Venting Paranoia?

[PlasticFace]

I've said in a previous post that a "friend" has decided that she is my caretaker and is monitoring everything I do. I've convinced her that I'll get better, thinking she would leave me alone. She is not trying to take me to therapy and get me back on medications. I'm trying to keep everything as chilled out as possible and told her I'd rather work through everything on my own. I don't want to "get better" at all, which is MY PREROGATIVE! I know that I'm a paranoid person but I think that she is fucking with me. I think she's putting something in my food and that's why she's watching me eat/drink. I suddenly can't find my cart and when I do, the battery isn't charged anymore even though I had it completely charged. I didn't say anything about it because I don't want her to feel my tenseness but now I can't even get high anymore because I'm scared that she fucked with that too. I feel sicker than I've been and she keeps praising me for how well I'm doing. She either knows that I'm lying and is trying to get under my skin or is actually stupid enough to think I'd break down so easily. I have been this way my entire life. She will not change me and this is only a small blip in my life. She will not stop me from completing my bucket list and she certainly won't take away my right to bodily autonomy. I will make her leave, no matter how long it takes or how much I have to deceive.

 

[WorthlessCoward]

What's the name of your caretaker? Misery?

 

[SoftWorries]

You are certainly very paranoid. Why are you allowing your friend to be at your place watching you eat tho? Make them leave if they're making you paranoid.

 

[dimstar]

Theres times I really wish I had a friend that would go to that lengths. But from an outside perspective it sounds like paranoia to me. What would they be putting in your food without you knowing? How would they drain your battery? I think they're just worried and overly protective. I'm sure it very real to you but try and think logically about how that would make sense. If it gets worse could be a sign of a psychotic episode, if you have a history of that take it into consideration. If you really dont want them around tell them directly. Psychosis isn't anything to mess around with either tho so if it's someone that could help might be best to just tell them your suspicions and see how they react.. or a doctor. Just want you to be okay.

 

[PreCambrianBliss]

I will make her leave, no matter how long it takes or how much I have to deceive.

From what you've said, it sounds like she's really invading your privacy and you are right to be upset about it. HOWEVER it also sounds like you are experiencing strong paranoia and may not be thinking clearly about the situation and how to handle it. You should always have the option to ask or make someone leave if you are not comfortable with them. There is no reason why you need to "deceive" them or anything like that.

I've had similar experiences with my sibling where it feels like they're trying to get into my head and I have prove that I'm onto their tricks. In reality, I was just in a distressed mindset and was interpreting their actions and words as malicious. The solution was to simply come out with it and tell them I would prefer to be left alone. After a bit of time I was able to get back on good terms with them and now we talk every day.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I think she's putting something in my food and that's why she's watching me eat/drink. ...........................I can't even get high anymore because I'm scared that she fucked with that too.

That really is paranoid.

 

[dimstar]

Have you ever had antipsychotics perscribed or recently been doing other substances besides weed and alchohol? Also alot of psychosis episodes dont start until 20s or later. Extreme paranoia is a bad sign and one of the few times I'd recommend medical help. It can be stabilized youd feel alot less worried. Why not test them? Switch plates, charge you battery over night and see if its green next night. Or again just ask them.

 

[Aisley]

Do you feel a little more numb or euphoric than normal? If not, it might just be that she wants to see you eating well. I'M NOT EXCUSING HER AUTHORITARIAN SHIT. I swear. I'm just putting my head in the mindset of a smug I-know-better-than-you type. I'm very relieved to see you're handling this well, and keeping your shit together. You got this.
I don't know what scooter batteries go for, but maybe have her pick up a back up, since this one is "disfunctional" you know? Then you can get to the bottom of that one.
If pot is what you mean by high, a sniff would tell you all you need to know, right? What can you do to pot? Certainly nothing to neutralize it.
God, doesn't she have a life? A job? Bills to pay? How can she do this?
Take care.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds like a really horrible situation to be trapped in, I hope you are eventually able to escape from it, other people really should have no right to try and force people to suffer, to do such a thing is extreme cruelty.