Parents don’t care

[airboy_a380]

Does any of you feel like your parents don't care? I mean they know I'm depressed, I can be in my room for days, and they don't even knock on the door and ask if I'm ok. Nothing, it's like I don't exist. They say I'm not depressed that I'm just a bum, that hurts every time, and cause they are super religious think all I need is Jesus. 5 suicide attempts, 2 weeks hospitalised last year, I'm all bruised and stitched up cause I've tried to slit my arms. And still I'm all alone.
I hope that one day if I ctb they regret forever for not caring or showing any love to me when I most needed. You guys are all I have. I just joined yesterday, and probably wont get many replies. But it's nice to write how I feel and not having my posts deleted.

 

[Tigeress Lost]

Does any of you feel like your parents don't care? I mean they know I'm depressed, I can be in my room for days, and they don't even knock on the door and ask if I'm ok. Nothing, it's like I don't exist. They say I'm not depressed that I'm just a bum, that hurts every time, and cause they are super religious think all I need is Jesus. 5 suicide attempts, 2 weeks hospitalised last year, I'm all bruised and stitched up cause I've tried to slit my arms. And still I'm all alone.
I hope that one day if I ctb they regret forever for not caring or showing any love to me when I most needed. You guys are all I have. I just joined yesterday, and probably wont get many replies. But it's nice to write how I feel and not having my posts deleted.

OMG I thought it Was Faust Seeing Your Profile?
it was like Seeing a ghost

 

[airboy_a380]

OMG I thought it Was Faust Seeing Your Profile?
it was like Seeing a ghost

Yeah I dunno who that person was, but apparently we have the same profile picture, I asked some members if they would like me to remove it, they said no. It's just a coincidence cause I do love dolphins.

 

[Greenberg]

I am sorry to hear about your indifferent parents. We are here for you and welcome your friendship. Honestly, I think every potential parent should past a test or something before becoming eligible to have children. It is almost criminal not to love one's children. Best regards!

 

[Tigeress Lost]

Does any of you feel like your parents don't care? I mean they know I'm depressed, I can be in my room for days, and they don't even knock on the door and ask if I'm ok. Nothing, it's like I don't exist. They say I'm not depressed that I'm just a bum, that hurts every time, and cause they are super religious think all I need is Jesus. 5 suicide attempts, 2 weeks hospitalised last year, I'm all bruised and stitched up cause I've tried to slit my arms. And still I'm all alone.
I hope that one day if I ctb they regret forever for not caring or showing any love to me when I most needed. You guys are all I have. I just joined yesterday, and probably wont get many replies. But it's nice to write how I feel and not having my posts deleted.

Sorry Friend Just In Shock I'm New Too & Listen I'm Here For You We All Are
Peace & Hugs xxx

Yeah I dunno who that person was, but apparently we have the same profile picture, I asked some members if they would like me to remove it, they said no. It's just a coincidence cause I do love dolphins.

Hi Friend
He Was A Gem Who Loved Dolphins Too & Sadly Not With Us Anymore But It's Feels Bittersweet seeing Your profile Sorry buddy for the sudden shock
Well My Tigress Has A Dolphin Friend Now
Peace & Hugs X xxx

 

[airboy_a380]

I am sorry to hear about your indifferent parents. We are here for you and welcome your friendship. Honestly, I think every potential parent should past a test or something before becoming eligible to have children. It is almost criminal not to love one's children. Best regards!

Thank u Yeah they have been shit parents.

Sorry Friend Just In Shock I'm New Too & Listen I'm Here For You We All Are
Peace & Hugs xxx

Hi Friend
He Was A Gem Who Loved Dolphins Too & Sadly Not With Us Anymore But It's Feels Bittersweet seeing Your profile Sorry buddy for the sudden shock
Well My Tigress Has A Dolphin Friend Now
Peace & Hugs X xxx

Yeah I endee up reading Faust's last moments. Hope he is in a better place. Hug to u too. Xxx

 

[Done at Fifty]

Sorry that you're having such problems with your parents. One time I told my mother I was suicidal and she told me to go jump off a bridge. To be fair she was getting tired of my constant suicide talk. From my own experience with depression, its best to only go to a therapist or someone who really understands. Friends and family aren't therapists and will all have different reactions. Some purposely hurtful some just ignorant.

