Preparation for the suicide investigation

[QuietEnd]

I'm working towards final preparation to CTB, I believe in quality of life over quantity - and I can no longer create and sustain any quality of life due to my physical health, mental health and the cruelness of people and society.

As I'm into final preparations and I'm leaving behind my partner who I love very very dearly. So I want to make things as simple as I can for him.

To this end I've updated

• I've updated my will, and ensured its registered so it can't be contested
• Pre-paid my funeral
• Identified how my ashes need to be buried
• Working out any memberships or other things that need cancelling
• Ensured he has access to all bank accounts - everything was already shared
• Checked my life insurance policy through work doesn't exclude payment due to suicide (they're refusing to give me full details just general wording)
• Materials for my method - last two things have been ordered
• List of insurance details e.g. home/car
• Contact details to inform my work - I wondered if I could have a predrafted email he could send
• All of my passwords (helped by a recent security issue beyond my control)
• Make sure my partner has food in the house - as I'm the organiser of this aspect of our life
• List of who to use for what household supplies e.g. pet biscuits etc.
• Cancel my bank cards so that no repeating payments can be made without him knowing, it case I forget to cancel anything

Question 1: Can you think of anything else I could prepare?

I want to prepare as much as I can for the suicide investigation to make it as simple as possible. What do I need to consider? So far in my research I've concluded that:

• Leave a suicide note to express intent
• Copies of my medical reports - I've had to self - treat a lot due to the NHS so
• List of witnesses and contact details so people can understand my state of mind - in hindsight they should be able to realise I was planning this
• I need to get my partner away from home with proof he wasn't here when I make my exit. I'm thinking of getting him to go fill up the car with petrol to be on security cameras. I want to ensure he can't be charged or even considered to be charged for assisting my suicide (as he hasn't been)
• Proof of intent through my internet search history, and leaving my 5 last acts book
• I think they'll want access to my phone
• Cancel my bank cards so that no recurring payments can be taken

Question 2: Do I need to do a recording as well so it's clear it's my choice?

Question 3: what have I missed or not considered?

 

[Euthanza]

You seems so well organized. If I'm not mistaken you will go by Nitrogen, that's champion choice. I hope you can enjoy all the best things in your last moment, please consider to give yourself one more good time and treatment before the day.

1. What about friends?
2. Recording by cctv will be good.
3. Have you consider who will find your body first?

I wish you peace and dignity.

 

[QuietEnd]

Thank you for the feedback and considerations it's really appreciated.

Yes I've chosen nitrogen, I have the last few parts on order - been taking it slowly as I've done the research and reading and deciding.

1. I have no friends except my partner. I have work colleagues but I'm only expecting a small superficial reaction from them. Work will deal with the notifications with whatever messaging they want to layer into that.

2. Good point on filming, I'll add that to my process. I was already thinking that I would choose my garden as my location and put all of the evidence and other information the police would need next to my body. I'm hoping this will reduce the need for the police to enter my home (my partner is high risk from COVID and we've been full shielding with no physical contact in two years unless fully masked and then a full disinfectant process afterwards).

3. Unfortunately I don't have any choice except for my partner to find me. Because I'm in the UK he can't be with me at the end otherwise he'll be complicit. So I have to ensure he's away from the home and with a verifiable alibi. I'd considered whether I could be away from home but we only have one car and for me to move my equipment away from home I'd have to have the car - I'm worried they'd seize it as part of the investigation.

 

[Grav]

Not sure how this would play out but maybe leave a note on the door with something like "notify police, don't come in room" and have him wait for the police to show up and let them be the first to find you? He may just go in anyway though. This is what I'm planning so neither my wife nor child will see me.

 

[QuietEnd]

Hi Grav, that's a good idea. I can put that on the front door and on the garden gate. I just need to make sure that there's no deliveries.

 

[freevoid]

Wow that's incredibly organised. I wracked my brains but have nothing to add onto your or the other members suggestions, as It's all very well rounded. You seem like a very caring, gentle, beautiful individual and as someone is the same position health-wise, I wish you the most blissful peace there is.

 

[london3]

I'm working towards final preparation to CTB, I believe in quality of life over quantity - and I can no longer create and sustain any quality of life due to my physical health, mental health and the cruelness of people and society.

As I'm into final preparations and I'm leaving behind my partner who I love very very dearly. So I want to make things as simple as I can for him.

