Venting Please let me die

[Suicideroomwannadie]

I have access to zolpidem/ambien stillnox i have heard that with alcohol can be deadly..iam thinking about to go with alcohol and zolpidem to bath and then drown...or i can go to jump under the train..i just cant stand life anymore i had 3 psychotic breaks through my lifetime and i dont want to be in my mind anymore but i have fucked up my life through that i wanted to go off the medication a then smoke weed then another psychotic break came... been in mental hospital for a month a half and i was so happy to go home but that feeling that you have to construct your life the other way and be with people after everything that happened its so punishing for me .. i just dont want to live and i cant even cry because of antypsichotic medication that i have in me... if there was some fucking to fucking just push the button and i'll be dead i would be so happy.. i dont know what to do anymore i was supposed to go to college but iam not prepared even tho i was at the manic state when i wanted to go there.. so iam not going and the whole family was let down by me... i just really want to die so fucking bad but dont know how, wanted to buy cyanide but i think there is only scammers on the internet.. i just dont know what to do iam so paralyzed by everything even if i was ready to go jump under the train i must trough that anxiety be around people.. everytime i wake up i just hate it because iam wonder why am i not dead yet i just want to be dead so much.. iam wishing every day that something come and kill me.. i dont want to be here anymore.. i dont know what should i do .. iam not capable of any job cause my anxiety and my family cant stand it they think iam alright but iam not .. iam on paliperidone right now and its worse fate then dead i think i will be impotent because of this medication in no time... please if someone would give good advice to kill myself i would be very grateful.. as i said i have this ambien medication so if it is the opportunity for me i would take it..if is someone in similar situation please pm me. /sorry for my english)

 

[couldntthinkofaname]

dont worry

nobody suffers forever. we all die eventually

 

[Suicideroomwannadie]

i hope it will come soon... iam thinking about jumping under the train

 

[bigj75]

dont worry

nobody suffers forever. we all die eventually

Yae but id rather not wait 50 years for that to happen while I'm suffering until then.

 

[Suicideroomwannadie]

help me...

 

[Deutschv2]

Don't worry, there are many peaceful methods that are relatively inexpensive. Tourniquet method only takes a shoelace and a spoon. Formic + sulfuric acid are about $50 plus shipping and you can buy formic and sulfuric acid both off ebay. Alternatively charcoal if you have a grill and chimney starter is like $10. These are all virtually painless methods. If you need more help pm