Help Prayer Beads

[Life_and_Death]

can anyone explain the idea of this. currently religious or not, (unless its a trigger for you, i understand that some parents/places are way too pushy with it )

i got the general idea, its to help with counting, remembering, hold different meanings depending on the beads being used and whatnot.
the part im specifically struggling with is the order of the beads i guess? where to put them?
im trying to make my own. i read that they can be used for prayers, meditation, ect. so i thought maybe i could use it for that, or make some with different shaped beads so it has a textural thing for anxiety

i try googling it but my brain just feels so fried between abuse/MH and drugs so doing anything is overwhelming.
any advice? im wiccan but i dont think any advice from another religion could really lead me in the wrong direction

 

[Life_and_Death]

figured it out. and decided they should be called 'mantra beads'.

i was just about to roll my 3rd joint in 2hrs (after saying yesterday i was going to try to pick myself up today). then finally had an idea on what to make. putting down what i was doing, wasting an hour away from my addiction like youre "suppose to". and then put it aside and continued rolling my joint.

basically saying "ok, i proved my point. im too hurt to care rn though"

under the rare possibility someone is curious what i made, big surprise, i based it off my relationship.
i used mini beads so its small/handheld.

the green ones on either side represent a four leaf clover because i tell him im lucky to have him
the white and black ones represent yin yang because we say we balance each other out
and the orange and purple ones are our favourite colours
the 'manta' i chose was based off a poem i wrote this morning called "this is why i shouldnt" and youll see a coloured set () for each word
and then i figured it would also work for "this is why i should" ex, eat

edit: (part of me feels "you have such a good relationship why do you complain so much". because theres so many different aspects of life and theyre all broken..because the relationships not good...im just trying to hold it together..we are.......)

 

[Life_and_Death]

basically saying "ok, i proved my point. im too hurt to care rn though"

i havent heard from him in over 24hrs.
hey i did this thing for you, but im not seeing much of a reason to use it
the worst part, he left when we were having a conversation where i feel like people dont give a fuck about me/my situation
he doesnt want to hear anything "good" he doesnt want to hear anything bad, so i cant talk to him??
"you have support, just dont involve me"

 

[CPY]

This thread seem peculiar and strange, is everything ok?

I have plenty of those lying around that I have to bring to church sometimes I didn't even know their purpose was to make counting easier another useless regions ritual