Venting please help

[bear_trapped]

today has been nothing but awful. Next week is my last week of high school and I have absolutely no idea what's next. My depression and suicidal thoughts began freshman year. These past 4 years have been absolutely hell, so despite being a decently intelligent student, my grades and work ethic have been suffering terribly. I gave up on life at the age 14 and never put any thought or effort into my future. I assumed I would've been long dead before I reach my adult years. Now i'm crying after senior signings because everyone I know is excited to graduate and go off to their chosen colleges. I still have underclassmen i'm close to and I'll probably never even see them again after next week. I'll be at home not knowing what to do with my life. I don't want to be stuck in this lame ass town making minimum wage and living in this awful house for the rest of my life. But I also don't know what my other options are, nobody in my family has ever been to college. I can't drive and have a physical health condition that gets in the way more often than not. I honestly can't see a successful future for myself, it feels like i'm meant to just ctb and get this all over with

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you suffer so unbearably. I know that it can be dreadful when everything seems so hopeless. I hope that you find relief from your pain in whatever you decide to do, I wish you the best.

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

today has been nothing but awful. Next week is my last week of high school and I have absolutely no idea what's next. My depression and suicidal thoughts began freshman year. These past 4 years have been absolutely hell, so despite being a decently intelligent student, my grades and work ethic have been suffering terribly. I gave up on life at the age 14 and never put any thought or effort into my future. I assumed I would've been long dead before I reach my adult years. Now i'm crying after senior signings because everyone I know is excited to graduate and go off to their chosen colleges. I still have underclassmen i'm close to and I'll probably never even see them again after next week. I'll be at home not knowing what to do with my life. I don't want to be stuck in this lame ass town making minimum wage and living in this awful house for the rest of my life. But I also don't know what my other options are, nobody in my family has ever been to college. I can't drive and have a physical health condition that gets in the way more often than not. I honestly can't see a successful future for myself, it feels like i'm meant to just ctb and get this all over with

I'm sorry for your suffering. Adolescence is certainly one of the most complicated stages of everyone's life, with many uncertainties. And to see that the circumstances we're used to will change and we'll move on to unfamiliar ground is frightening.

But I think there are solutions for that. Can't you also go to a college? Do you know what course you would like to take? If you can't make it this year that's okay, you can always stay and improve your grades and in the meantime really think about what you want to do. One year when you're young doesn't make any difference. Before I went to college, I was stuck for a year for reasons outside of that, and now I've my degree and I already have a job. The most important thing is to get to the end of the line and reach the goal because the path is never straight.

 

[Cathy Ames]

today has been nothing but awful. Next week is my last week of high school and I have absolutely no idea what's next. My depression and suicidal thoughts began freshman year. These past 4 years have been absolutely hell, so despite being a decently intelligent student, my grades and work ethic have been suffering terribly. I gave up on life at the age 14 and never put any thought or effort into my future. I assumed I would've been long dead before I reach my adult years. Now i'm crying after senior signings because everyone I know is excited to graduate and go off to their chosen colleges. I still have underclassmen i'm close to and I'll probably never even see them again after next week. I'll be at home not knowing what to do with my life. I don't want to be stuck in this lame ass town making minimum wage and living in this awful house for the rest of my life. But I also don't know what my other options are, nobody in my family has ever been to college. I can't drive and have a physical health condition that gets in the way more often than not. I honestly can't see a successful future for myself, it feels like i'm meant to just ctb and get this all over with

If you don't mind my asking, what is preventing you from learning how to drive? Do you have a community college where you live? Is there any other usable transportation (buses?) besides driving? I think you probably DO have other options, but not knowing all the details it is difficult to figure out what all they might be.

I'm pretty sure high schools in the US are required to have guidance counselors and career counselors on staff. Maybe you can go talk to them to get some ideas. It is really, REALLY too bad that your high school guidance counselor didn't help you figure this stuff out further ahead of your graduation. Parents who have not been to college can have a lot of trouble helping their kids navigate the whole "process."

 

[Nlis2244]

I understand you well. I will soon be in your same situation. What to do next? How will I be able to do it? How am I supposed to become independent? I have no idea, I feel lost. Thinking about my future is stressful and exhausting. Thinking of having to work for decades, probably a job that I won't even like is horrible l. I don't want to work, I don't want to study, I don't want to face life. My only option Is Ctb before having to face all of these challenges.