Discussion People's hypocrisy and cognitive dissonance when it comes to suicide as a topic is infuriating to look at

[ijustwishtodie]

And, oh my, there is a lot of them. Some of them can be found when looking at suicide victims and suicide as a vacuum but others can be found by comparing their responses to same situation and same vents but with one including the victim being suicidal and one where they aren't suicidal.

The first example of their cognitive dissonance is when they claim that it is selfish for a suicidal person to kill themselves but simultaneously claim that it isn't selfish for people to forcibly prevent suicidal people from dying.

Secondly, in a conversation where suicide isn't brought up, people admit that life sucks and working is horrible. But as soon as suicide is brought up, suddenly they preach life as being all beautiful again

Thirdly, people would say to you in a normal setting that you're unloved and that you'd die alone but, as soon as suicide is brought up, they say that you're loved, you aren't alone, we care about you etc.

Fourthly, they say that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem as a reason to stay alive but when it comes to anything else, they'd always choose the permanent solution over a temporary one. It's only here where the opposite is true

There are most likely others but I'd be here all day writing about them.

what are your thoughts regarding their hypocrisy and cognitive dissonance when it comes to suicide?

 

[FuneralCry]

I just believe that many pro-life people don't wish to accept that for lots of people to voluntarily cease existing is the most desirable and rational solution as accepting that reality would shatter their delusions.

I've never been able to understand how death being permanent is supposedly a bad thing, in fact it's why ceasing to exist is so appealing to me. Suicide is a permanent solution to the true problem that is existence itself, preventing all future unnecessary suffering as a result.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

The hypocrisy is overwhelmingly true.
I think they are just too biased and afraid to discuss suicide in a rational manner .
Suicide is incomprehensible to them and they will use any arguments they can to justify suicide as an irrational.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I definitely agree. The other one for me is that if you complain about something like your job, they will tell you that they hated their job too. That in so many ways, they had it worse and other people have it even worse than the both of you. But it's like... ok... but- what am I supposed to do with that? Because you hated your job and found life difficult and millions more are having an even worse time of it, that should make it easier for me? I think they're basically saying- yes- everyone hates their job and struggles in life- it's just what you do. But like- Why? Why is that acceptable? Why do you think expecting more than that is wrong? When it's parents that say it- it's more- Why the hell did you bring me into this if you knew this was likely?!!

 

[february in alaska]

Secondly, in a conversation where suicide isn't brought up, people admit that life sucks and working is horrible. But as soon as suicide is brought up, suddenly they preach life as being all beautiful again

This, oh my god. Humor is the internet's favorite coping mechanism, I've seen posts/memes/whatever that all say "life sucks" in a million different ways, each with hundreds of thousands of likes and a comment section full of people saying how relatable it is. But when people follow that to the inevitable solution which is to stop living, suddenly the shared experience of misery never existed.

I really believe that a lot of people are miserable, hate life, and might even be passively suicidal, but they keep living for whatever reason and hate the idea of other people getting to leave it all behind. When I was in "recovery", I was lowkey one of them. It's the idea that "okay, if I have to keep living and suffer through this, then so do you" all wrapped up in a nice bow of "saving them"

 

[SilentSadness]

Unfortunately a lot of people have some kind of negative mental reaction against suicide which prevents them from thinking rationally. Maybe it's instinct, because someone who's normally level headed suddenly starts claiming life is beautiful and makes up as many reasons as possible why death is terrible. It's important to note that the fight against suicide is an emotional one and not a rational one.

 

[dreamingofrest]

And, oh my, there is a lot of them. Some of them can be found when looking at suicide victims and suicide as a vacuum but others can be found by comparing their responses to same situation and same vents but with one including the victim being suicidal and one where they aren't suicidal.

The first example of their cognitive dissonance is when they claim that it is selfish for a suicidal person to kill themselves but simultaneously claim that it isn't selfish for people to forcibly prevent suicidal people from dying.

Secondly, in a conversation where suicide isn't brought up, people admit that life sucks and working is horrible. But as soon as suicide is brought up, suddenly they preach life as being all beautiful again

Thirdly, people would say to you in a normal setting that you're unloved and that you'd die alone but, as soon as suicide is brought up, they say that you're loved, you aren't alone, we care about you etc.

Fourthly, they say that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem as a reason to stay alive but when it comes to anything else, they'd always choose the permanent solution over a temporary one. It's only here where the opposite is true

There are most likely others but I'd be here all day writing about them.

what are your thoughts regarding their hypocrisy and cognitive dissonance when it comes to suicide?

