Venting poverty and suicide

[blackIronPrison]

This post is just venting. I don't have any outlets for this sorta thing, sorry if this is posted in the wrong place or not allowed i havent been posting for very long. Maybe this will resonate with some of you.

I've pretty much been in poverty my entire life. My entire childhood was constantly switching from dogshit living situation to situation, getting evicted, then either breaking into somewhere or begging someone to let us stay with them. I tried so fucking hard through education and working hard to escape it but I cant. I'm approaching my late 20's and I have nothing. I'm disabled, alone, zero safety net - social, financial, or otherwise. Every essential aspect of being alive is dependent on how sick I can make myself trying to get to it. I've never been comfortable for even a day in my life. I can see my future clear as day, I know exactly where this is all headed. I need to leave as soon as I can but honestly im just scared and I feel ashamed about it but I'm just so scared I cannot do this anymore. My existence is just a drain on resources I have to figuratively kill myself to get access to. I should not be around.

Class is immutable

get out while you can.