I don't believe its always that they don't care but just have a different perspective. There are those who believe in depression, those who believe it has to do with a past life, those who believe its an excuse. Nothing I can do about what others think. There are also those completely accepting of suicide for any reason - whether due to depression, physical illness or just bored with life. They may accept it logically or make a spiritual excuse - like "he wasn't meant to be" or "it was God's plan that they die".

Recently my high school friends brother committed suicide after years of depression. They're a deeply religious family yet only a few cried at his funeral and my friend (his sister) said many invited didn't show up. His sister said she cried because she was happy he was finally relieved of his grief. He had great support, wealthy enough he didnt have to work, a wife and two teen children. Everyone encouraged him to not take his life and helped him as much as they could, but at the end of the day, they seemed to accept his suicide.
My friend things that this was either a conscious or subconscious mental preparation that people did after years of his suicide attempts. His eldest child even said that they expected to find their dad dead someday.

So unfortunately many of us are completely on our own with our depression. Over the years I've stopped telling people (this site however is a great place to candidly talk about my feelings). I no longer mind that people find depression laziness and don't care if I ctb. I'm excited at the idea of suicide and I want others to accept my choice.

 

[Tigeress Lost]

Thank u Yeah they have been shit parents.

Yeah I endee up reading Faust's last moments. Hope he is in a better place. Hug to u too. Xxx

I Read A lot Of His Threads & His Last Moments I Actually Had Tears In My Eyes But I Am Very Happy That He Is At Peace Now And He Said If I'm Reborn He Would Love To Be A Baby Dolphin Living In Happiness Eating Fishes
RIP Faust
Peace & A Big Hug To You x x x

 

[Tigeress Lost]

I Read A lot Of His Threads & His Last Moments I Actually Had Tears In My Eyes But I Am Very Happy That He Is At Peace Now And He Said If I'm Reborn He Would Love To Be A Baby Dolphin Living In Happiness Eating Fishes
RIP Faust
Peace & A Big Hug To You x x x

I Don't Understand My Mum Soon As I Mention ctb she loses it and saying ur mental and if I'm in tears than oh have you cut yourself Up again And if I want to be left alone than I'm have a wobble
I Don't get her not one bit
Peace and hugs xxx

My heart broke reading this, OP. I am happy that you are finding this forum to be beneficial throughout your troubles. It's soothing here.

To answer your question, well– I suppose I can't, haha. My father was never in the picture and my mother passed away during my teenage years. Don't have any immediate family left with the exception of my grandmother who was just diagnosed with advanced cancer. I don't know whether it's worse to have no family or a family who treats you as if you're less than. Equal, I'd imagine.

I hope your situation eases up sometime :(

Hi Friend

I know how you feel I got separated from both my parents at 8 than lived with family who abused me for 12 years and now well those scars just came with me wherever I traveled reason why I want to ctb because while I remain alive I will never get peace from my past it affects my present life and there is no hope for happiness in my future so I know the pain will only stop once I shut my eyes forever

that is why I love animals I find them more loving and caring than humans I love sleeping because that's the only time I'm not in constant pain with my thoughts my memories my abuse

asleep I'm at peace I always wished I could ctb or go into a coma
One mistake of Your parents can ruin your life forever I'm living proof of that

Hugs & Peace

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

If they can't see that you're depressed then they can't care. If they're like my parents, then they have filters, like wearing glasses that distort, so what they see is the distortion and not the reality. If they call you a bum, and they are judgmental of bums, then that's how they see and judge you.

