The other night, and for the past two nights, I've been strapping cornhole bags to my throat and wrenching it; the night night method. I know where my carotid is, but can't seem to get a good squeeze on it. I'm not afraid of death, just the transition period, which is why I've bounced between this and SN. I know i'm being too picky but I'd like my death to be as close to painless as possible.
That being said, I did this over and over for hours, trying, adjusting, trying again. At one point I sat next to the bags, a red mark growing on my neck from the friction and pressure. I decided to take a break and take a shower. I stood up far too fast, and I guess the combination of pressure on my jugular (I'm an idiot who kept pressing the wrong artery) I fainted.
Woke up a few moments later and couldn't help but laugh, it was an honest to god laugh. I pictured a short film made several years ago about a man who attempted suicide (I know, what I did wasn't a true 'attempt') only to fail again and again in increasingly comedic ways. I felt like that man in a way. I wasn't going to stop myself if I got to that ledge, but I never got close enough to actually step over, just kept choking myself in my inexperience. I think mostly this was an experiment in locating my carotid, but if I happened to "stumble upon" it then great.
If anyone's got any advice on how to better isolate my carotid I'd really appreciate it.
That being said, I did this over and over for hours, trying, adjusting, trying again. At one point I sat next to the bags, a red mark growing on my neck from the friction and pressure. I decided to take a break and take a shower. I stood up far too fast, and I guess the combination of pressure on my jugular (I'm an idiot who kept pressing the wrong artery) I fainted.
Woke up a few moments later and couldn't help but laugh, it was an honest to god laugh. I pictured a short film made several years ago about a man who attempted suicide (I know, what I did wasn't a true 'attempt') only to fail again and again in increasingly comedic ways. I felt like that man in a way. I wasn't going to stop myself if I got to that ledge, but I never got close enough to actually step over, just kept choking myself in my inexperience. I think mostly this was an experiment in locating my carotid, but if I happened to "stumble upon" it then great.
If anyone's got any advice on how to better isolate my carotid I'd really appreciate it.
