Discussion People want us to live because others have it worse

[tommyhalpinkelly]

"Someone ALWAYS has it worse" - pro-lifers

Yea, so I'm supposed to tolerate a miserable existence because someone somewhere might have an ever worse existence. What kind of crap is this? I'm a relatively calm person but I wish the slowest painful death to any pro-lifer who says this.

 

[Trashcan]

It doesn't make any logical sense.

 

[OnlyMercy]

Be happy with your situation because someone has it worse.

At the very same moment, don't be happy with your situation because someone has it better.

 

[Tiredandfedup]

"Someone ALWAYS has it worse" - pro-lifers

Yea, so I'm supposed to tolerate a miserable existence because someone somewhere might have an ever worse existence. What kind of crap is this? I'm a relatively calm person but I wish the slowest painful death to any pro-lifer who says this.

This is such a emotional black mailing tool used by those who have no clue about anything. No one has the right to say you're not suffering as much as someone else is. We all have our own mountains to climb and we all have our limits which are individual to us. Don't ever let anyone manipulate you by comparing you to someone else. Sometimes it helps to know that someone has managed to cope with what may seem worse conditions but that shouldn't mean your feelings are not valid. I'm sorry your going through a tough time, I hope you get the support you need here.

 

[hunter_lewis]

We all know that there are terrible slums in the world, where people live in poverty and in dirt with no food or water-and yet it doesn't make my feet or back hurt one bit less than if I didn't know.
So no, I will not accept living just because someone has it worse. They might just be better off because I am dead-less people, less resources needed, less global warming and so more resources for the poorest in our world.
So don't ever let crap like that keep you from making your own decision, but be happy for what you have anyway.

 

[tevati]

It doesn't make any logical sense.

It's is more meant as something "feel better over someone else" and revalue you own life.

 

[Knight Artorias]

"Someone ALWAYS has it worse" - pro-lifers

Yea, so I'm supposed to tolerate a miserable existence because someone somewhere might have an ever worse existence. What kind of crap is this? I'm a relatively calm person but I wish the slowest painful death to any pro-lifer who says this.

I see the argument that suicide and self harm is considering "Weak" and "cowardly". The only people who've made that argument usually are under the belief that just because they went through a hardship in life and never did those things, that everyone else can too. Or they've never been in the prospective of individuals like most here. It's easy to think of something like that when you've never truly felt it yourself. Even if you have felt it and still believe that it's silly. Everyone handles pain and stress differently. Just because you survived doesn't mean the rest of us have that ability. This isn't directed at anyone here or OP. I'm just ranting I guess lol. My bad

 

[FornaxMM]

I hear "____ got through it so you can too" a lot as well even though that person might be in a completely different situation.

 

[tommyhalpinkelly]

I see the argument that suicide and self harm is considering "Weak" and "cowardly". The only people who've made that argument usually are under the belief that just because they went through a hardship in life and never did those things, that everyone else can too. Or they've never been in the prospective of individuals like most here. It's easy to think of something like that when you've never truly felt it yourself. Even if you have felt it and still believe that it's silly. Everyone handles pain and stress differently. Just because you survived doesn't mean the rest of us have that ability. This isn't directed at anyone here or OP. I'm just ranting I guess lol. My bad

Even then, in the animal kingdom, there are always the weak and strong. People have no problem accepting that yet they think everyone must endure a harsh live and die a "natural" death. Idiots.

 

[Sad Panda]

Your suffering is not invalidated because some one has it worse. It's all about perspective. Just because someone else is doing ok in a crappier situation than me doesn't mean I'm not at the end of my rope.

 

[bigj75]

That has some merit to it but suffering is subjective.

The merit I'm speaking about is that of course you can be appreciative that your life isn't as bad as others but each individual person has their own limit to how much they can handle in life before they break.

