Discussion Perfect suicide note...

[Centerism]

Hey family,
So I have written a few drafts of my suicide note and have figured or how my main note will go out, handwritten one next to my body and a digital one via email/social media from a dead mans switch. I have finished copies that are personally written notes to people I care about. But I am struggling on what I should write in my main note, the one the world will see.

I used the old tactics in my other notes like, I love you, don't worry, it's not your fault, this was mercy for me, please be happy for me and don't let this act keep you down. Though that's not what my main note is for. Sure I'm gonna let the supporters on this site know I love them and they'll always live on through my act. But I also want the note to be dark and ominous, threatening almost to the people who have seriously wronged/hurt me so badly over the years.

I've been listening to this song by slipknot, "everything ends." There are some serious words throughout that song that really pricked my curiosity. Things like, "you are wrong, fucked, and overrated. I think I'm gonna be suck and it's your fault. This is the end of everything." Also there's some lyrics that I feel fit my death perfectly, like "I'll fix my problems with a blade!" And, "my flaws are the only thing that's left is pure." And my favorite line is, "I haven't slept since I find out, my whole life was a lie!!!"

Does any of that sound familiar to anyone? I know it his home with me. I want to let this cruel world and it's sickened humanity know that they are behind a lot of my problems. If I wasnt abused I wouldn't have trust issues, if I wasn't outed as gay I wouldn't be hated so badly, ifonly my family understood me I would have support I'm my weakness, if only my friends stayed by my side I wouldn't feel so empty and unwanted...
If only...

I'm a screwed up individual and I know it better than anyone else how seriously fucked up people are (I've seen some seriously fucked up shit on the dark web). I suffer so badly today from mental pain, anguish and a general disdain for the world. Along with severe physical pain and a crippled body. I just don't know where to turn anymore. I am seriously twisted. Mitt in the sense that I want to hurt people our see others hurt emotionally. I just have a skewered sense of reality.

I know seeding a note that spreads ill will isn't something that matches my personality. Yes I'm loving, yes I love everyone here, yes I'm carrying ash's gentle, yes I'm generally positive but, I still have my scars and I still feel pain. And there's so many people in this world that have caused me pain and I still find purple who reinforce the idea that humanity is out to trample others just to get their own triumph. I hate some people who have hurt others so badly. I have even seen people on this site that are out to simply cash in on their own morbid curiosity.

So my main note will go something along the lines of, "Thank you everyone who has supported me. I love all of you who have understood me. To all who have opposed me, I have something for you... And to all who have shunned me I have something for you... And to everyone who hates me I have something for you... And especially to those who have hurt me I really have something for you..."

I hope at least one person lasts something, possibly understanding, from my words.

I am hurting today. I have to go to my psychologist again and I know I'm gonna spend the whole day crying, again. So keep me in your thoughts. You are all wonderful. You guys keep my heart alive. Thank you. I love each and every one of you. Keep your heads up. Please.

Hugs family

Oh, this is that song by slipknot, "everything ends." Its metal so if you don't like metal I'm sorry, but I do wish all of you will listen to it. The words are poetic. Its about suicide and the song is a literal suicide note. I found a version with lyrics dio you can see whet they're saying. I how you the the time to listen to it. You won't be disappointed

 

[xXSarac3nSlay3rXx]

I feel everyone should write their note how they see fit. I'm a procrastinator and still need to write my own. I'll second you on metal lyrics. I was listening to Lamb of God's "Blacken the Cursed Sun" today and it encapsulates how I feel perfectly. I was thinking about seeing a Slipknot show near me because Gojira is opening for them, but unfortunately I think I'll probably ctb before that for a different reason. Best of luck to you!

 

[Ermac]

Hey family,
So I have written a few drafts of my suicide note and have figured or how my main note will go out, handwritten one next to my body and a digital one via email/social media from a dead mans switch. I have finished copies that are personally written notes to people I care about. But I am struggling on what I should write in my main note, the one the world will see.

I used the old tactics in my other notes like, I love you, don't worry, it's not your fault, this was mercy for me, please be happy for me and don't let this act keep you down. Though that's not what my main note is for. Sure I'm gonna let the supporters on this site know I love them and they'll always live on through my act. But I also want the note to be dark and ominous, threatening almost to the people who have seriously wronged/hurt me so badly over the years.

I've been listening to this song by slipknot, "everything ends." There are some serious words throughout that song that really pricked my curiosity. Things like, "you are wrong, fucked, and overrated. I think I'm gonna be suck and it's your fault. This is the end of everything." Also there's some lyrics that I feel fit my death perfectly, like "I'll fix my problems with a blade!" And, "my flaws are the only thing that's left is pure." And my favorite line is, "I haven't slept since I find out, my whole life was a lie!!!"

Does any of that sound familiar to anyone? I know it his home with me. I want to let this cruel world and it's sickened humanity know that they are behind a lot of my problems. If I wasnt abused I wouldn't have trust issues, if I wasn't outed as gay I wouldn't be hated so badly, ifonly my family understood me I would have support I'm my weakness, if only my friends stayed by my side I wouldn't feel so empty and unwanted...
If only...

