People only like you when your problems are manageable.

[Water-Lily]

Since I am too different due to trauma standards, there is no place for me

In battling the possibility of losing my grandmother, the best thing I can do for the people around me is keep away

No one can mentally handle the level of CPTSD type trauma I carry

Not even my therapist

Some people are just too damaged for anyone to connect with

People like me because I mask well, not because of who I am

No one wants to stand with someone who has so much baggage and pain

My own mom was an abuser who I also stupidly care about

Losing her was complex and now I might lose my grandma

Its too much to handle

I am the outsider

I don't care if the isolation is bad for me

Sometimes preventing people from experiencing who you are is beneficial to them

If my trauma was more normal, people would like me

It is what it is

 

[mortuarymary]

Of course they do!
Folks don't like to get their hands dirty and get involved.
I prefer isolation

 

[Suicidebydeath]

This is unfortunately true, since masking helps connect with more people, even our closest friends can appreciate it. I'm sorry for your situation. You can be yourself sometimes, if you find understanding people. I'm sorry that you have to go through this, it's quite a lot to bear.

 

[Water-Lily]

Sadly, I am not the perfect victim

I am not the perfect victim society expects of me

When I die, people will feel sad but not for the reasons you think

They will feel bad for the person they think I am, not who I am

 

[meowmix]

the title is especially relatable to me. my partner even took a break from me because i was bringing too much baggage.

 

[Water-Lily]

the title is especially relatable to me. my partner even took a break from me because i was bringing too much baggage.

it makes me think that maybe people like us are too undesirable

Society wants to everyone to live but they only want high functioning normal people who don't have heavy baggage to deal with

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I may just be incredibly cynical but I believe that people only like you if you have something of value to give to them. It doesn't matter whether your problems are manageable or not to them, what matters to them is the things they get out of you

 

[Water-Lily]

I think I need to do myself a favor and cut off/block everyone I am connected with

They should blissfully be around normal people who are normal have baggage that makes them different

I give them false hope presenting like I am like them, when I am not

 

[Water-Lily]

Society doesn't like traumatized black girls

It's one thing being black

It's one thing to be a woman

Being both leaves as an undesirable at the claws of racism and sexism

Sometimes I wonder if I was white if life would be easier for me

 

[hopeurhappylb]

It's miserable that society is like this, You'll get affection and help if you have a broken arm since it will heal eventually, but people don't want to deal with someone who has long term struggles. they just want you to "get over it" like you would heal from a physical injury. And if you aren't the perfect victim, then they care even less. No one is willing to actually help another human being if they deem it as "too much work"

 

[nembutal]

well no shit. no body likes to add another string of suffering into their lives. that's why i prioritized getting better (to some degree at least) so i can be worthwhile to others

 

[exiled]

Oof, this one punched me in the gut. I feel this so deep within my soul.

 

[Silent Raindrops]

As a saying goes that I see a lot of on Facebook.... People never see the good things you do, but they're quick to let you know the bad things you do.

 

[Kit1]

Water-Lily, I hear you and I really feel for you. You are right - as a fellow sufferer with CPTSD, autism and other stuff, all the doors have been closed for me as well. Unless we are the "perfect victims " - nothing ro do with colour though. Society would prefer quick fix challenges and when they see a complex challenge, rather than finding a way to help, they hide, belittle, judge and discriminate against us and back off an be doing all of this, they make us feel that it is our fault so they can sleep better with a "clear conscience". I am so sorry that you have found yourself here.., At least, it is a place where people are more likely to listen and be accepting.., Best wishes

 

[IonicLemon69]

Honestly.. so true. I'm sorry for everything you are & have gone through.