on here, we snuggle into either end leaving all the normies to party in the middle.

 

[SipSop]

I tried acting 'normal'. Having a job and a social life etc, but I couldn't keep the act up. I'm already dying inside, I need all the energy I have to just wake up each day without needing to put on a fake persona also.

I feel you. I appreciate that you share this. People like you make me happy that I joined this community.

We all fit somewhere under the normal curve, though on here, we snuggle into either end leaving all the normies to party in the middle.

This is one of the most thoughtful and intelligent thing I heard in years. I really can relate to this. I missed this so much. It made me feel that I do fit in society, but not where I believed initially. This really gives me hope. Thank you.