My mother was also incapable of empathy, and my father, being her enabler, lost his empathy because she was always at war with me and she is the one he depends on, not me, so his views shifted to match hers because he gave her that power in order to stay with her and be taken care of by her. He had to either accept her version of reality or the actual one I experienced, he didn't have the backbone or ability to see for himself what was happening. When I broke my wrist and was crying, my mother said I was being melodramatic. When her dog who had a seizure disorder would whine, she would call her a ninny. She doesn't have the capacity for empathy. The beatings I experienced as a result of her rages? According to my dad, it wasn't that bad, because the bruises were conveniently hidden under my clothes. And yet when my mother is hurting, she demands sympathy and gets downright mean if it's denied her. So frustrating.

Your parents and my mother have a disability of perception, and it's projected onto us and we end up suffering for their lack. But in the end, they will be the ones who suffer because they have rejected the children who would have loved and cared for them when they themselves are infirm and vulnerable. My parents and I have no contact now and they forfeited that from me, the care they will need, and it's really sad. All of this is just really sad.

When I die, my parents will still be wearing their distorted lenses and they'll see my death however the lenses tell them to, even if I leave them a letter, which is why I won't waste the effort. It's too maddening to continue to try to get them to see or hear me, I tried for decades, I'm 49 now. It took a long time to figure this out, and there are still times that, in my head, I'm trying to get through to them. The madness is theirs, yet I am the one who is maddened by it.

 

[airboy_a380]

Sorry that you're having such problems with your parents. One time I told my mother I was suicidal and she told me to go jump off a bridge. To be fair she was getting tired of my constant suicide talk. From my own experience with depression, its best to only go to a therapist or someone who really understands. Friends and family aren't therapists and will all have different reactions. Some purposely hurtful some just ignorant.

I don't believe its always that they don't care but just have a different perspective. There are those who believe in depression, those who believe it has to do with a past life, those who believe its an excuse. Nothing I can do about what others think. There are also those completely accepting of suicide for any reason - whether due to depression, physical illness or just bored with life. They may accept it logically or make a spiritual excuse - like "he wasn't meant to be" or "it was God's plan that they die".

Recently my high school friends brother committed suicide after years of depression. They're a deeply religious family yet only a few cried at his funeral and my friend (his sister) said many invited didn't show up. His sister said she cried because she was happy he was finally relieved of his grief. He had great support, wealthy enough he didnt have to work, a wife and two teen children. Everyone encouraged him to not take his life and helped him as much as they could, but at the end of the day, they seemed to accept his suicide.
My friend things that this was either a conscious or subconscious mental preparation that people did after years of his suicide attempts. His eldest child even said that they expected to find their dad dead someday.

So unfortunately many of us are completely on our own with our depression. Over the years I've stopped telling people (this site however is a great place to candidly talk about my feelings). I no longer mind that people find depression laziness and don't care if I ctb. I'm excited at the idea of suicide and I want others to accept my choice.

Cheers buddy. That's so true what you said, my own dad also told me to jump from a cliff.

 

[airboy_a380]

I Don't Understand My Mum Soon As I Mention ctb she loses it and saying ur mental and if I'm in tears than oh have you cut yourself Up again And if I want to be left alone than I'm have a wobble
I Don't get her not one bit
Peace and hugs xxx

Hi Friend

I know how you feel I got separated from both my parents at 8 than lived with family who abused me for 12 years and now well those scars just came with me wherever I traveled reason why I want to ctb because while I remain alive I will never get peace from my past it affects my present life and there is no hope for happiness in my future so I know the pain will only stop once I shut my eyes forever

that is why I love animals I find them more loving and caring than humans I love sleeping because that's the only time I'm not in constant pain with my thoughts my memories my abuse

asleep I'm at peace I always wished I could ctb or go into a coma
One mistake of Your parents can ruin your life forever I'm living proof of that

Hugs & Peace

Thank you for sharing. Yes at night that's when I feel more relaxed too. Every time I close my eyes to sleep I wish I would never wake up. But I always do... hugs.