I'm a screwed up individual and I know it better than anyone else how seriously fucked up people are (I've seen some seriously fucked up shit on the dark web). I suffer so badly today from mental pain, anguish and a general disdain for the world. Along with severe physical pain and a crippled body. I just don't know where to turn anymore. I am seriously twisted. Mitt in the sense that I want to hurt people our see others hurt emotionally. I just have a skewered sense of reality.

I know seeding a note that spreads ill will isn't something that matches my personality. Yes I'm loving, yes I love everyone here, yes I'm carrying ash's gentle, yes I'm generally positive but, I still have my scars and I still feel pain. And there's so many people in this world that have caused me pain and I still find purple who reinforce the idea that humanity is out to trample others just to get their own triumph. I hate some people who have hurt others so badly. I have even seen people on this site that are out to simply cash in on their own morbid curiosity.

So my main note will go something along the lines of, "Thank you everyone who has supported me. I love all of you who have understood me. To all who have opposed me, I have something for you... And to all who have shunned me I have something for you... And to everyone who hates me I have something for you... And especially to those who have hurt me I really have something for you..."

I hope at least one person lasts something, possibly understanding, from my words.

I am hurting today. I have to go to my psychologist again and I know I'm gonna spend the whole day crying, again. So keep me in your thoughts. You are all wonderful. You guys keep my heart alive. Thank you. I love each and every one of you. Keep your heads up. Please.

Hugs family

Oh, this is that song by slipknot, "everything ends." Its metal so if you don't like metal I'm sorry, but I do wish all of you will listen to it. The words are poetic. Its about suicide and the song is a literal suicide note. I found a version with lyrics dio you can see whet they're saying. I how you the the time to listen to it. You won't be disappointed

It is a very poetic song, thank you sharing it.

Initially when I wrote my suicide note the first 10+ times it was full of anger and despair. I was so bitter that I was in this situation because of abuse/bullies/shitty parents. Reread the notes a few days later and I didn't feel as strong about it. Made me wonder if those who I hated would read it and feel the same feelings I felt. Was helpful in venting and releasing that frustration but I felt guilty like it would pass a curse onto others. So I just burned the note.

I relate with a lot of what you have been posting in the past couple days. I'm just a little hesitant to share so I'm sorry that I didn't respond there. My heart is with you. You are such a kind person that you don't deserve to suffer like this.

Everything might end but your memory will be kept alive through your final note.

 

[Centerism]

I feel everyone should write their note how they see fit. I'm a procrastinator and still need to write my own. I'll second you on metal lyrics. I was listening to Lamb of God's "Blacken the Cursed Sun" today and it encapsulates how I feel perfectly. I was thinking about seeing a Slipknot show near me because Gojira is opening for them, but unfortunately I think I'll probably ctb before that for a different reason. Best of luck to you!

It's ok to procrastinate. We all do it. Just make sure when you do write your note that you put your heart and soul directly into it. You will know what to say when the time is right. I love lamb of god. They are awesome and that song is one of my favorites. Wow, you have a chance to see slipknot? I would jump on that. But if you're sry on ctb before that can hasten then I wish you all the peace in the world. Just remember, I love you.

It is a very poetic song, thank you sharing it.

Initially when I wrote my suicide note the first 10+ times it was full of anger and despair. I was so bitter that I was in this situation because of abuse/bullies/shitty parents. Reread the notes a few days later and I didn't feel as strong about it. Made me wonder if those who I hated would read it and feel the same feelings I felt. Was helpful in venting and releasing that frustration but I felt guilty like it would pass a curse onto others. So I just burned the note.

I relate with a lot of what you have been posting in the past couple days. I'm just a little hesitant to share so I'm sorry that I didn't respond there. My heart is with you. You are such a kind person that you don't deserve to suffer like this.

Everything might end but your memory will be kept alive through your final note.

You're welcome for sharing that song. Its really something that grabs my heart. Another song i love is "hurt" by nine inch nails. I'm a cutter so I respond well to sings about pain. That particular one, "I hurt myself today. To see if I still feel. I focus on the pain. The only thing that's real," is purely my favorite and I love the way it describes me.

Ya I've written and rewritten my notes a bunch of times. I finally settled on a couple for people I cared about and I kept them the way that they are. But the one I want to post here and and it on Facebook and email still eludes me. I'm afraid I'm not gonna say the right things to the right people. I don't know. I know one day I'll get it right.

Thanks for reading my stuff. I don't blame you for not responding. I honestly think the best of people on this site mostly keep to themselves. So thanks fur responding. And thank you for dying nice words about me. I just care for people in my situation and I love them no matter what. You are my kin, my family of sorts. And I honestly do love you.

Thanks for responding. You're right, everything might end, but my last words will forever ring in the ears of the people who knew me.

 

[Stan]

I have drafted my letters to my not so young children today, I was actually crying whilst doing it which really surprised me