To this end I've updated

• I've updated my will, and ensured its registered so it can't be contested
• Pre-paid my funeral
• Identified how my ashes need to be buried
• Working out any memberships or other things that need cancelling
• Ensured he has access to all bank accounts - everything was already shared
• Checked my life insurance policy through work doesn't exclude payment due to suicide (they're refusing to give me full details just general wording)
• Materials for my method - last two things have been ordered
• List of insurance details e.g. home/car
• Contact details to inform my work - I wondered if I could have a predrafted email he could send
• All of my passwords (helped by a recent security issue beyond my control)
• Make sure my partner has food in the house - as I'm the organiser of this aspect of our life
• List of who to use for what household supplies e.g. pet biscuits etc.
• Cancel my bank cards so that no repeating payments can be made without him knowing, it case I forget to cancel anything

Question 1: Can you think of anything else I could prepare?

I want to prepare as much as I can for the suicide investigation to make it as simple as possible. What do I need to consider? So far in my research I've concluded that:

• Leave a suicide note to express intent
• Copies of my medical reports - I've had to self - treat a lot due to the NHS so
• List of witnesses and contact details so people can understand my state of mind - in hindsight they should be able to realise I was planning this
• I need to get my partner away from home with proof he wasn't here when I make my exit. I'm thinking of getting him to go fill up the car with petrol to be on security cameras. I want to ensure he can't be charged or even considered to be charged for assisting my suicide (as he hasn't been)
• Proof of intent through my internet search history, and leaving my 5 last acts book
• I think they'll want access to my phone
• Cancel my bank cards so that no recurring payments can be taken

Question 2: Do I need to do a recording as well so it's clear it's my choice?

Question 3: what have I missed or not considered?

Wow your level of preparation is awe inspiring. I think you are pretty much prepared and can not think of any suggestions.

If i think of something i will let you know.

 

[Worndown]

Most people that plan on staying alive are not this organized. You seem to have everything covered.

 

[outrider567]

Thank you for the feedback and considerations it's really appreciated.

Yes I've chosen nitrogen, I have the last few parts on order - been taking it slowly as I've done the research and reading and deciding.

1. I have no friends except my partner. I have work colleagues but I'm only expecting a small superficial reaction from them. Work will deal with the notifications with whatever messaging they want to layer into that.

2. Good point on filming, I'll add that to my process. I was already thinking that I would choose my garden as my location and put all of the evidence and other information the police would need next to my body. I'm hoping this will reduce the need for the police to enter my home (my partner is high risk from COVID and we've been full shielding with no physical contact in two years unless fully masked and then a full disinfectant process afterwards).

3. Unfortunately I don't have any choice except for my partner to find me. Because I'm in the UK he can't be with me at the end otherwise he'll be complicit. So I have to ensure he's away from the home and with a verifiable alibi. I'd considered whether I could be away from home but we only have one car and for me to move my equipment away from home I'd have to have the car - I'm worried they'd seize it as part of the investigation.

I am also doing Nitrogen---You seem quite well prepared, I wish you the best

 

[TheLastFemaphrodyke]

I am not sure I want to be found. Why become so attended to in death, when I have been so ignored in desolation while alive? Why traumatize some undeserving soul by finding my death? A part of would love to do it while in the custody of the bullies who deserve to be haunted, only those who deserve, would not be bothered, so why even give them the satisfaction?
I love your commitment to organization. I too have no one, not even work colleagues, only my partner, who I need to protect as well. Though I dearly would love to have my ashes made into stones to be placed about, if I leave by my own design, I may choose to just never be found.
Was gone from here for a bit, then yeah, it was all just a joke.

 

[FuneralCry]

It sounds like you are well planned. I also believe in quality of lives over quantity. I see that as being important unlike what society thinks. I hope that you find what you are looking for. Best wishes.

 

[WaitingAllMyLife]

I have a list of things I want to be sure to dispose of such as diaries, bedside table items, old hard drives, etc.

If you have nosy neighbors or mailperson you should be sure to put a hold on mail and newspaper delivery to avoid someone checking in on you.

Possibly a consideration to turn on AC to lowest setting to slow decomposition.

 

[Grav]

Possibly a consideration to turn on AC to lowest setting to slow decomposition.

