Tragoedia Vitae
Experienced
- Oct 14, 2018
- 230
I just can't deal with other people's expectations now, I just can't. I'm falling apart, and it's hard enough for me to even get out of bed. Yet other people expect me to be able to do all kinds of things quickly and effortlessly. And if I can't live up to their ridiculous, impossible expectations because of my crippling depression and autism, I'm obviously being lazy and irresponsible.
My executive functioning is all shot to hell. I can't concentrate on anything for longer than half a second. It takes me so much effort just to comb my hair and brush my teeth....but I'm somehow expected to be able to churn out dozens of flawlessly written pages in a record amount of time. People always underestimate and trivialize my limitations (which are all too real and serious), and I can't stand it anymore. They always have this fantastical, delusional image of me in which my capabilities are limitless and I can do anything as long as I put my mind to it. They think that I should be able to blast through all of my problems with pure willpower alone.
I'm tired of people not bothering to communicate with me and expecting me to read their minds-----they have all kinds of nonsensical rules in their heads which I'm expected to be able to automatically grasp. They can't even use their own damn words to convey their thoughts, yet they expect me to be able to do a long list of complex tasks just like that *snaps fingers.* I just can't deal with the utter shittiness of people.
All I want to do is curl up in my bed and read books, play video games, watch movies.....or get in my car and drive somewhere very, very far away.
My executive functioning is all shot to hell. I can't concentrate on anything for longer than half a second. It takes me so much effort just to comb my hair and brush my teeth....but I'm somehow expected to be able to churn out dozens of flawlessly written pages in a record amount of time. People always underestimate and trivialize my limitations (which are all too real and serious), and I can't stand it anymore. They always have this fantastical, delusional image of me in which my capabilities are limitless and I can do anything as long as I put my mind to it. They think that I should be able to blast through all of my problems with pure willpower alone.
I'm tired of people not bothering to communicate with me and expecting me to read their minds-----they have all kinds of nonsensical rules in their heads which I'm expected to be able to automatically grasp. They can't even use their own damn words to convey their thoughts, yet they expect me to be able to do a long list of complex tasks just like that *snaps fingers.* I just can't deal with the utter shittiness of people.
All I want to do is curl up in my bed and read books, play video games, watch movies.....or get in my car and drive somewhere very, very far away.
