[Poll] Would you say that the internet contributed to your suicidal ideation?

[l.a557]

I just bombed psychiatry, I don't wanna talk about it right now, but it did lead me to think about how I ended up so closed off with my feelings. My friends and family have always listened to my problems and are willing to give advice and comfort me when I need it, but I'd still actually rather jump in traffic than talk about my feelings. I've been an avid user of the internet since I got my phone at 10, so the internet practically raised me, and one thing I've seen over and over again online is that when someone's vulnerable, they either get ridiculed or taken advantage of, or both. Moreover, being emotional/vulnerable is cringe, and the worst thing you can be online is cringe. People feel like they have the reigns to go in on you if you're even slightly cringe, and at that point you're not even a person anymore, you're just something that deserves to be laughed at. I've been exposed to this mentality for so long that I think I've just internalized it, I'm deathly afraid I'll have my head bitten off if I say anything at all about how I'm feeling.

 

[yukiovos]

Not even the slightest.

Its my own decision that hasn't been influenced by anything

 

[ihatemyselfsomuch]

I think without the internet I would be a lot more content living a boring and totally disappointing life as I would have less to compare it to.

Maybe I also would've done more to try and be less isolated as I wouldn't have the "fake socialisation" the internet provides which somewhat compensates for being totally alone.

 

[dragonofenvy]

No. It helped keep me sane. It's the only reason that I have any social interaction at all and gave me some forms of entertainment to pass the time rather than just staring at the wall and feeling miserable.

 

[Michi_Violeta]

Not really. If anything, I've found support and like minded people who are also suffering. Finding good information on methods, rather than contributing to my ideation, has helped me postpone the decision because it helped me realize the difficulty in planning and executing an effective and painless suicide. I would've probably had a failed attempt already out of sheer ignorance on a good method and that would've had a worse outcome than me being dead.

 

[F@#$]

I've wanted to die since before the internet.

 

[Namelesa]

I wouldn't say the internet has effected my suicidalness at all as it's given me a way to entertain myself and talk to others that are more likely to understand me (mostly this website) as well as useful information to help with my game development. Without it I would be even more bored of life and be more alone.

 

[Arin]

Not at all - if anything, it's reduced it. When I was a young teenager I was entirely friendless, alone, being beaten up at school, and no-one cared or gave a shit about me in the real world. I was very close to suicide. The internet allowed me to find the company and friendship I hadn't been able to have in real life. I joined one Minecraft server in particular and the sense of community, trust, and companionship I got from it singlehandedly saved my life at that point. I had nothing in real life - my parents had failed me, the school was ignoring the assaults and harassment, my peers were the main ones perpetrating the abuse - but the people from that Minecraft server cared for me and respected me more than anyone I've ever known in the real world. They were there for me when my family wasn't, and I ended up deciding not to CTB for the time being at that age since I wanted to continue to connect with all the people I'd met and talked with online. They provided more support for me than any living human being has done.

In the end, exams caught up with me and I was forced to distance myself from the online world. I threw myself into studying, trying to prove I was the best, that I was capable, that I could get the grades I wanted. I ended up getting straight-As, some of the best grades my school had ever seen. It fucking destroyed me. In order to get that done, I'd separated myself from the only community capable of and willing to help me. I was left burnt out and more isolated than ever. If I'd stayed connected to the people who loved and cared for me, and spent less time obsessing over grades and studying, I would be in a much better position than I am in currently. I'm not saying it would've saved me, but I certainly would have been supported and cared for.

For anyone reading this, it is not a good idea to cut off genuine sources of support and care (whatever they may be) in order to prioritise doing well academically or career-wise. It destroyed me and I regret it immensely. Good grades and a promotion are not worth destroying your mental health over. If the internet is helping you cope, then don't cut off your only source of support.

 

[l.a557]

any body who relates to me please comment on the thread

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

0 Contribution.... The shittyness of life has done that.

 

[Panta Rhei]

No. If you study history, you will find that life was always messed up, even before the internet.

 

[l.a557]

No. If you study history, you will find that life was always messed up, even before the internet.

