SpiderLink
they/them
- Apr 3, 2023
- 354
It's been awhile since I've posted on here, been playing a lot of video games to just kill time, my birthday passed a couple weeks ago. Whenever my birthday comes around it's always "another year wasted of feeling the same way". But I wanna share some poetry and I hope u enjoy it….
Construction crushed:
My life is a construction site, constantly at work.
Alongside my crew.
My building has crashed.
I've never heard a bang so loud.
These ears will never forget the sound.
My eyes soak in the debris of smoke.
Sight has been damaged.
I inhale the smell, hard to breathe.
I wore no protection, with a cost I cannot pay off.
My site was built to fall apart from the start.
Building materials, have been destroyed from rumble.
I can't repair damage that's been made.
My crew has left, gave up on my site.
Tried to repair all the damage, on my own. Instead of a helping hand.
Attempted to move remains, failure on my palms.
A mistake stained on my skin.
I tried to build back, fix what has fell apart.
How could I, if there's left for repair?
Cant resemple pieces and give strength I once had.
Modavation left my grasp, how can I get it back?
My life lost land value, means nothing to me now.
Inside my head is a crane, but depression taken over.
The hook carries a structure of insecurities.
Thoughts are the wire, giving strength to the hook lifting this painful load.
Depression refuses to let go.
Cant control machine, depression in charge.
Trapped inside, without a way down.
Key nowhere to be found.
I pound for sound, no one can hear.
Glass won't break, if broken… how would I safely land?
Site and crane, places I don't want to be.
All I can do, is watch.
Look at the structure, will this be let down?
Stare at the site, can I get back on the ground?
Tattooed Brain:
Tattoos inked on brain.
Locations are known to me.
Artist keeps bolding over.
Needles repeating, pain never pauses.
Tattoos, meant to be beautiful.
Expressing a side of you.
That no words have to.
This art, your eyes can't admire.
I have to draw the words, to get you to see.
To view the broken pieces in me.
Failure as vine.
Deep inside my root brain.
Spreading as I've grown.
Will it grow on my skin, not speak for them?
Worthless as puzzle.
Pieces gone missing.
Like a detective, that cannot solve the case.
Will the pieces be found, outside of my brain?
Burden as shards of glass.
Sharp when spoken.
Pointy end, when I finish a sentence.
Will shards stop leaving marks?
Pain as knife.
Cut inside, from my mind.
Blood stained.
Will inner wound heal?
Broken as car.
Can't start, no gas of motivation.
Only operational thing, a radio of inner dialogue.
Will this tank refill?
Loneliness as screw.
Extra part, tossed aside.
Collecting dust.
Will I be noticed?
Numb as line.
Flat, dead with no heart.
No beat of emotion.
Will I feel again?
Shame as wave.
Skirkes, too late to pull breaks.
Hits can't counter attack.
Will the impacts cease?
Suicidal as hand.
From the depths of sand.
Sinking for death.
Will someone take my hand?
Tattoos on brain.
Representing pain.
Bolded reminders of shame.
From the artist named Depression..
Graffitied wall of pain.
Chained up by silence has me quiet.
Spray painted from an artist named Depression.
Hostage:
Hostage in my head.
Chained up with strength.
Of how much I hate myself.
Holds me down, strapped by insecurities.
My hands caught in the amount of chains.
Tape zipped my lips, no words can speak out.
Trapped in my soul, that's never a stable home.
Why can't I be free, from this hell I've known?
Stuck in this pattern, of the same routine.
Days continue to blend together.
In a chair, I sit in discomfort of despair.
I can't help but wonder, will I be like this forever?
Will I ever release myself?
From an internal house arrest, I call this.
Hopelessness crawled into my skin.
I've seen it spread within.
Hopelessness is so itchy, but I can't scratch it.
I can no longer live being captured inside my head.
I've never seen death up close.
I haven't been this positive.
I walk on its edge.
An opportunity I don't want to miss.
A fall that'll kill, but release me.
I can finally rest, with a noose around my neck.
Death I'm coming close, I'm ready to say hello.
Vampires Within:
Vampire lives in my caged skull, drinks my blood.
Left me in a flood, I'm flowing out tears of blood.
I'm a fresh drink for Vampire, now overly hydrated.
Strength of this vampire, still remains.
