People not liking you

[goodoldnoname923]

It's a painful experience especially when the person in question is someone you like (and i'm not just talking romantically btw) like there is many people i find myself attracted to (again i don't mean like that) yet not only do they often not notice me or have an indifference to me which can be bad enough in its self but actively dislike me

Wether it be for something i've done or something they've heard or a certain personality trait i have or among other or multiple things i haven't mentioned

You can't make someone like you as much as you may want to but it genuinely kills the fuck out of me when people don't…it adds to my will to CTB

How do i deal with that?…genuinely i always try to please these people or seek approval validation and attention from them but i feel like i actively go out of jy way and destory myself to not even get anything from it in the end anyway…

 

[untothedepths]

I think the only way to care is to not care and become so close to others. This sounds very selfish I guess, but after enduring this type of problem for a very long time I don't know what else would help. I don't mean you can't show basic human decency, of course do so, but I think the closest word would be to treat every friendship as fair weather. How to implement this, don't know, trying to work on it myself. Have been, for years. I try not to think so much about what other people think of me, but my brain is wired to care about caring about them and also spending significant brain power on hoping people aren't upset with me. It's so exhausting. IMO its like working against your innate nature.

 

[idk3]

I wish I knew too.

Acceptance is a basic psychological need, yet so many of us don't get these needs met even as kids. It's a big part why I'm here, and I think seeing my twin sibling always succeed effortlessly made things worse for me.

I'm so worn down from it all, and tired from trying to change myself only to keep coming up short time after time.

 

[archiveofpain]

I don't have any kind of solution to it but I struggle a lot in the same way. I tend to get very excited about people very quickly and this makes me bend over to them so they can like me, and while with some people work, others tend to just be indifferent or just not care as much as I do and it really triggers my feelings of rejection. And besides that, there's also the fact of them never even attempting to know me in the same way that I do for them so I have reached the point of being more selfish because if no one else is going to care about you like you care about them it's not worth investing your time.

Then again it's more easy to say this than apply it because it's quite difficult to pry yourself away from the thoughts or feelings about not being liked but I find that when I remind myself that I am putting energy into something that is making me feel bad and that I shouldn't do that to myself, it helps me let go

 

[jarik]

i know