 

[LiveSlowDieFast]

I think the fact that life is so utterly horrible for so many people (especially in war-torn places) makes me want to leave this world even more. Even then, my problems are fairly small compared to many here or elsewhere and yet I still feel like I'd much rather be dead. Not everyone can be happy.

Even then, in the animal kingdom, there are always the weak and strong. People have no problem accepting that yet they think everyone must endure a harsh live and die a "natural" death. Idiots.

I think that comes from a weird contradiction between two conflicting ideas.

One is that, thanks to modern medicine and social safety nets, everyone gets a chance at life, which is inherently good, as everyone should get this chance. Everyone who wants to live should be allowed to do so and it means that people who might have not survived in earlier times (perhaps due to a disability) are now able to live and partake in society. That is fantastic and it should have eliminated the distinction between the weak and strong.

However, at the same time there is an extreme emphasis on constant and unforgiving competition in modern western societies. Be it economically, socially or politically. That means that if you don't manage to win you're pretty much fucked and in the eyes of most people you're seen as "weak". Basically, you're only worth something if you produce value, are popular and some shitty ivory-tower bureaucrats think you deserve equal rights. If not, then you deserve to be miserable and that's why you have to constantly struggle and compete. I think this kind of attitude affects all areas of life, which results in this expectation that you have to "fight" with as much power as you have for your life, no matter in how much pain you are.

 

[Kingkelly]

"Someone ALWAYS has it worse" - pro-lifers

Yea, so I'm supposed to tolerate a miserable existence because someone somewhere might have an ever worse existence. What kind of crap is this? I'm a relatively calm person but I wish the slowest painful death to any pro-lifer who says this.

I hear this everyday from people when they've are talking to me about my situation and it personally makes me more upset and hurt when I hear it. Like yes I get it but that isn't my situation its theirs and they can choose to deal with it however they want. Yes my life isn't that bad as others but I made a huge mistake that can't be taken back and I refuse to live and everyone says I should get over it which makes Me want to CBT even more. They don't understand my pain

 

[AndyCurious]

Only one thing to say then..: Don't compare yourself to others, or your pain to others' pain. We each have a breaking point that is uniquely our own..<3

 

[Smilla]

As I've said before I had a shrink say this to me once—something about since I wasn't living in Syria and being bombed everyday I should be grateful.

I have food, clothing, and shelter. And my physical safety is not in imminent danger but what makes life worthwhile IMO are intimate connections, work you enjoy or semi enjoy, and the feeling that you are a good person and others respect you.

I have none of these things, and suffer minute by minute from PTSD symptoms related to childhood trauma and relatively recent life events that have left me a literal shell of a human being.

Would bet that there are homeless people who are happier than me.

Take Christopher Reeves for instance. Everyone lauded him for going on (and am happy he did) BUT he had support in the form of a loving family and financial assistance. If many of us were to end up in a similar physical state we would be living miserably amongst strangers in a cold dank nursing home.

It's simply not an even playing field.

 

[Jen Erik]

I always reply, "By that logic, I can't be happy, either, because there is always going to be someone happier than me."

 

[GeorgeEastman]

Whoever has it worse is even dumber for keeping on putting up with it.

 

[Jodes]

As I've said before I had a shrink say this to me once—something about since I wasn't living in Syria and being bombed everyday I should be grateful.

I have food, clothing, and shelter. And my physical safety is not in imminent danger but what makes life worthwhile IMO are intimate connections, work you enjoy or semi enjoy, and the feeling that you are a good person and others respect you.

I have none of these things, and suffer minute by minute from PTSD symptoms related to childhood trauma and relatively recent life events that have left me a literal shell of a human being.

Would bet that there are homeless people who are happier than me.

Take Christopher Reeves for instance. Everyone lauded him for going on (and am happy he did) BUT he had support in the form of a loving family and financial assistance. If many of us were to end up in a similar physical state we would be living miserably amongst strangers in a cold dank nursing home.

It's simply not an even playing field.

