Poll: how many of you have disclosed suicidal intent to those around you?

[Rhizomorph1]

[reposting from recovery thread to see how responses vary on this section of the forum]

I recently disclosed to my family and friends and found it wasn't as bad as I thought. Nobody locked me up in a psych ward, I'm just getting a lot of emotional support. I still feel empowered to ctb if I wish, but now I know I can say goodbye to the people I love if I needed. I also feel there is more medical and emotional support if I want to live.

I feel really strongly that nobody should have to suffer alone, and wish everyone could feel safe and comfortable disclosing. I think feeling safe and being transparent improves people's ability to make informed choices rather than being coerced into suicide by loneliness and insecurity re: suicide.

Obviously millage will vary and many cannot safely disclose, but I'm curious how many of you have disclosed? Why or why not?

 

[mortuarymary]

Because my partner was in the doctors with me when I said it.

 

[straydog]

I'm really glad to hear you're receiving support and love instead of being shunned and locked away. It sounds like you're surrounded by people who truly care. Please cherish them and try to let them cherish you. Your life is still yours to do with whatever you wish.

I haven't disclosed. I don't think I will. I'm too scared of the consequences; I've been in psych wards before (not for active suicidal ideation though) and I don't want to do it again. I also don't want to burden my loved ones more than I already have. I wish I could tell someone but it's personally not worth the risk.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Only to friends when I got the impression they felt the same way. And only that I had thoughts, not a plan and, not recently.

I wouldn't tell either friends or family now because I'm not interested in 'recovery'. There isn't anything they could do to help me. So- I don't want to give them the worry or responsibility. Plus, I feel like there would be more guilt involved on their side if they try for a bit to help, start to peter-out in their efforts- which seems inevitable and then, I do it. If they had the knowledge to begin with that I was 'at risk', I imagine the potential guilt of 'not doing enough' would be worse. This way- by not knowing, they wouldn't have known to act.

 

[deedeme]

I have disclosed, but in the past (10 years ago). Things have changed since then, apparently my mindset didn't change and at the moment no one knows about it.

 

[whywere]

This poll was easy for me, as besides everyone here, I have no family. loved ones or friends.

If I did, hell, I would tell them all.

Walter

 

[FuneralCry]

No, my wish to die is nothing to do with other people anyway, it's just my personal feelings towards existence.

 

[cold_severance]

family/schoolmates/colleagues and to therapists, though indirect. no one cared ever, like as if i never said anything.

 

[TAW122]

I have not disclosed my wishes to die, nor plans to anyone because I simply couldn't risk being locked up against my will, interrogated and probed for potential risk, or any unsavory consequences that may come from it. And also definitely NOT with any mandated reporters (people who are legally as well as ethically required by their profession/organization to report such situations).

Also, I'm glad to hear that you have the support and understanding from people in your life. It feels good to be empowered knowing that such people will understand and perhaps respect your decision whenever the time comes.

 

[DearMe]

I have never disclosed it to anyone for that matter. However, I do think that a few people have caught on. They're just not certain enough if what I'm thinking is a serious thought.

 

[BlackMoon]

I disclosed it before knowing SaSu because I was too tired to have this burden all alone. I just wanted to feel understood by somebody. It was a mistake sadly.

 

[rozeske]

I am honestly shocked by the number of 'I have disclosed' votes.

 

[Doombox]

I've known people who were so miserable that I would not have been surprised if they'd ctb. But if a hypothetical friend or family member came to me and told me straight up that they had plans to ctb, I would feel morally and possibly even legally obligated to alert authorities. I think what's great about this board is we can talk to each other anonymously.

 

[Abyssal]

I have told one person a bit about my suicidal feelings and why a few days ago, but they were with me for a past attempt in a hospital so it's nothing new. They are in denial because I traumatized them last time so I might as well have never reached out at all.

A select few others who remember my last attempt have reached out to tell me they care, but I haven't said anything about my current plans. Not sure if they suspect anything.

 

[migimortis]

No because they will endlessly guilt trip me and shame me for wanting to do such a thing. It ends up being more about their feelings than your own. When I'm ready I won't fail and no one will stop me.

 

[wCvML2]

The two times I disclosed it I got locked up in a psych ward against my will (it's officially written down as voluntary but the system is manipulative).

 

[Peerless_Cucumber]

I've been suicidal for 8 years. 5,5 years ago I told people and 3,5 years ago I survived an attempt so everyone knew. At first people cared until I attempted. Then I was locked up and people called me egoistic. Now no one cares anymore.

