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noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
5,789
In school I read books of Max Frisch. A common topic is a "verfehltes Leben" (failed existence). There is an issue in a figure that leads to the fact that the life of this person fails morally, ethically, structurally but also in total. For example denying a personal responsiblity always suppressing your guilt (living your life like that) which causes only more trouble, destruction and guilt.

My point is failure stories are good material for literature. One can learn from them. But does it nurture your soul if this is the only thing you consume? I don't know. When I wrote stories my friends called it misery porn and I think the stories were not good at all.

In the media we hear all the time tragic stories but don't we get used and numb towards it?

Who do we want to be friends with losers or winners? Actually it is more complicated like that. I like that most of my friends also struggle to find a partner. I think my pain would be even worse if everyone of them was successful with the ladies. It is not black and white.

But it is a fact that many of us don't open up because they fear stigmatization.
 
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SVEN

SVEN

I Wish I'd Been a Jester Too.
Apr 3, 2023
2,524
I relate better to failure than to success, but then I have little experience of the one and much experience of the other.
 
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Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
11,304
Maybe we just seek out the people we relate or aspire to most. My former bosses used to read autobiographies by entrepreneurs. Made sense really. A guide on how to succeed in a way. I agree though, I think for people who are deeply struggling and losing hope rapidly, seeing success stories all over the place can feel like rubbing salt in a wound. Misery loves company and all that.

I tend to be closer friends to people who are also struggling in life. Maybe it isn't good to wallow in it though. My Dad was horrible about my friends in the past. That I seemed to attract 'lame ducks'. I just thought- your own ego won't see how messed up I am!

I don't know really. I have to be in the right frame of mind to witness success stories. I don't usually feel strong enough to stomach it. I think a lot of the time, we maybe seek out things that confirm our own biases on life. I used to be quite obsessed with (actually very tragic) disasters like in Chernobyl, Bhopal, The Boeing Max, various building collapses. Because they all reinforced my view that the world is so corrupt. Money comes first. Individuals (sociopaths) will ensure that companies put profits over people's safety. It maybe just justified and reinforced my reasons for hating this world. (Some of it anyway.)
 

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