Venting Platitudes, platitudes everywhere.

[SilentSadness]

It's tiring to see platitudes in every crevice of this society proposed as a solution to every problem. It's always the same, exercise, go for a walk, get better, speak to a professional, meditate, improve yourself first, define away the problem, stop thinking negatively, volunteer at a pet enclosure. It's exhausting, and it's not even related to the problem which is funny. I think this is one of the reasons why no one can get help for anything, since people always act as if it's an easy solve. Also, I keep hearing people compliment the platitudes and how much it helped them, I think they must not actually have the problem because how can being told to think positively be helpful, when the issue is concrete and objective. At the end of the day, you can have the same easily fixable problem for your entire life and still have it at the end because everyone will look the other way. I think the conclusion is that this world is pretty much a post apocalyptic anarchy where there's no such thing as altruism. There is nothing worse than being here, every microsecond is full of unrelenting pain.

 

[Namelesa]

Agreed. Out of the things I have tired, none of them has worked for me. Walking is wither it makes me feel a tiny bit better or much worse. Same with exercise but its extra useless for me in terms of my confidence in my body as I am mostly happy with one I have now and exercise ain't going to make it better. I have tried mediating and while it helped a little at first, to me its effectiveness has just decreased from doing it more and now is barely doing anything. I have talked with processionals and the ones from NHS suck and the private ones, while have helped a little with things here and there, aren't going to solve the problems that are most effecting me. Statements like "get better" or "stop thinking negatively" or "improve yourself first" are stupid and meaningless to me as I literally don't know how to do that and am unable to do that on my own.

If these things have helped someone, I am glad its worked for them but don't force this onto us and say that it will benefit us in the long run as for some people, it doesn't.

 

[longtheriverrun]

It's tiring to see platitudes in every crevice of this society proposed as a solution to every problem. It's always the same, exercise, go for a walk, get better, speak to a professional, meditate, improve yourself first, define away the problem, stop thinking negatively, volunteer at a pet enclosure.

I heavily agree with you. Aphorisms and platitudes have done nothing but make me feel even more lost when it comes to wanting to get better. If I wanted that kind of gruel, I could've done a quick web-search for self-help advice. It's almost always people in great positions who will tell you those sorts of things. I don't blame them, because if I started directly complaining about them trying to help me—as hollow as those phrases may be—I'd just be needlessly rude. It's easy to tell a person "focus on yourself" and other such things when you aren't struggling. Hearing those words when I feel nothing but absolute dread and misery every second of the day makes me think "why am I such a broken mess?" Personally, I'd rather have no one be empathetic to me than be on the receiving end of endless platitudes from someone who 'figured' it all out already

 

[Forever Sleep]

I agree that it's anoying when these things are presented as 100% guaranteed solutions. Really, they are things that might help. I suppose to be fair though- if someone has found something that works for them. If they have an ounce of empathy for other people they perceive to be suffering in a similar way- they may be trying to advocate for these solutions out of kindness. That they genuinely want other people to feel better like they do.

In a way, I see it similarly to the (debatable) lie we get fed at school- work hard and you'll be rewarded/ you'll be successful. It's not necessarily true but- would the truth be more motivating at the end of the day? 'You can still so easily fail after you put in all that effort' (in which case- if you hate it- why bother?) The absolute truth would probably be that you're perhaps more likely to succeed at something if you put in the effort.

The same reasoning goes for 'better' living. These things may help us to feel better if we give them a decent enough try. If we don't though- it stands to reason that things are very likely to stay as they are. I suppose it's clutching at straws but then- what else can they offer us?

It's like, I get the frustration with it all but, what else can they realistically do, except offer up solutions that have been known to help other people? But sure, it would definitely be good if they acknowledged these things don't guarantee a fix and, they're not always that easy for people to do to begin with.

What would you prefer to hear instead though? I think I'd definitely like it to be genuine and tailored suggestions. That a person takes the time to try to understand the things that are troubling us before just spouting out a bunch of generic suggestions. Other than that though, the 'sollution' side to it may not be so different.

Surely, it doesn't help us when we're physically unfit. We're not designed as a species to lay about all day, not clean ourselves, not eat nutritionally well. Some generic sollutions will likely help most people. They by no means solve all my problems but, I tend to do them to ensure things get no worse for me.

 

[needthebus]

Don't say that

Try to look on the bright side: every cloud has a silver lining.

 

[longtheriverrun]

What would you prefer to hear instead though?

Personally, just "I'm here for you" would be more than enough for when I'm struggling. It may seem like less effort than giving advice, but its simplicity makes it feel much more sincere. Of course, how much someone is struggling changes what kind of advice and support works, but that goes without saying. Being as neurotic as I am, I feel utterly hopeless; I'm not immune to all forms of advice, but the cynic in me hates cheap platitudes—which is probably why I haven't gotten any better

 

[divinemistress36]

None of those useless suggestions people suggest gets to root of trauma.

 

[needthebus]

hol up

I think everyone here needs to try some deep breathing techniques and reach out to some trusted community members

 

[SilentSadness]

What would you prefer to hear instead though? I think I'd definitely like it to be genuine and tailored suggestions.

I think the point has been missed. I don't want them to say anything if they have nothing to say. Platitudes disguise the fact that they don't have a solution to the problem or don't care about solving it, which is why they are harmful. I actually wouldn't like someone to say they're "here for me" either if they were only going to speak to me for 30 seconds. Just be honest, there is no solution or most people don't care about solving it, and only then can anything change. If not, at least it's more respectful to be truthful.