Help please help me quit my job

[livefastdieyoung]

hi guys, ill try keep this brief.

there are 4 things keeping me here currently:

- my cats, i love them but i just give the fuck up. nothing will matter when im dead anyways.
- my job, and the feeling of guilt quitting and letting down my coworkers or even just inconveniencing them, i work fulltiime in an office job thats actually great but i just cannot.
- nose job, ive always really wanted a nose job and i even took out a 35k loan, but who cares about that. anyways i already paid a 2k deposit and its booked for december but i genuinely just do not care anymore.
- survival instinct, though i can probably overcome this easily with alcohol.

okay wow that actually seems like a lot, but its not.

anyways, please give me advice to quit my job. i have almost 8k in savings so i can travel anywhere before i go, plus the rest of the loan which i cant care about if im dead. i plan to book an airbnb for my method or maybe even camping idk ive never camped. if anyone wants to partner im from west Aus hmu. highly doubt anyone will. anyways i havent bought equipment yet or tested it but i can, if this doesnt work SN is my backup maybe. lowkey contemplating going on the highway and getting bulldozed by a semi truck but i probably wont do that its terrifying. maybe i could jump but i dont know where from as theres not many publicly accessible tall buildings where i am, atleast that i know of. also very scared of wind making me fling into a building or something as i am very small and petite. cant even have access to a fucking gun which is amazing. if anyone from another country has a method like mine (mine is CO poisoning preferably hmu cause i might even just book a flight at this point). mabe i should try exit bag or night night method, will look into that a bit more. anyways i think having this job and the nose job has been distracting me from committing to a method fully. so help me out!!!

i am really scared of dying lowkey. i just cannot see it ever getting better. im tired of living in fear, and the constant fake hope things will get better. im tired of lying to myself.

thank you for reading this far.

 

[Dot]

Am nt sre tht ppl cn hlp u brk off thngs whch r keepng u frm ctb - thse r decsns tht u mke fr urslf & othr ppl wld b helpng t/ 'psh' u 2wrds ctb if thy helpd u wth tht

 

[bankai]

If you're looking for a partner, please talk to people and get on a video call with them and try to vet them as much as you can. You shouldn't be arbitrarily meeting people off the site. Just saying. I've seen some people who met each other only on the day of their planned CTB.

Personally, that sounds really strange to me. And risky.Me personally, I'd rather go at it alone. I don't want any emotions coming into play either.

There are a lot of good people on this site.
But i've also see several cases where people have made a pact and 1 has dropped out at the last minute.