I think it's that some people just can't understand that for some people their problems aren't always temporary. They think they know what's best for suicidal people because they don't get how different than some people's experiences and life's are.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I definitely agree. The other one for me is that if you complain about something like your job, they will tell you that they hated their job too. That in so many ways, they had it worse and other people have it even worse than the both of you. But it's like... ok... but- what am I supposed to do with that? Because you hated your job and found life difficult and millions more are having an even worse time of it, that should make it easier for me? I think they're basically saying- yes- everyone hates their job and struggles in life- it's just what you do. But like- Why? Why is that acceptable? Why do you think expecting more than that is wrong? When it's parents that say it- it's more- Why the hell did you bring me into this if you knew this was likely?!!

oh, yes, absolutely this. People say that "life is unfair" all the time but, if they acknowledge that life is unfair, why would they force us to experience the bad end of the unfairness and to not escape from it entirely? And, like you said, it's even worse when parents do it as they willingly give birth to someone knowing that they'll live an unfair life. Although it may be more nuanced than that as they assume that their child will be the one to save the world or make life fair or whatever. Still, it's a very stupid argument from them

 

[BetterInTheory]

I agree. Eventually, we all die. Every singly human being knows this, but most refuse to acknowledge it. I honestly think there's some forced optimism and ignorance involved when it comes to assigning so much value to life. Humanity seems to be in the grips of moral panic about death.
Some people simply do not wish to be here, and that is okay!

"Life is like a movie, if you've sat through more than half of it and it's sucked every second so far, it probably isn't going to get great right at the end and make it all worthwhile. None should blame you for walking out early." - Doug Stanhope

 

[HybridMindset]

And, oh my, there is a lot of them. Some of them can be found when looking at suicide victims and suicide as a vacuum but others can be found by comparing their responses to same situation and same vents but with one including the victim being suicidal and one where they aren't suicidal.

The first example of their cognitive dissonance is when they claim that it is selfish for a suicidal person to kill themselves but simultaneously claim that it isn't selfish for people to forcibly prevent suicidal people from dying.

Secondly, in a conversation where suicide isn't brought up, people admit that life sucks and working is horrible. But as soon as suicide is brought up, suddenly they preach life as being all beautiful again

Thirdly, people would say to you in a normal setting that you're unloved and that you'd die alone but, as soon as suicide is brought up, they say that you're loved, you aren't alone, we care about you etc.

Fourthly, they say that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem as a reason to stay alive but when it comes to anything else, they'd always choose the permanent solution over a temporary one. It's only here where the opposite is true

There are most likely others but I'd be here all day writing about them.

what are your thoughts regarding their hypocrisy and cognitive dissonance when it comes to suicide?

I'm not sure if this is the same for everyone, but I've always felt like people focus too much on symptoms and not the actual problem.

As an example: I've been trying to get a job for like ever now with no success. I do programming and home server management as a hobby and yet I cannot even get a "sorry, not interested" response. I'm tired of asking others for money... like how is anyone supposed to not feel useless in a situation like this?

There's so many (relatively) small issues like this, but people would rather focus on "waaah suicide site bad" than the state of the education system, healthcare and all the other things I've heard people struggle with. "trans people are suicidal" doesn't mean "trans people bad", maybe they'd be doing better if they didn't get constantly harassed.

I can't be the only one that thinks this, right?

 

[Nanako]

I hate this "it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem" argument. I can think of like a 100 problems off the top of my head that aren't temporary and can stick with you until the day you die.

 

[mintgreendolphin]

To put it simply, misery loves company. They want us to stay so we can all suffer together because that makes the suffering better... somehow???

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I'm not sure if this is the same for everyone, but I've always felt like people focus too much on symptoms and not the actual problem.

Yes, exactly! I noticed the same thing. You said it so succinctly and so well. They seem to work backwards by focusing on the conclusion first (the symptoms) instead of the cause (the actual problem)

As an example: I've been trying to get a job for like ever now with no success. I do programming and home server management as a hobby and yet I cannot even get a "sorry, not interested" response. I'm tired of asking others for money... like how is anyone supposed to not feel useless in a situation like this?

I know the question is rhetorical (or at least I assume the question is rhetorical; my autism tends to screw me over) but I assume that a lot of people would just tell you to be more positive and that it'd all work out with the right mindset if you were to share this to them. Once again, focusing on the symptoms instead of the problem and then they wonder why we're still suicidal or why we still feel like shit

There's so many (relatively) small issues like this, but people would rather focus on "waaah suicide site bad" than the state of the education system, healthcare and all the other things I've heard people struggle with. "trans people are suicidal" doesn't mean "trans people bad", maybe they'd be doing better if they didn't get constantly harassed.

Focusing on small issues is more convenient for people than focusing on the large issues.. and I'm a victim of this too. Path of least resistance and all. About trans people, I fully agree with you. It's an unfortunate situation and I hope that more people start to respect trans people as time goes on

I can't be the only one that thinks this, right?

No, you certainly aren't the only one especially since I think the same too lol.

I hate this "it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem" argument. I can think of like a 100 problems off the top of my head that aren't temporary and can stick with you until the day you die.

I feel like 100 is way too low for the different ways in which problems are permanent. Though it gets more complicated when you consider other angles of this. Like, for example, there are temporary problems that could leave a permanent scar on someone. All in all, I think the suicide permanent solution blah blah quote is one of the worst ones they've used. It made me want death more instead of less lmao

 

[Deleted member 65988]

All in all, I think the suicide permanent solution blah blah quote is one of the worst ones they've used. It made me want death more instead of less lmao

It's probably the most overused one. You've hit the nail on the head though.

 

[Kit1]

I think a lot of people are genuinely scared of death and the unknown and prefer to find comfort in the known. Hence all the arguments against suicide.