What does history have to do with this? I never mentioned history, this isn't a peer-reviewed essay

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I do understand what you mean about the internet. Trolls are everywhere. I guess I don't care anymore.
Even if someone attacked me on here (my safe place) I would most likely ignore them.
That is just me though. Most of the people on here are kind. If they aren't, they will usually get kicked off.
Other sites.... Not so much. I guess I don't care anymore. A + of being suicidal ???
I'm not on Facebook or X .... On purpose. I haven't tried Bluesky. It's supposed to be better. I don't know.

 

[Reflection]

A bit of a reach to blame it on the internet but I was harrassed via social media by one of my ex gf's friends who greatly contributed to the downfall of our relationship which in turn led to me being here.

 

[JesiBel]

No, on the contrary, the Internet is another way of escaping and distracting from reality.

Even today, AI can be used to pass the time or feel "accompanied." At least for now, they are programmed to always respond with nice things lol

 

[cme-dme]

I would most likely be even more isolated than I already am without the internet. I have nobody to talk to IRL but I do at least have some online friends.

 

[NonEssential]

Nah. The internet is a nice distraction from the real world. Also if the internet didn't exist I would have no friends at all.

 

[l.a557]

Glad you guys are hunky dory. It hasn't even been 24 hours and I already saw something that makes me want to rip my hir out. fuck this shit. If i don't kill myself first i'll probably kill someone else

 

[human909]

I probably would say no, since the internet is one of the reason that distract me from the chaos around the real world.

 

[heroine]

I mean yeah, but I'd be even more suicidal without it. so

 

[G000pie]

I think the only thing is just constant exposure to bad news. Humans weren't made to hear about so many awful things 24/7

 

[Forever Sleep]

Not really but then, the internet wasn't really around so prominently when I was growing up. I was maybe in my 20's when I started to rely on it. I'm a comparative dinosaur to many members here- at 45.

I do wonder about the impact of social media in particular on people growing up. To be in such fierce competition (it seems to me) with others.

 

[Adûnâi]

This question is somewhat well-intentioned, but rather meaningless for my case because I've never had a life outside online circles. Or at least ever since finishing high school. So cyberspace is everything to me - Trump wins, I celebrate, Assad loses, I get grumpy. Baudrillard would be proud. Hyper-reality.

Honestly, the Internet has given me a proper option for suicide, BUT at the same time, without the Internet I would have likely long since killed myself. But then again, maybe without the Internet I would have had social relationships? In the glorious Soviet Union of Leonidas Brejnev? Who knows. Hella complex.

No. It helped keep me sane. It's the only reason that I have any social interaction at all

This is huge. One of the few things that trigger me at all is the sentiment of withholding technology from children. I might not have grown into an autistic retard had I had access to Facebook at the ripe age of 8. In reality, I never talked to my peers at all, but with social media, I might have started to chat with them naturally.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Nope. Not Internet. Just plain old life and its circumstances is to blame for my depression/suicidality.

 

[OptingOutSmiling]

While the internet has no place in my reason for being suicidal, it has helped me to remain suicidal, if that makes sense. Without the internet, I would've been clueless as to methods. And depending on my mood and circumstances, support groups/social media can really help to reinforce my decision to proceed in my plan to ctb. Without internet, I would just be lost, suicidal or not. Even on my good days, with suicidal thoughts in the back of my mind, I turn to the internet to visit suicide-related sites (such as this one) for support. I'm not complaining about this though, I guess I see the internet as a comfort and aide in support of whatever I choose to use it for.

 

[Promised Heaven]

It made things a bit worse, but I was strongly desiring to die before I was old enough to get social media.

Many years ago I did cut myself once over a devastating online friendship breakup and still have the scars though, and I've impulsively said I wanted to CTB over things happening on the Internet, but my sole reason for wanting to CTB has always been a mix of sexual abuse and mental health trauma.

 

[LostLily]

If anything , finding this site is fighting my suicidal ideation because it makes me feel less alone and less broken

 

[ShatteredSerenity]

My suicidal thoughts were caused the breakdown of my marriage and mental illness, the internet didn't have anything to do with it. I have used this site and other online sources to find a method and prepare to CTB, so it certainly has played some role in planning suicide.