Cannedbones
Sing me to sleep
- Mar 14, 2021
- 65
Hi all. I've been practicing partial hanging lately as it is my preferred method to ctb. I haven't been able to find my carotid arteries using my hands or fingers. Nor did I feel dizzy when practicing it with the rope tied to a doorknob over the door.
However, when tied to my closet railing and with my body leaning forward, it seems that the feeling of dizziness comes almost instantly. Am I the only one?
I find it weird that I wasnt able to locate my carotid veins using my hands or a different position but I guess this one is working for me.
Yet, as soon as dizziness comes, I start shaking and I back out immediately. I'll blame it on my SI for now. I can't believe I found a reliable method. I didn't think it'd work. It seems so easy to do now.
Im worried I might not be able to pull out just in time before I pass out but im really tempted to see how far I could last without passing out. The feeling is almost euphoric. I hate SI and I hate that Im worried about my mom and my brother finding me that way. That's the only thing keeping me from ctb at this point. I just feel empty and numb. I just want to disappear. All I can think about all day is practicing and finally being able to ctb. I dont want to be found however. Im also worried if i decided to leave and find a spot to do it, that it might somehow not work and I won't have another method to ctb.
I'm sorry, i just needed to vent and let it out. I'm glad this place exist. I just cant believe it's working. It feels weird knowing that I was able to do something right. I just can't believe it.
However, when tied to my closet railing and with my body leaning forward, it seems that the feeling of dizziness comes almost instantly. Am I the only one?
I find it weird that I wasnt able to locate my carotid veins using my hands or a different position but I guess this one is working for me.
Yet, as soon as dizziness comes, I start shaking and I back out immediately. I'll blame it on my SI for now. I can't believe I found a reliable method. I didn't think it'd work. It seems so easy to do now.
Im worried I might not be able to pull out just in time before I pass out but im really tempted to see how far I could last without passing out. The feeling is almost euphoric. I hate SI and I hate that Im worried about my mom and my brother finding me that way. That's the only thing keeping me from ctb at this point. I just feel empty and numb. I just want to disappear. All I can think about all day is practicing and finally being able to ctb. I dont want to be found however. Im also worried if i decided to leave and find a spot to do it, that it might somehow not work and I won't have another method to ctb.
I'm sorry, i just needed to vent and let it out. I'm glad this place exist. I just cant believe it's working. It feels weird knowing that I was able to do something right. I just can't believe it.