N
Nightmare Painting
Student
- Dec 16, 2021
- 121
I just want to be able to leave whenever I want but I'm being held back by the people around me and my own incompetence. I don't have more than a couple of hours of alone time at home and I'm tired of having to wait for the right opportunity. Three decades of emptyness and suffering and I can't even have one day to myself to end it all.
I'm agoraphobic and while I could somehow probably force myself to rent a hotel it'd be far too suspicious of me to go anywhere during Winter especially considering I'm a shut in anyways. I have 3 kinds of SN and my meto should be here soon but I've been having the urge to try to get N since it works faster and would make it easier to leave in those couple of hours. I don't have the energy or the know how to figure out crypto to buy N; I wish I could just leave with my SN any time I wanted. I'm sick of the waiting and having to bottle everything up my entire life especially at the end. I cannot afford to fuck this up, I need to leave and I feel trapped.
I'm agoraphobic and while I could somehow probably force myself to rent a hotel it'd be far too suspicious of me to go anywhere during Winter especially considering I'm a shut in anyways. I have 3 kinds of SN and my meto should be here soon but I've been having the urge to try to get N since it works faster and would make it easier to leave in those couple of hours. I don't have the energy or the know how to figure out crypto to buy N; I wish I could just leave with my SN any time I wanted. I'm sick of the waiting and having to bottle everything up my entire life especially at the end. I cannot afford to fuck this up, I need to leave and I feel trapped.