 

[marabellasol]

I originally told only 2 friends and they kept telling people like their parents and now too many people know! :-)

 

[ceilng_tile]

I have disclosed to my wife, some friends and family members, my therapist, and my psychiatrist.

The people who care about me don't want me to do it. My therapist and my psychiatrist have tried to talk me out of it but they can't fix the problem that is making me suicidal in the first place, so it's pretty useless. They haven't tried to institutionalize me because they know it would just make things worse and delay the inevitable.

 

[dggtscccvfd]

I have disclosed to my family. It's worth clarifying at the moment that my reason for wanting to CTB is physical (I have a problem with my breathing) hence those around are more sympathetic than they might be if I simply had depression. The respect runs so deep that my mother hasn't taken my SN off me despite finding out about it. I think she knows I'm suffering so should I decide to CTB, she'd sympathise. My therapists also all know about my CTB plans and the SN. To their credit they haven't proposed taking the SN away.

 

[bridge-walking]

some of my family know because of an attempt like 5years ago but they dont suspect anything now and i wont tell them because it wont be good if i do. everyone thinks my life is going good and i am happy but i just havent been honest with anyone. just deciding on my method now and then i will catch my bus when i am ready in the next couple weeks

 

[obei]

I

[reposting from recovery thread to see how responses vary on this section of the forum]

I recently disclosed to my family and friends and found it wasn't as bad as I thought. Nobody locked me up in a psych ward, I'm just getting a lot of emotional support. I still feel empowered to ctb if I wish, but now I know I can say goodbye to the people I love if I needed. I also feel there is more medical and emotional support if I want to live.

I feel really strongly that nobody should have to suffer alone, and wish everyone could feel safe and comfortable disclosing. I think feeling safe and being transparent improves people's ability to make informed choices rather than being coerced into suicide by loneliness and insecurity re: suicide.

Obviously millage will vary and many cannot safely disclose, but I'm curious how many of you have disclosed? Why or why not?

fucking have.
And nobody. Does. Anything. About. It.
My therapist knows, my family knows… well thats it, since I dont have many friends aside from one good friend who cant really help.

 

[Trakehner]

I have and I regret it daily.

 

[dggtscccvfd]

I have and I regret it daily.

Who did you disclose to? Close family? Therapists?

 

[loslassen]

[reposting from recovery thread to see how responses vary on this section of the forum]

I recently disclosed to my family and friends and found it wasn't as bad as I thought. Nobody locked me up in a psych ward, I'm just getting a lot of emotional support. I still feel empowered to ctb if I wish, but now I know I can say goodbye to the people I love if I needed. I also feel there is more medical and emotional support if I want to live.

I feel really strongly that nobody should have to suffer alone, and wish everyone could feel safe and comfortable disclosing. I think feeling safe and being transparent improves people's ability to make informed choices rather than being coerced into suicide by loneliness and insecurity re: suicide.

Obviously millage will vary and many cannot safely disclose, but I'm curious how many of you have disclosed? Why or why not?

I would like to, but I'm afraid it would make me more vulnerable to people's words and actions since I am pretty powerless, Im barely an "adult" so a lot could happen without my consent and just my parents' decisions. I'm very limited, and I have a hunch and defensive mechanism that I prefer to trust than to open up about something like my suicidal intent. truth is I can't take my chances, or things might worsen and I might lose my freedom and safety of being alone.

 

[UKscotty]

Bad idea telling people unless you want recovery. I can't see anything good that can come from telling.

 

[SoulWhisperer]

Personally I don't think I'd take that great benefit from it except people butting in, so I'd rather keep it to myself for as much as I can,

 

[onbekend]

Made a thread myself about this very same topic some time ago, and my answer is still no.
I came close to confessing up a couple times, mostly under stressful circumstances. On a few occasions a family member came across evidence
that would suggest I was going to CTB, such as a note I was considering writing (I've decided at this point there's no point in even really writing a note),
and my research on several methods, But I guess I must be a decent liar because my lies seemed to convince them otherwise.

I could tell them, but after the last time a family member had told everyone before they attempted to CTB, everyone's on high alert now and they'll pretty much immediately throw me in a psyche ward just like they did with that particular family member.

 

[brokeandbroken]

I have. Hell I've done a couple of tours in the psych ward for it... You learn very quickly that psychiatrists don't give a flying fuck about suicidal people... You won't get better in the psych ward...

 

[throneofdispair03]

I'm on the younger side and I'm not stable enough to move out of my parent's house, so they'll throw me in the loony bin if I make advances to tell them. Heck, If my parents see me cut one more time I'll get sent there :\