KuriGohan&Kamehameha
想死不能 - 想活不能
- Nov 23, 2020
- 1,682
80 years of misery versus say, I dunno, 25 years of pleasure and fulfillment, is not the path I want to take. Yet this is the expectation we are saddled with at birth, live as long as possible- even if merely being conscious is agonising for you.
This world is obsessed with prolonging life, rather than increasing the value, quality, and enjoyment of it. For the majority of human history and civilization, people and animals have suffered in cruel and injust ways, yet this was seen as a necessary sacrifice in exchange in return for the gift of life. Survive and reproduce programming was operating at full force.
The advent of religion only solidified this mantra. You should feel blessed to be alive, no matter how listless and torturous that existence is. There is something inherently special and beautiful about life, that has been bestowed upon us by some magnanimous creator.
This poses the question, what is the benefit of self-awareness if it inevitably leads you to question this idea? Why do we value life so much (as a basal state of being) rather than valuing the measurement of one's satisfaction in life? Why force existence upon those who are clearly suffering and begging for a way out of what feels like a never ending trap?
People project their own fear of death unto the suicidal, or anyone who is nonchalant about mortality. There is a culture of "health" and longevity, but not true wellness. If a person enjoys something that may decrease their lifespan, and subsequently, their productivity, the object of enjoyment will be demonised. No one stops to think that without things to make it bearable, life will be a meaningless slog. You'll have no reason to go on if you're simply surviving and existing without purpose and joy.
This is why we have a borderline nanny state in many countries. By default, most people think life should be sustained at any cost. Think of doctors and health care staff who knowingly and willingly extend the suffering of those who were in terrible accidents- individuals who will never walk, talk, eat, think, breathe, or wake on their own without the aid of machines.
This doesn't just apply to people who will never be conscious again and are permanently paralyzed. The health care field fucks over the general populace everyday due to this enshrined bias of quantity of life having more value than quality. Think of how villified painkillers have become in many countries. Even if someone's quality of life suffers greatly due to intense, sustained, chronic pain, the majority of doctors and health care workers care more about saving their own asses from liability rather than what is best for you.
No one factors quality of life into the equation. I don't give a shit if opioids decrease my lifespan by a few years, my lifespan is already shortened because I'm ill, and I would rather have some semblance of relief than spend the entire duration of it laid up in pain. People chastise me about taking other drugs like weed, as if this country doesn't have a drinking problem and a fixation with a far worse drug- alcohol.
This phenomenon trickles down into other aspects of life. I've had other women berate me because I can't wear a tampon, saying it's "not healthy to be afraid of penetration". First off, who gets to decide what is healthy and what isn't? Why is it anyone's business it I choose to wear a tampon or a pad? They aren't the ones who had to be traumatized and scarred for life by sexual abuse, yet they want to make judgements about "health" as the reality of the situation makes them uncomfortable.
This attitude underpins the attitude of the "get the help you need" crowd as well. They don't seem to actually care what is best for the individual in question, a great deal of them are more concerned with their own issues, and simply want you to be quiet and leave them alone because the subject is too stressful. By branding the suffering individual as someone who has refused help, rather than acknowledging that the help is not actually working, it's easier to shift blame and pretend that systemic issues in the health care industry do not exist.
The same applies to people who do actually mean well and worry about your wellbeing. The vast majority of humans will never accept ctb as a valid option, even as an absolute last resort. So rather than respecting your wishes, and evaluating if there are any other options left, people jump the gun and start getting accusatory, calling you selfish, mentally ill, delusional, and whatnot.
In my opinion, life is meaningless without some semblance of happiness. By trying to micromanage every aspect of it to prolong existence rather than prolonging pleasure, we are subjected to an extortionately exploitative rat race where everyone competes for survival. I don't think that life can be perfect, not by any means, you cannot plan, design, and craft something subject to entropic chaos after all.
However, I don't think my life is worth living if I get 0 freedom or agency in my decisions or the resources available to me, on account of my supposed health. I am tired of being disabled, hurting, and in pain. I want to be here for a good time, not a long time, and I'm sure many would agree. Just some ramblings I have while waiting for my SN and meto to arrive.
