Venting People don´t get suicidal thought are chronical for many people

[TheGoodGuy]

I am not saying for all people but still for many people it is I made a thread with a poll a few years ago where I asked when people became suicidal and most people answered in their early teens (can´t find it I should make a new one) and by then they were in their twenties still people think suicidal thought are curable in ALL people I am not denying it is in some people although I don´t recognize these as true suicidal people "just" because they lost their job or gf/bf and became depressed and suicidal for a few months or maybe a year to me it´s not the same as getting depression and suicidal thoughts through the hormonal changes in teenage years like I did at 14 I have had suicidal thoughts every since so to me it was a hormonal change that caused it and I know it is to others too and you can´t be cured by that not by medicine or talks to a shrink!

Earlier today I played with some people online and told them I was drunk again and they started talking about depression and drinking and you could hear the prejudice in their voices like people are not allowed to feel this way, I get it comes from a good place that they don´t want us to feel this way but this is not something that is gonna change and they don´t get that it´s just the way I am for the remainder of my hopefully relative short life so if I need to drink once in a while to get a decent day to be able to cope with all those horrible days in life I think it´s worth it well it should be in pro-lifers eyes because another day alive is a win for them right? But anyways these pro-lifer people just don´t get that just can´t get cured for suicidal thoughts at least not for the majority, I have had suicidal and depressive thought for 15 years so my I still think the younger someone ctb the better because it´s just many years of suffering that they save themselves from, had I done it all those years ago even at 19yo I had saved myself from 10 years of pain and suffering where I had but 1 good experience in 10 fucking years that is not a life worth living.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I wish I had a died at 19 too. I can't say that currently 19 year-olds should die to spare themselves suffering because I have the benefit of hindsight (though it was pretty obvious back then anyways, as may be in some currently 19 year-olds' cases).

The general public definitely has trouble understanding the chronic nature of some people's suicidal ideation.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

I can't say that currently 19 year-olds should die to spare themselves suffering because I have the benefit of hindsight

Doesn´t it suck though that we have to consider every reply (in real life or online) as if we´re on trial? I would love to say what I really think but it´s not allowed because of the rules or maybe even law I don´t know. Should 19yo ctb I can´t say I just now I would love to go back and go through with it just let me be able to die back then, save me from all this suffering and (keep me frozen in time @ifeelthelight)

 

[d3j3ct3dl0s3r05]

Yeah sometimes a seemingly miniscule event ends up being what makes someone pull the trigger (or in my case since strict gun laws, tie the noose) but it is silly to assume the action simply manifested out of nowhere. In my case, it's the fact that my childhood and adolescence were spent wanting to die and despite remaining hopeful and trying to better myself, bad things just kept happening to me. It's annoying that pro-lifers expect anyone, let alone a bloody child or teen, to somehow have the emotional strength to power through repeated negative experiences whilst unsupported. I remember trying to hang myself with a shoelace at 8 so it's not my continued existence demonstrates "resilience" or anything, like I was 8, wtf would that word or concept even mean to me at the time. All I wanted was to end my pain and not have to suffer abuse at the hands (figuratively and literally speaking) of my mother.

Young people are supposedly too immature to CTB but also mature enough to "get over" the long-term consequences of sustained childhood abuse and social isolation/exclusion at school and in other places. God I hate pro-lifers. All they know how to do is recycle the same empty platitudes they use for every other issue and get you arrested and detained in a hospital if you even try to open up slightly. Even if you're in recovery, you're not even allowed to have bad days and must be happy-go-lucky 24/7

 

[sserafim]

I am not saying for all people but still for many people it is I made a thread with a poll a few years ago where I asked when people became suicidal and most people answered in their early teens (can´t find it I should make a new one) and by then they were in their twenties still people think suicidal thought are curable in ALL people I am not denying it is in some people although I don´t recognize these as true suicidal people "just" because they lost their job or gf/bf and became depressed and suicidal for a few months or maybe a year to me it´s not the same as getting depression and suicidal thoughts through the hormonal changes in teenage years like I did at 14 I have had suicidal thoughts every since so to me it was a hormonal change that caused it and I know it is to others too and you can´t be cured by that not by medicine or talks to a shrink!

Earlier today I played with some people online and told them I was drunk again and they started talking about depression and drinking and you could hear the prejudice in their voices like people are not allowed to feel this way, I get it comes from a good place that they don´t want us to feel this way but this is not something that is gonna change and they don´t get that it´s just the way I am for the remainder of my hopefully relative short life so if I need to drink once in a while to get a decent day to be able to cope with all those horrible days in life I think it´s worth it well it should be in pro-lifers eyes because another day alive is a win for them right? But anyways these pro-lifer people just don´t get that just can´t get cured for suicidal thoughts at least not for the majority, I have had suicidal and depressive thought for 15 years so my I still think the younger someone ctb the better because it´s just many years of suffering that they save themselves from, had I done it all those years ago even at 19yo I had saved myself from 10 years of pain and suffering where I had but 1 good experience in 10 fucking years that is not a life worth living.

Same! I wish I had died at 19. I never even wanted to live past 18 anyways but sadly I'm 23 now. But I will die before I reach 24! I will stay forever young and never have to grow up or get any older anymore

Also, life in adulthood is just suffering. I wish I checked out when I was a teenager and never had to experience what being an adult is like. I hate the fact that you have to work for a living and be a slave to the capitalist system. I want out, and I will get out! Fuck this stupid system and society honestly, it's just a pyramid scheme where people are forced to work. It's modern day slavery and I refuse to be a part of it

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Same! I wish I had died at 19. I never even wanted to live past 18 anyways but sadly I'm 23 now. But I will die before I reach 24! I will stay forever young and never have to grow up or get any older anymore

Also, life in adulthood is just suffering. I wish I checked out when I was a teenager and never had to experience what being an adult is like. I hate the fact that you have to work for a living and be a slave to the capitalist system. I want out, and I will get out! Fuck this stupid system and society honestly, it's just a pyramid scheme where people are forced to work. It's modern day slavery and I refuse to be a part of it

 

[FuneralCry]

Pro-lifers are just delusional, insensitive and lack any awareness, in my case wanting to die is all that feels right, to me it feels like the only rational response to existing here, I just wish I never existed at all and I believe the less time spent suffering in this cruel and meaningless existence the better.

 

[obsoletewreck]

Pro-lifers are just delusional, insensitive and lack any awareness, in my case wanting to die is all that feels right, to me it feels like the only rational response to existing here, I just wish I never existed at all and I believe the less time spent suffering in this cruel and meaningless existence the better.

I agree 200%. Even though I can't deny I've had some good times, it doesnt even come close to balancing out the bad. I've been so tired for so long and no matter what, even when it seems things might be getting better, I always end up with ctb on my mind.

It's like a unstable roller coaster that starts off real high: consecutive heavy downhills with a few short ups while scared for my life the entire time. Shit just keeps getting worse with some memorable moments in between, but no matter what I do, I just can't escape this everlasting cycle of pain.

I just can't see it being worthwhile man. I can't keep doing this. I don't know how much longer I have left, but I know for sure it isn't long.

 

[fxxhan175]

I still find it morbidly hilarious that by definition depression can be diagnosed in someone who has experienced persistent feelings of sadness for 2 weeks. And then they find therapy/get on medication/and it just...goes away?? I've talked to some people who speak about their depression and suicidal ideation in past tense like "when I was depressed..." and it just seems so unfathomable to me that people have been able to treat their MI like some kind of textbook illness. Like damn I wish I could have had that experience but unfortunately I've been strapped with passive and active suicidal ideation since I was 12. Lucky me!