Porn makes depression worse

[CallmeWill4719]

For awhile I had a porn addiction and I had to stop because I got so tired of seeing such happy couples or friends or whatever they were. Feeling like I'm never going to have that ever was just making my depression so much worse. It's been about a month since I stopped but I still have images burned in my head. Soul crushing alone this is an absolute killer. I'm not even sure if this post even qualifies as off topic because it's a major reason why I am so suicidal.

 

[vercabow]

i'm in the same exact boat as your man.

from a young age i was completely sexually desensitived. my parents played a massive part in it. i wouldn't call them sexual abusive, but i don't really know how else to describe them. when i was 5-7 she would "joke" around with me into touching her tits, joking that she'd call the police or something. i didn't even know what i was doing was wrong at the time, i just thought it was something everyone did. they've always been really sexually open with my siblings and i, to the point where there wasn't any filter in what they said. the times i spoke out about being uncomfortable were met with "it's not like we want to fuck you right? we were just joking", word for word.

on top of this i was exposed to porn at a very young age, at around 8 i think. in my early teen years, i was friends with a lot of adults who felt that sharing porn with minors was okay.

all of this desentized me so much and im so fucking sick of it. i feel like such a disgusting piece of shit for not feeling repulsed at somethings. i don't want to be such a pervert. at this point i feel like im going to hurt someone just because i can't FEEL that somethings are wrong. some days i just wish i could erase my libido and call it a day.

porn addiction has made me into a disgusting piece of shit and i'm tired of acting like it isn't. i hope you and i find some way out of this, either by ctb or something else.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

when i was 5-7 she would "joke" around with me into touching her tits, joking that she'd call the police or something.

Jesus Christ, your mother (and father) are fucking nasty.