T
Torao
Forced to exist
- Nov 22, 2022
- 1
I came clean about my mental health to my family at the beginning of this year. At first, they were like "You're not alone, we'll support you no matter what, just be happy and healthy." and suggested I go to therapy, they did stuff that would cheer me up for a short while.
A few weeks later, they went back to normal as if nothing ever happened and I didn't really care about that and tried to keep moving forward. Recent months have been stressful and rough for me so I talked to my mother about how much I was struggling and she said to my face "What a disappointment you are, why don't you suck it all up and prove you're not a failure?"
What did I expect? It was foolish of me to not ctb in January thinking it would hurt them. I'm a complete mess now, I can't even enjoy anything and I'm irritated all the time, it feels like I'm going to explode at any moment. I hate these emotions, everything became so shitty that I simply want to not exist anymore.
A few weeks later, they went back to normal as if nothing ever happened and I didn't really care about that and tried to keep moving forward. Recent months have been stressful and rough for me so I talked to my mother about how much I was struggling and she said to my face "What a disappointment you are, why don't you suck it all up and prove you're not a failure?"
What did I expect? It was foolish of me to not ctb in January thinking it would hurt them. I'm a complete mess now, I can't even enjoy anything and I'm irritated all the time, it feels like I'm going to explode at any moment. I hate these emotions, everything became so shitty that I simply want to not exist anymore.
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