nintendo64
mr. kill myself
- Dec 19, 2025
- 23
I've had a lot of physical health problems.
Debilitating postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome, cyclic vomiting, chronic pain, etc. A lot of my problems are cryptic, I've had a permanent fever for over a year and doctors have no idea why. Makes me feel like absolute shit, like I have the flu constantly. I've had to go to the ER a lot for stuff like vomiting so much to the point I can't keep liquids down and need IVs, and I'm in debt because of it. I was also in a car wreck and they insisted I needed a useless CAT scan which ran me 1600$. I thought I died for a moment when my friend crashed her car into that truck, I was so happy, and let me just say it was the most disappointing moment ever when I realized I was still alive lol. Kind of solidified my intent to take my own life.
I can never hold down a job since I constantly come very close to passing out, can't stand in place and vomit so much. I'm also anorexic and extremely physically weak, I can barely lift 10lb from doing nothing but laying in bed every day for so long. My resting heart rate is 130bpm and it gets to the 250s which feels god awful. I can't even get disability payment either since it's so hard to obtain. I'm stuck dirt poor and having to mooch off my family whenever my food stamps run out, it makes me feel so burdensome so I try to eat as little as possible because of it.
Anyone else struggling with their physical health or medical debt as part of why they want to ctb?
Debilitating postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome, cyclic vomiting, chronic pain, etc. A lot of my problems are cryptic, I've had a permanent fever for over a year and doctors have no idea why. Makes me feel like absolute shit, like I have the flu constantly. I've had to go to the ER a lot for stuff like vomiting so much to the point I can't keep liquids down and need IVs, and I'm in debt because of it. I was also in a car wreck and they insisted I needed a useless CAT scan which ran me 1600$. I thought I died for a moment when my friend crashed her car into that truck, I was so happy, and let me just say it was the most disappointing moment ever when I realized I was still alive lol. Kind of solidified my intent to take my own life.
I can never hold down a job since I constantly come very close to passing out, can't stand in place and vomit so much. I'm also anorexic and extremely physically weak, I can barely lift 10lb from doing nothing but laying in bed every day for so long. My resting heart rate is 130bpm and it gets to the 250s which feels god awful. I can't even get disability payment either since it's so hard to obtain. I'm stuck dirt poor and having to mooch off my family whenever my food stamps run out, it makes me feel so burdensome so I try to eat as little as possible because of it.
Anyone else struggling with their physical health or medical debt as part of why they want to ctb?
