alizee
Arcanist
- Jul 22, 2018
- 452
Hi all,
I'm writing here for shared thoughts and because all you are very kind from what's observable.
I've been trying to seek medical assisted suicide for the psychological illness of gender dysphoria. I haven't had much luck here in Canada but I could obtain it in Switzerland. Yet, I wouldn't have the funds for several months to maybe even a year and life has been increasingly unbearable. There is the possibility the law will make doctors here in Canada become more willing in 6 months from a major court case last month. In any case I'm attempting to pursue suicide on my own.
So here is the story: I've become aware recently to how my subconscious desire is dying while by a person who is professionally required to alert authority of a suicide attempt in progress. Simply this person is in the medical field and who has "been there" in a sense for me. I feel this person would be okay with me dying but professionally would have to report it. This person is really the only one in my life that I've considered a friend. I've been betrayed by this person as well but in a way that didn't really matter to me. The added value is this person is a doctor who is also aware of myself having written & singing advanced medical directive in regarding I don't wish to be hooked up to anything preventing me from dying.
Thus making me think of the method of poison hemlock and how the great philosopher died. The plant if consumed correctly will result in the inability to breathe. I've ordered enough of it in the form of seeds "22 to 100 g in a 60 kg adult" for fatality. I purchased over 100g from different sellers and to confirm authentic by comparison. It was fairly cheap but I do have money from being employed. Time of death is an unknown and can take awhile but I'm really uncertain how long from what little is confirmable online. The thing is pain or length doesn't matter. I've been beaten up awhile ago where I was required to be on morphine for over a week in intensive care. I don't really care much about pain anymore. Anyway I'm curious about thoughts and if anyone else really desires to die by someone.
I'm writing here for shared thoughts and because all you are very kind from what's observable.
I've been trying to seek medical assisted suicide for the psychological illness of gender dysphoria. I haven't had much luck here in Canada but I could obtain it in Switzerland. Yet, I wouldn't have the funds for several months to maybe even a year and life has been increasingly unbearable. There is the possibility the law will make doctors here in Canada become more willing in 6 months from a major court case last month. In any case I'm attempting to pursue suicide on my own.
So here is the story: I've become aware recently to how my subconscious desire is dying while by a person who is professionally required to alert authority of a suicide attempt in progress. Simply this person is in the medical field and who has "been there" in a sense for me. I feel this person would be okay with me dying but professionally would have to report it. This person is really the only one in my life that I've considered a friend. I've been betrayed by this person as well but in a way that didn't really matter to me. The added value is this person is a doctor who is also aware of myself having written & singing advanced medical directive in regarding I don't wish to be hooked up to anything preventing me from dying.
Thus making me think of the method of poison hemlock and how the great philosopher died. The plant if consumed correctly will result in the inability to breathe. I've ordered enough of it in the form of seeds "22 to 100 g in a 60 kg adult" for fatality. I purchased over 100g from different sellers and to confirm authentic by comparison. It was fairly cheap but I do have money from being employed. Time of death is an unknown and can take awhile but I'm really uncertain how long from what little is confirmable online. The thing is pain or length doesn't matter. I've been beaten up awhile ago where I was required to be on morphine for over a week in intensive care. I don't really care much about pain anymore. Anyway I'm curious about thoughts and if anyone else really desires to die by someone.