Comparing one mans suffering to another is unfair. It us something that can only be measured internally

But relatively if positions were to be reversed....

 

[52shriek]

Any of those prolifers using this argument, do you think they would have made that speech to Robin Williams? Just a thought.

 

[Essie]

Honest to God, if someone tells me this ONE more time I WILL hang myself in front of them! These "mythical" people who not only have it worse but handle it better. I am still working on way to not go insane when this is said to me.

Edit: Oh, want to add that I have repeatedly flipped the coin on them, then pointing out all the people who have it better, and their reply is, "Stop comparing yourself to others," lol. They didn't get the irony.

 

[Jodes]

Any of those prolifers using this argument, do you think they would have made that speech to Robin Williams? Just a thought.

Can you imagine his guilt for success, how ironicvir whatever

 

[Jen Erik]

Whoever has it worse is even dumber for keeping on putting up with it.

 

[Jodes]

Honest to God, if someone tells me this ONE more time I WILL hang myself in front of them! These "mythical" people who not only have it worse but handle it better. I am still working on way to not go insane when this is said to me.

Cos of the guilt and shame?

 

[letmeseethedeath]

"Someone ALWAYS has it worse" - pro-lifers

Yea, so I'm supposed to tolerate a miserable existence because someone somewhere might have an ever worse existence. What kind of crap is this? I'm a relatively calm person but I wish the slowest painful death to any pro-lifer who says this.

ye people always tell me thinking it will make me feel better and ops guess what, i just wanna die lol

 

[Essie]

Cos of the guilt and shame?

No, irritation. I am being dramatic when I say this (hanging myself). It is absolutely obnoxious and unsympathetic to the person suffering and adds no constructive help--just a way of using made-up people to bolster their opinions of you.

 

[Jodes]

ye people always tell me thinking it will make me feel better and ops guess what, i just wanna die lol

Maybe society is better off without some people who feel like me (i'm omly debasing myself, a person's worth is his own measure), but to preserve humanity's confidence in it's own humanity, the person is rejected and forced into misery without so much as a trial, rather than be allowed to do himself and humanity some "good" if he really wants to die, if humanity actually believes in and has compassion for ANY AND ALL suffering

 

[Kingkelly]

Honest to God, if someone tells me this ONE more time I WILL hang myself in front of them! These "mythical" people who not only have it worse but handle it better. I am still working on way to not go insane when this is said to me.

Edit: Oh, want to add that I have repeatedly flipped the coin on them, then pointing out all the people who have it better, and their reply is, "Stop comparing yourself to others," lol. They didn't get the irony.

I couldn't have said it better myself. Lol they dont get it. Good post.

 

[TAW122]

It's nothing more than a guilt-trip and also there is the classic line that religious people like to use, which is "There are starving kids in Africa (or insert location)." I really hate it too when they resort to such jabs as it is minimizing and trivializing one's plight.

 

[hunter_lewis]

You can be hot, have heaps of money and have everything-but all of that doesn't matter much if you are lonely, in pain or miserable. Just look at Avicii or Kurt Cobain-even they killed themselves

 

[Louise]

I hear this everyday from people when they've are talking to me about my situation and it personally makes me more upset and hurt when I hear it. Like yes I get it but that isn't my situation its theirs and they can choose to deal with it however they want. Yes my life isn't that bad as others but I made a huge mistake that can't be taken back and I refuse to live and everyone says I should get over it which makes Me want to CBT even more. They don't understand my pain

I too have just one mistake that can't be taken back. People also tell me to get over it but the guilt is overwhelming and ongoing. I had no choice in it either, the loss of control also makes me sick and my life is a waking nightmare.

Suffering is indeed subjective, I know undoubtedly that most others in my shoes would not be affected as I have or wish their child hadn't been born. I feel the effects every hour of every day.

As someone already said above, by that logic we can also say don't feel happy with your situation because others have it better. It's nonsense.