Dead beat dad
Enlightened
- Mar 5, 2019
- 1,030
I'm alone in the house.
It is freezing. I'm huddled under a blanket, when I get up, I take the blanket with me over my head like some discount Scooby Doo villian.
I've tried to do some work, there is stuff to do, but just finding the will is so hard.
I want to go to the garage. After what feels like a long time I get the impetus to go. I want to play with my noose, but I can't find it as the joint is packed to the rafters with junk.
I sigh resigned, there will be a tomorrow.
Laying down listening to the soft rain outside some sort of comfort returns, the odd car passes along the wet road, college kids pass in a small group.
This is life; the rain, the cars, the college kids.
I am a ghost; invisible under my blanket, both loving and loathing my anonymous misery.
The college kids laugh, an excited, adolescent song, not quite innocent but more of; 'Im finding my own way in this world and I'm enjoying it at this moment' kind of laugh. I hope for them.
I haven't laughed in this house since I can remember, the only thing I remember is tiredness, underpinned with cowardice.
There will be a tomorrow, a pointless tomorrow, like the pointless today and yesterday.
DBD
Tl;Dr: you haven't missed anything, if anything you've saved time
It is freezing. I'm huddled under a blanket, when I get up, I take the blanket with me over my head like some discount Scooby Doo villian.
I've tried to do some work, there is stuff to do, but just finding the will is so hard.
I want to go to the garage. After what feels like a long time I get the impetus to go. I want to play with my noose, but I can't find it as the joint is packed to the rafters with junk.
I sigh resigned, there will be a tomorrow.
Laying down listening to the soft rain outside some sort of comfort returns, the odd car passes along the wet road, college kids pass in a small group.
This is life; the rain, the cars, the college kids.
I am a ghost; invisible under my blanket, both loving and loathing my anonymous misery.
The college kids laugh, an excited, adolescent song, not quite innocent but more of; 'Im finding my own way in this world and I'm enjoying it at this moment' kind of laugh. I hope for them.
I haven't laughed in this house since I can remember, the only thing I remember is tiredness, underpinned with cowardice.
There will be a tomorrow, a pointless tomorrow, like the pointless today and yesterday.
DBD
Tl;Dr: you haven't missed anything, if anything you've saved time