What do you all think?
This world is obsessed with prolonging life, rather than increasing the value, quality, and enjoyment of it. For the majority of human history and civilization, people and animals have suffered in cruel and injust ways, yet this was seen as a necessary sacrifice in exchange in return for the gift of life. Survive and reproduce programming was operating at full force.
The advent of religion only solidified this mantra. You should feel blessed to be alive, no matter how listless and torturous that existence is. There is something inherently special and beautiful about life, that has been bestowed upon us by some magnanimous creator.
This poses the question, what is the benefit of self-awareness if it inevitably leads you to question this idea? Why do we value life so much (as a basal state of being) rather than valuing the measurement of one's satisfaction in life? Why force existence upon those who are clearly suffering and begging for a way out of what feels like a never ending trap?
People project their own fear of death unto the suicidal, or anyone who is nonchalant about mortality. There is a culture of "health" and longevity, but not true wellness. If a person enjoys something that may decrease their lifespan, and subsequently, their productivity, the object of enjoyment will be demonised. No one stops to think that without things to make it bearable, life will be a meaningless slog. You'll have no reason to go on if you're simply surviving and existing without purpose and joy.
This is why we have a borderline nanny state in many countries. By default, most people think life should be sustained at any cost. Think of doctors and health care staff who knowingly and willingly extend the suffering of those who were in terrible accidents- individuals who will never walk, talk, eat, think, breathe, or wake on their own without the aid of machines.
This doesn't just apply to people who will never be conscious again and are permanently paralyzed. The health care field fucks over the general populace everyday due to this enshrined bias of quantity of life having more value than quality. Think of how villified painkillers have become in many countries. Even if someone's quality of life suffers greatly due to intense, sustained, chronic pain, the majority of doctors and health care workers care more about saving their own asses from liability rather than what is best for you.
No one factors quality of life into the equation. I don't give a shit if opioids decrease my lifespan by a few years, my lifespan is already shortened because I'm ill, and I would rather have some semblance of relief than spend the entire duration of it laid up in pain. People chastise me about taking other drugs like weed, as if this country doesn't have a drinking problem and a fixation with a far worse drug- alcohol.
This phenomenon trickles down into other aspects of life. I've had other women berate me because I can't wear a tampon, saying it's "not healthy to be afraid of penetration". First off, who gets to decide what is healthy and what isn't? Why is it anyone's business it I choose to wear a tampon or a pad? They aren't the ones who had to be traumatized and scarred for life by sexual abuse, yet they want to make judgements about "health" as the reality of the situation makes them uncomfortable.
This attitude underpins the attitude of the "get the help you need" crowd as well. They don't seem to actually care what is best for the individual in question, a great deal of them are more concerned with their own issues, and simply want you to be quiet and leave them alone because the subject is too stressful. By branding the suffering individual as someone who has refused help, rather than acknowledging that the help is not actually working, it's easier to shift blame and pretend that systemic issues in the health care industry do not exist.
The same applies to people who do actually mean well and worry about your wellbeing. The vast majority of humans will never accept ctb as a valid option, even as an absolute last resort. So rather than respecting your wishes, and evaluating if there are any other options left, people jump the gun and start getting accusatory, calling you selfish, mentally ill, delusional, and whatnot.
In my opinion, life is meaningless without some semblance of happiness. By trying to micromanage every aspect of it to prolong existence rather than prolonging pleasure, we are subjected to an extortionately exploitative rat race where everyone competes for survival. I don't think that life can be perfect, not by any means, you cannot plan, design, and craft something subject to entropic chaos after all.
However, I don't think my life is worth living if I get 0 freedom or agency in my decisions or the resources available to me, on account of my supposed health. I am tired of being disabled, hurting, and in pain. I want to be here for a good time, not a long time, and I'm sure many would agree. Just some ramblings I have while waiting for my SN and meto to arrive.
What do you all think?
