arsenic in my coffee
black brain bleeds out on this parchment
smoke, smoke
heart pumps just to keep it all in
fingers dirty and tinged
father i've disappointed you
the tinkling of rusty keys
upon your doorstep
water kindling underneath my feet
this chartreuse bed is warm, so is your naivety
i've taken it all for granted
i took it all in
took too much of your selflessness
what happened to this little buttercup
you ask one day
sleeping amid the honeysuckles
the light crossing your eyelid sheets
everything changed since the day
mother became high
her black worn appendages became mine
her heart was the same; so was mine
shadowed men watch me
sleep under the glaring hospital stars
has anyone loved me yet
for surviving for too long
has anyone wanted me
for what they only see
and know there isn't much
more than they can take
you have a phoenix underneath the stove
blue flames ignite my cure
a rusty key becomes this sordid weapon
your medicine cabinet and spoons
are all brown like seepage
burn, ashes i shall become father,
burn