Discussion Paranoid that everyone knows you attempted to CTB or self-harm?

[sourcreamonion]

Afterwards I always find myself paranoid when I'm with people, like they knew that I tried to OD a few days prior and it always makes me nervous to go back into society. I don't want to look "off", I don't want anyone to know. I wonder if anyone else feels like this? Sometimes I try to overcompensate when I'm paranoid, going above and beyond to prove to myself and others that I've "never felt better".

 

[Deleted member 19276]

I guess my situation was a bit different, not many people would have known what I am doing outside some family members, but the truth is that I probably would not try to hide much. Too tired to do so and living in fear honestly screws me up even further. Society has always been bad with understanding those that are different like us, yes, but that doesn't mean you should give them the satisfaction of feeling fear from them. But hey, overall I am so sorry you are feeling this way and that you have to hide or pretend / act in ways that they don't act suspicious. The word overcompensate, that stood out to me the most, I suppose I can understand what you mean with the post, the whole I must do my best for them to view me as being better or okay. But again, if it comes to my views, I would not really try to give them any clues, just go with whatever and if they don't like it, it would be on them.

 

[I’mDone]

I understand what you're saying and where it stems from but honestly I don't think people can tell that you attempted, unless you have visible scars, etc. I know it's easier said than done, but try not to be paranoid about it because that will just increase your stress and make you more unhappy.

 

[sourcreamonion]

I understand what you're saying and where it stems from but honestly I don't think people can tell that you attempted, unless you have visible scars, etc. I know it's easier said than done, but try not to be paranoid about it because that will just increase your stress and make you more unhappy.

Yeah, I try not to think too much about it, it's not as bad as it used to be when I started university. Sometimes the scars are visible so I have to constantly worry to make sure it isn't like out in the open. I'm slowly getting better on how to handle this paranoia.

 

[Claudia]

I always thought when I knew that I was safe from self harm, I'd cover the scars in a beautiful meaningful tattoo but I can't see that ever happening now. I despise the person I am and showing myself hate through damage is the only way I feel real peace. If anyone notices my scars and has an issue then fuck them, I have bigger things to worry about.

 

[TakeYourHappyPills]

Yes all the time. I always wear long sleeves to hide my SH scars and I get super paranoid whenever I think the sleeve might've accidentally rolled up. Talking about scars and previous attempts are extremely awkward so I usually try to avoid those conversations.

 

[AnxietyAttack44]

They knew, they didnt care.