Parents act different on public vs at home

[Efilismislife]

Was just wondering

Were other people parents act differently on public/when theres an outsiders vs at home when no outsiders?

(Such as acting like an angel on public but satan inside the house when no outsiders)


So people will see it differently from what it truly is

 

[Smart No More]

Absolutely. I experienced this like crazy. So frustrating and infuriating. I think I learned a lot from witnessing it (like an example of what not to do) but it really makes me mad because it shows that image was more important to them than their children. Just plain selfish and self involved. It's a real bone of contention I have and resulted in me hating people who aren't honest with themselves. I hold people to account all the time. Myself included.

 

[Efilismislife]

It kind of traumatized me too

besides they said every family and everybody also like that

But im questioning that a lot tho cant really ask other people truthfully

and since im also a loner

Absolutely. I experienced this like crazy. So frustrating and infuriating. I think I learned a lot from witnessing but it really makes me mad because it shows that image is more important to them than their children. It's a real bone of contention I have and resulted in me hating people who aren't honest with themselves. I hokd people to account all the time. Myself included.

 

[Life_and_Death]

they certainly didnt hit me in public

 

[Efilismislife]

Absolutely. I experienced this like crazy. So frustrating and infuriating. I think I learned a lot from witnessing but it really makes me mad because it shows that image is more important to them than their children. It's a real bone of contention I have and resulted in me hating people who aren't honest with themselves. I hokd people to account all the time. Myself included.

Do they act like 180 degree differently or 50% ? Or only like a little different or occasionally only or most of the time

they certainly didnt hit me in public

 

[Smart No More]

Do they act like 180 degree differently or 50% ? Or only like a little different or occasionally only or most of the time

Hard to say really. 70% maybe. Just very bothered about appearance and specific things. Also, like @Life_and_Death they didn't get violent in public. Would be undercover about threats of "when we get home". Lots of religious shit too.

 

[Efilismislife]

yeah

in my place people indoctrinated by
"Youll go to hell if you dont obey your parents"

"Your parents is God image in the world"

"You have to listen and obey them"

"Breeding is a graceful and holy act"

etc etc

i mean its messed up when the parents abuse the child

Hard to say really. 70% maybe. Just very bothered about appearance and specific things. Also, like @Life_and_Death they didn't get violent in public. Would be undercover about threats of "when we get home". Lots of religious shit too.

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

If they want to criticize you, they can, but you can't respond in kind.

 

[hamvil]

To be honest, when I was a child they treated me poorly both in public and in private. Well far worse in private, but still... i commend them for the consistency

 

[Pluto]

(Such as acting like an angel on public but satan inside the house when no outsiders)

This is a very strong indicator of narcissistic parenting.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

If I ask one of my parents to respect my privacy or boundaries they will respond as if I am being unreasonable, and sometimes turn mildly angry. If somebody else (unrelated) tells them to do the same they will usually agree. If I ask them why they have changed their attitude they might respond by saying: "Well now I know" - as if I did not ask them in the first place.

This parent will routinely speak negatively of a person when they are not there - sometimes warranted and sometimes not - and then act friendly when they are present; I am expected to play along with this act. If I wish to disallow a person from my personal life I am only permitted to do so if said parent approves. If there is no approval then I am expected to let them befriend me, and play "happy families" in front of them and this parent. Note: I only try to disallow those who have intentionally harmed me in some way.

Are these 2 examples relevant?

 

[Efilismislife]

This is a very strong indicator of narcissistic parenting.

Just found out about the term recently

If I ask one of my parents to respect my privacy or boundaries they will respond as if I am being unreasonable, and sometimes turn mildly angry. If somebody else (unrelated) tells them to do the same they will usually agree. If I ask them why they have changed their attitude they might respond by saying: "Well now I know" - as if I did not ask them in the first place.

This parent will routinely speak negatively of a person when they are not there - sometimes warranted and sometimes not - and then act friendly when they are present; I am expected to play along with this act. If I wish to disallow a person from my personal life I am only permitted to do so if said parent approves. If there is no approval then I am expected to let them befriend me, and play "happy families" in front of them and this parent. Note: I only try to disallow those who have intentionally harmed me in some way.

Are these 2 examples relevant?

Yeah relatable

especially the first one