Along with that I plan on having a large plastic sheet under me with raised edges to catch anything. Not sure if it's still the deal the coroner is just there to get the body, the homeowners/people get to clean up the mess. That was part of my decision to not use a gun. Some areas, probably very few (in the US), may have a card for a cleanup service that specializes in remains, not merry maids or some such.

 

[QuietEnd]

I have a list of things I want to be sure to dispose of such as diaries, bedside table items, old hard drives, etc.

If you have nosy neighbors or mailperson you should be sure to put a hold on mail and newspaper delivery to avoid someone checking in on you.

Possibly a consideration to turn on AC to lowest setting to slow decomposition.

Oh good point on post etc.

I can look up how to register my death, how to contact bank, how to register with organisations so my partner gets less mail. Whilst I can't do this part in advance I can do the research for him and leave simplified instructions.

I can also get my work laptop ready to be collected. If I place it with me then hopefully the police can take it and return it to my company. I don't want my partner to have to deal much with my company, they are a core reason why I'm in this situation - they've demonstrated I can't survive this world and the cruel people in it.

Along with that I plan on having a large plastic sheet under me with raised edges to catch anything. Not sure if it's still the deal the coroner is just there to get the body, the homeowners/people get to clean up the mess. That was part of my decision to not use a gun. Some areas, probably very few (in the US), may have a card for a cleanup service that specializes in remains, not merry maids or some such.

I've decided to use a location outside to reduce the mess clear up. I've also purchased adult diapers which I plan to use in case of my body removing waste. If I reduce how much I eat and drink beforehand I'm hoping they'll be less mess.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm so sorry you are in this situation and it's so caring the lengths you are planning to go to try and protect your loved one. I'm afraid I don't have anything to add to your list but I wanted to wish you well.

 

[vapauttaa]

I'm working towards final preparation to CTB, I believe in quality of life over quantity - and I can no longer create and sustain any quality of life due to my physical health, mental health and the cruelness of people and society.

As I'm into final preparations and I'm leaving behind my partner who I love very very dearly. So I want to make things as simple as I can for him.

To this end I've updated

• I've updated my will, and ensured its registered so it can't be contested
• Pre-paid my funeral
• Identified how my ashes need to be buried
• Working out any memberships or other things that need cancelling
• Ensured he has access to all bank accounts - everything was already shared
• Checked my life insurance policy through work doesn't exclude payment due to suicide (they're refusing to give me full details just general wording)
• Materials for my method - last two things have been ordered
• List of insurance details e.g. home/car
• Contact details to inform my work - I wondered if I could have a predrafted email he could send
• All of my passwords (helped by a recent security issue beyond my control)
• Make sure my partner has food in the house - as I'm the organiser of this aspect of our life
• List of who to use for what household supplies e.g. pet biscuits etc.
• Cancel my bank cards so that no repeating payments can be made without him knowing, it case I forget to cancel anything

Question 1: Can you think of anything else I could prepare?

I want to prepare as much as I can for the suicide investigation to make it as simple as possible. What do I need to consider? So far in my research I've concluded that:

• Leave a suicide note to express intent
• Copies of my medical reports - I've had to self - treat a lot due to the NHS so
• List of witnesses and contact details so people can understand my state of mind - in hindsight they should be able to realise I was planning this
• I need to get my partner away from home with proof he wasn't here when I make my exit. I'm thinking of getting him to go fill up the car with petrol to be on security cameras. I want to ensure he can't be charged or even considered to be charged for assisting my suicide (as he hasn't been)
• Proof of intent through my internet search history, and leaving my 5 last acts book
• I think they'll want access to my phone
• Cancel my bank cards so that no recurring payments can be taken

Question 2: Do I need to do a recording as well so it's clear it's my choice?

Question 3: what have I missed or not considered?

I was thinking of getting a recorder also, as I'm not leaving my phone behind. I gave my laptop and older phone to my partner who is out of state.

Anyhow - you're so thoughtful in your preparation and so kind to leave helpful notes, instructions, etc.

- V

 

[QuietEnd]

Adding to my preparations I'm also:

1. working out what needs to happen with the shared car
2. And find and leave my driving license as in the UK it has to be returned to the DVLA
3. Find and leave my passport as in the UK it has to be returned
4. Leave details of the simple services that can be used to report my death - there's a couple of free services that do the majority of the leg work
5. Leave details of the process for inquest and coroner's process
6. Leave details of a support forum in case he needs it