Preparations?

[silligant]

What do you plan to do before catching the bus? Not sure if what I'm doing is overdoing it, but;

I plan to (immediately prior-to plans)
- Clean up all my spaces
- Pack things up in boxes for easy disposal/donation
- Format my storage devices
- Write a final suicide note
- Maybe write a will

For more long-term preparations:
- Erode/eventually cut off friendships and as many relationships as I can
- Save money for what I plan to do
- Publish my creative work
- Quit college/job if I get one
- Perhaps begin acting out to make others dislike me

 

[spiritus]

I will save some money to buy a firearm. I will wander around the forest and camp for a few weeks to find a suitable place and spend my final days in nature. I have no one to say goodbye, so then I will pull the trigger.

 

[Oneness]

I don't see the point of ruining relationships. Might as well enjoy the company of your friends during your last days on earth (if you have the capability to derive enjoyment from that). I would rather leave as a person who was nice and liked than as person who was acting out and disliked.

 

[silligant]

I don't see the point of ruining relationships. Might as well enjoy the company of your friends during your last days on earth (if you have the capability to derive enjoyment from that). I would rather leave as a person who was nice and liked than as person who was acting out and disliked.

I want to distance people to ideally protect them from the effects my suicide might have on them.

Suicide can really ravage someone, and I would prefer harming them by the less damaging method of cutting them loose than committing suicide; with it can come feelings of guilt (e.g. it was my fault, i failed to help) and cause feelings of immense grief. The notion of causing said feelings is the main deterrent to my suicide so far, so I'd like to take any measures I can to prevent them, even if it does involve this very painful process. Being missed is a lovely thing, but I'd rather not be missed for others' sakes.

I'd be quite happy if I died in the company of my friend, but I would prefer to save them the trouble. I also don't want to have a conversation with them regarding suicide prevention; I've made up my mind on it, and an argument would make them feel helpless.

 

[Oneness]

I want to distance people.

with it can come feelings of guilt (e.g. it was my fault, i failed to help) and cause feelings of immense grief.

Distancing from them will probably hurt them too.

One option: explain the true reason for your CTB in the note. It will take the guilt off their shoulders (mostly at least). Make sure that your friends receive the note, for example via using a scheduled email.

But yeah, ultimately only you can know what is the best way to handle these things in your situation. I wish you all the best.

 

[silligant]

Distancing from them will probably hurt them too.

Oh yes, it certainly will. In my case at least I know that I'm less sad about friends that have drifted away than people who I know have died; there's a lot of grief in a suicide even with a fitting suicide note.

I wish you the best as well, and thanks for your advice.

 

[february in alaska]

What do you plan to do before catching the bus? Not sure if what I'm doing is overdoing it, but;

I plan to (immediately prior-to plans)
- Clean up all my spaces
- Pack things up in boxes for easy disposal/donation
- Format my storage devices
- Write a final suicide note
- Maybe write a will

For more long-term preparations:
- Erode/eventually cut off friendships and as many relationships as I can
- Save money for what I plan to do
- Publish my creative work
- Quit college/job if I get one
- Perhaps begin acting out to make others dislike me

There's something weirdly relaxing about putting everything into an organized list. I've written more than I can count, haha.

My own prior-to list would be something like,
- Clean out room/throw out trash/get rid of stuff so my family doesn't have to
- Write and envelope three letters + write a note for whoever finds me
- Collect voice recordings, photos, jokes, documents, and anything I'd like to save in a single flash drive (to be placed in a box with the notes)
- Find a suitable tree/anchor point
- Determine the exact date and cover story to give myself enough time
- Save up money to give to my mom
- Clean up my internet footprint
- Put in my two weeks at work

 

[hi-okbye]

i have a few thing's i'm planning to get done before my suicide. part of why i havn't gotten it done yet.

- listen to all my songs at least once before i go, then listen to my favorite's playlist 3-4 times. some people i know have access to it so i'll be revising it, making sure it's right, as it's sort of a memorial thing. one of my close friends said she would listen to it probably once i'm gone.
- cleaning up my room. i wanna tidy it up, im not gonna put stuff in boxes bc that would look suspicious. i also think maybe my parents would just want to keep it the way it is.
- the day of i have a few things to do, i wanna take a shower, wear my special outfit, etc.
- deleting everything on my personal computer, all evidence. going through things i've made and destroying thing i don't want to be found. same thing with photos on my phone, keep what i like get rid of what i don't.
- i wanted to make a special album of photos to use of me after i die that i like. last thing i want is a whole bunch of people showing up to my funeral and seeing the most horrendous discussing photo of me caught of guard. i would die all over again.
- i'm considering leaving notes, not 100% sure yet.
- i have specific "lasts" that i want to follow. a last movie to watch, last song to listen to, last words to say, last food to eat (other than whatever might be orally ingested for my method), etc

 

[broth0100]

Ive only begun thinking abt my preparations recently but at the moment i know that i would want to clean my living space, give some of best clothing items to friends who i kno would want them..and that's about all ive got right now. Im not responsible for anyone rn or anything so ill have to keep thinking about it. I'll definitely want to give instructions on how to dispose of my body if its found, but im also considering planning so that it'll be hard to find.