Yet here I lay alone completely drained.
I'm becoming numb, no feelings left in this body.
Days pass, suns too bright.
I fear light, so I stay inside.
I tried to unlock door, searching for answers of hope.
I tried to regain what I've bled, it's never in sight.
I tightly lock mouth shut, so no one thinks I'm home.
Vampire is Depression, my blood is almost gone….
Should I let the vampire finish the job? Or should I drain it myself?
Dull:
Life no longer has point.
Led of my will, is running lower.
I can't take another day getting older.
When everything in me is so dull.
I've drawn enough, that there's nothing left to write.
Will I EVER find a sharpener, and find meaning?
I've pushed the pencil on my sheet too hard.
I can't erase these thoughts.
Or drag whiteout on top.
But the thought of hope, was lighten written.
My thumb easily got rid of it.
Depression spilled paint over the good in life.
Left to dry, with nothing left to try.
Now I'm ready to die.
Untitled:
Walking down a lonely road.
My brain stalked from the bleachers.
Waiting until my pain was a red card.
In a vulnerable state, from the plays I've made. My brain decided to stab me in my back.
Was it always a trap?
A brain, meant to protect but went against protocol.
My brain fleed, and left me bleed.
These wounds are still open, cause it's never really gone.
I let my blood boil, until I got suicidal.
The heat of it, made me sweat in shame.
I said I wanted to get buried, from a smack of an oncoming car.
Cause I couldn't try and walk with the pain anymore.
No crutch from a friend, could hold my ground.
I still stand with a regret, that I got help too late.
I bled and sank like the titanic.
I'm tired of trying to find a patch, to cover up my back.
Suicide Proposed:
Suicide proposed to me.
Gave me a ring, that looked like a noose.
All I could say was yes.
When I'm on my death bed.
I trust you enough, to pull my plug.
Or when I want to swing onto a noose,
I trust you'll hold me up.
I want to divorce this life.
I'm sick of the abuse I'm put through,
I'm punched from the words of others.
I've been wiped by my thoughts.
Wounds and bruises, have stayed with me from the start.
Suicide, I fantasize you.
Just a dream to come true!
Suicide is free.
Not a chance to flee.
You may disagree, I guarantee.
Don't be the referee.
Cannot live on my knees.
Suicides my key…
Hope you liked them:)
Construction crushed:
My life is a construction site, constantly at work.
Alongside my crew.
My building has crashed.
I've never heard a bang so loud.
These ears will never forget the sound.
My eyes soak in the debris of smoke.
Sight has been damaged.
I inhale the smell, hard to breathe.
I wore no protection, with a cost I cannot pay off.
My site was built to fall apart from the start.
Building materials, have been destroyed from rumble.
I can't repair damage that's been made.
My crew has left, gave up on my site.
Tried to repair all the damage, on my own. Instead of a helping hand.
Attempted to move remains, failure on my palms.
A mistake stained on my skin.
I tried to build back, fix what has fell apart.
How could I, if there's left for repair?
Cant resemple pieces and give strength I once had.
Modavation left my grasp, how can I get it back?
My life lost land value, means nothing to me now.
Inside my head is a crane, but depression taken over.
The hook carries a structure of insecurities.
Thoughts are the wire, giving strength to the hook lifting this painful load.
Depression refuses to let go.
Cant control machine, depression in charge.
Trapped inside, without a way down.
Key nowhere to be found.
I pound for sound, no one can hear.
Glass won't break, if broken… how would I safely land?
Site and crane, places I don't want to be.
All I can do, is watch.
Look at the structure, will this be let down?
Stare at the site, can I get back on the ground?
Tattooed Brain:
Tattoos inked on brain.
Locations are known to me.
Artist keeps bolding over.
Needles repeating, pain never pauses.
Tattoos, meant to be beautiful.
Expressing a side of you.
That no words have to.
This art, your eyes can't admire.
I have to draw the words, to get you to see.
To view the broken pieces in me.
Failure as vine.
Deep inside my root brain.
Spreading as I've grown.
Will it grow on my skin, not speak for them?
Worthless as puzzle.
Pieces gone missing.
Like a detective, that cannot solve the case.
Will the pieces be found, outside of my brain?
Burden as shards of glass.
Sharp when spoken.
Pointy end, when I finish a sentence.
