Plan on killing myself due to being loneliness. Been with over 100 prostitutes...

[deathproof17]

Probably close to 200 at this point but I stopped counting and lost track after 100. Got in the habit of seeing them as a coping mechanism to deal with loneliness, anxiety and stress. It was fun at first because I could pretend I was some alpha male fucking all these super hot women. It was a real confidence booster. But them it hit me... They only care about my money. Not me. It's obvious in hindsight but I was so delusional. Now more often than not I just feel empty, sad and even more lonely after a session. I barely even care about sex at this point.

I crave companionship and someone who genuinely likes me and desires my company. I find my self jealous seeing other men who get wives, GFs and hookups the normal way. God did not give me the looks, personality or charm and it is impossible for me to develop them no matter how hard I try. Makes me feel bad. At the end of the day I'm just some pathetic loser who can't make women like him the natural way and has to pay them. It's beyond sad and pathetic. I don't know If I have it in me to admit to my prostitute spree in my suicide note. Note: most of them weren't bad people. They are just providing a service that's in demand and doing what they need to do to survive. I don't fault any of them for that.

 

[antonhylion]

Loliness is kiling us slowly. But dont be ashamed bc at least you had your fun. Most gonna die virgins here lol

 

[Kadaver]

Loliness is kiling us slowly. But dont be ashamed bc at least you had your fun. Most gonna die virgins here lol

Dying a virgin isn't a bad thing.

 

[antonhylion]

Dying a virgin isn't a bad thing.

Not bad or good. It will not matter at the end.

 

[Kadaver]

Not bad or good. It will not matter at the end.

The way you said it made it sound like a bad thing.

 

[antonhylion]

The way you said it made it sound like a bad thing.

I was trying to make him feel better lol

 

[Kadaver]

I was trying to make him feel better lol

By putting down others? You should find a better way of comforting people, especially when "dying a virgin" is something that people actually fear on this forum.

 

[antonhylion]

By putting down others? You should find a better way of comforting people, especially when "dying a virgin" is something that people actually fear on this forum.

You just have to fear if your method fails. Nothing will matter after. Dont insist in create a problem that doesnt exists. This is forum is pro-choicer and to find ways to ctb on a dign way. The rest dont will matter no more after.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I'm sorry that being lonely is causing you to suffer so much. It must be awful.

Also, this:

It was fun at first because I could pretend I was some alpha male fucking all these super hot women.

Never, and I mean NEVER, unironically use the term "alpha male" outside of the context of ABO (also, never talk about ABO outside of fanfic communities). That goes for other terms, like sigma and beta. Do you want this to be associated with whatever the fuck this is?

Spoiler

No, I don't think so. It looks like a shitty version of those bowling alley animations or whatever they are called

 

[deathproof17]

I'm sorry that being lonely is causing you to suffer so much. It must be awful.

Also, this:

Never, and I mean NEVER, unironically use the term "alpha male" outside of the context of ABO (also, never talk about ABO outside of fanfic communities). That goes for other terms, like sigma and beta. Do you want this to be associated with whatever the fuck this is?

Spoiler

No, I don't think so. It looks like a shitty version of those bowling alley animations or whatever they are called

Yeah it is cringe. Being a strong and respected person that rely on is what I aspire to be.

 

[PI3.14]

I relate to thus a lot. I'm, I guess, on the spectrum. I'm introverted. I'm short, 165cm(5'5) in height. I understand the pain. I however don't have a solution unfortunately.

 

[Marco77]

At least initially you enjoyed doing it, that's important. Don't comment on what you did, remember it as you experienced it. Remember: it is your illusion that is True.