Will shards stop leaving marks?
Pain as knife.
Cut inside, from my mind.
Blood stained.
Will inner wound heal?
Broken as car.
Can't start, no gas of motivation.
Only operational thing, a radio of inner dialogue.
Will this tank refill?
Loneliness as screw.
Extra part, tossed aside.
Collecting dust.
Will I be noticed?
Numb as line.
Flat, dead with no heart.
No beat of emotion.
Will I feel again?
Shame as wave.
Skirkes, too late to pull breaks.
Hits can't counter attack.
Will the impacts cease?
Suicidal as hand.
From the depths of sand.
Sinking for death.
Will someone take my hand?
Tattoos on brain.
Representing pain.
Bolded reminders of shame.
From the artist named Depression..
Graffitied wall of pain.
Chained up by silence has me quiet.
Spray painted from an artist named Depression.
Hostage:
Hostage in my head.
Chained up with strength.
Of how much I hate myself.
Holds me down, strapped by insecurities.
My hands caught in the amount of chains.
Tape zipped my lips, no words can speak out.
Trapped in my soul, that's never a stable home.
Why can't I be free, from this hell I've known?
Stuck in this pattern, of the same routine.
Days continue to blend together.
In a chair, I sit in discomfort of despair.
I can't help but wonder, will I be like this forever?
Will I ever release myself?
From an internal house arrest, I call this.
Hopelessness crawled into my skin.
I've seen it spread within.
Hopelessness is so itchy, but I can't scratch it.
I can no longer live being captured inside my head.
I've never seen death up close.
I haven't been this positive.
I walk on its edge.
An opportunity I don't want to miss.
A fall that'll kill, but release me.
I can finally rest, with a noose around my neck.
Death I'm coming close, I'm ready to say hello.
Vampires Within:
Vampire lives in my caged skull, drinks my blood.
Left me in a flood, I'm flowing out tears of blood.
I'm a fresh drink for Vampire, now overly hydrated.
Strength of this vampire, still remains.
Yet here I lay alone completely drained.
I'm becoming numb, no feelings left in this body.
Days pass, suns too bright.
I fear light, so I stay inside.
I tried to unlock door, searching for answers of hope.
I tried to regain what I've bled, it's never in sight.
I tightly lock mouth shut, so no one thinks I'm home.
Vampire is Depression, my blood is almost gone….
Should I let the vampire finish the job? Or should I drain it myself?
Dull:
Life no longer has point.
Led of my will, is running lower.
I can't take another day getting older.
When everything in me is so dull.
I've drawn enough, that there's nothing left to write.
Will I EVER find a sharpener, and find meaning?
I've pushed the pencil on my sheet too hard.
I can't erase these thoughts.
Or drag whiteout on top.
But the thought of hope, was lighten written.
My thumb easily got rid of it.
Depression spilled paint over the good in life.
Left to dry, with nothing left to try.
Now I'm ready to die.
Untitled:
Walking down a lonely road.
My brain stalked from the bleachers.
Waiting until my pain was a red card.
In a vulnerable state, from the plays I've made. My brain decided to stab me in my back.
Was it always a trap?
A brain, meant to protect but went against protocol.
My brain fleed, and left me bleed.
These wounds are still open, cause it's never really gone.
I let my blood boil, until I got suicidal.
The heat of it, made me sweat in shame.
I said I wanted to get buried, from a smack of an oncoming car.
Cause I couldn't try and walk with the pain anymore.
No crutch from a friend, could hold my ground.
I still stand with a regret, that I got help too late.
I bled and sank like the titanic.
I'm tired of trying to find a patch, to cover up my back.
Suicide Proposed:
Suicide proposed to me.
Gave me a ring, that looked like a noose.
All I could say was yes.
When I'm on my death bed.
I trust you enough, to pull my plug.
Or when I want to swing onto a noose,
I trust you'll hold me up.
I want to divorce this life.
I'm sick of the abuse I'm put through,
I'm punched from the words of others.
I've been wiped by my thoughts.
Wounds and bruises, have stayed with me from the start.
Suicide, I fantasize you.
Just a dream to come true!
Suicide is free.
Not a chance to flee.
You may disagree, I guarantee.
Don't be the referee.
Cannot live on my knees.
Suicides my key…
Hope you liked them:)
