Help Overcoming fear of trigger pull

[PleaseLetMeMakeAnAc]

Well, fuck man. Everything I can think of got shot down by one reason or another. I had gotten a charcoal burner built, but realized I have no way to guarantee it's success & worst case scenario I could end up dying in a car fire while tripping balls. Sounds like hell, I'm put off now

I'm temped to just shoot myself. Getting up the motivation to pull the trigger is insanely difficult for me. I tried to do it a few days ago, I got up to it, yanked, and my line I was using got stuck & I just couldn't do it after.

It's a .22 rifle & I had it rigged up with a line (coudln't reach trigger) & pointed directly at heart as I don't want to scramble my brains.

I don't know how to get up the motivation to do this. The last attempt I was very high on DXM, which usually makes me feel nothing but this time it made me go into psychosis after failing & I was basically in hell for a few days. Think I'll just have to do it sober

This is painful to think about. Normally thinking about dying would make me calm, but now it does nothing but exacerbate the constant anxiety of existence. What do? I've only got a few days till im homeless; I need to get out of here

 

[locked*n*loaded]

First, a .22 rifle, in and of itself, is rather risky. The way you're describing you could easily miss the heart by hitting bone and a .22 isn't a very powerful gun. I don't understand why you couldn't reach the trigger and needed to rig up a rope on the trigger. Were you sitting down on the edge of a chair or couch with the butt of the gun on the floor? You should be able to reach the trigger from that position.

Second, I understand your concerns about placing the barrel in your mouth and doing it that way, but if you're looking for efficacy, that's really the best and only way to have the highest assurance of success.

I wouldn't attempt ctb with a .22 rifle in any form, whether it's into the heart, through the mouth, or even to the side of the head. It's just not a firearm with a great certainty of success.

I'm going with charcoal myself and I have absolutely ZERO concerns about succeeding with it.

Hope you sort out all of your concerns with any method you choose and you find your peace. Even if you don't end up ctb, I still hope you can find your peace living, too.

 

[PleaseLetMeMakeAnAc]

First, a .22 rifle, in and of itself, is rather risky. The way you're describing you could easily miss the heart by hitting bone and a .22 isn't a very powerful gun. I don't understand why you couldn't reach the trigger and needed to rig up a rope on the trigger. Were you sitting down on the edge of a chair or couch with the butt of the gun on the floor? You should be able to reach the trigger from that position.

Second, I understand your concerns about placing the barrel in your mouth and doing it that way, but if you're looking for efficacy, that's really the best and only way to have the highest assurance of success.

I wouldn't attempt ctb with a .22 rifle in any form, whether it's into the heart, through the mouth, or even to the side of the head. It's just not a firearm with a great certainty of success.

I'm going with charcoal myself and I have absolutely ZERO concerns about succeeding with it.

Hope you sort out all of your concerns with any method you choose and you find your peace. Even if you don't end up ctb, I still hope you can find your peace living, too.

Short arms. Can barely tap it with my index finger. I was laying down with the barrel pressed directly center over my heart.

I just really, really can't stand the idea of damaging my brain. I have some severe paranoia about it. I keep thinking that the bullet going through my brain could effect my consciousness in some way and cause some kind of internal hell... I don't know quite how to express what my fear is that's the best way I can think to put it. I know it's irrational.

Concerns about .22 rifle lethality are unfounded. There's plenty of ballistics data on this. You are not surviving a point blank shot directly over the heart from a .22 rifle. I'm not worried at all about missing; It's easy to locate from feeling from the sternum & the 4th rib.

I'd feel more worried about missing a headshot actually. Angling it right seems like it could be tricky; I've seen a few horror stories about surviving .22 pistol headshots. I'd be more confident with a rifle, but still worried I'd angle wrong & maim myself. Aiming for the heart straight from the chest is much harder to fuck up I'd think. Plus even if somehow you only grazed the heart, you are for sure bleeding out

I was really certain about the charcoal, but people's replies to it planted doubt in me. I might just go for it using as many coals as I can fit, I don't know. This anxiety is killing me now. I just wish I'd die in my sleep somehow. Pulling the trigger seems impossible & even the charcoal is starting to scare me

 

[LostSoul1965]

OP you can think or justify what you want but the bottom line is a .22 caliber gun is nowhere near lethal enough to get the job done. These are squirrel guns because that's about all they will kill. I grew up learning to shoot with a .22 because they are a beginners gun and are so weak. It's your CTB tho so good luck with whatever you decide to do.

 

[PleaseLetMeMakeAnAc]

OP you can think or justify what you want but the bottom line is a .22 caliber gun is nowhere near lethal enough to get the job done. These are squirrel guns because that's about all they will kill. I grew up learning to shoot with a .22 because they are a beginners gun and are so weak. It's your CTB tho so good luck with whatever you decide to do.

I grew up with guns too. Enough to know a 22 can kill you easily... this is basic gun knowledge. There is plenty of hard data to back this up.

https://bjs.ojp.gov/content/pub/pdf/GUIC.PDF

Straight from the Bureau of Justice Statistics of the US Government. This is data from the 80's & 90's but that doesn't change lethality. You can see that consistently homicides with .22 caliber weapons are in the same ballpark as other stronger calibers, but with declining percentages over the years. If they supposedly aren't very lethal, how on Earth was that possible?

Keep in mind that is homicide i.e. someone being involuntarily killed by someone else while they were probably actively trying to not be. I'm talking about a suicide which would purposefully be under ideal conditions. Point blank range, aimed directly & firmly at vitals, etc.

Not to mention, those are .22 pistols; A good bit weaker than a rifle would be.

Plenty of other reputable sources on this. This is just the first one I clicked. You are not talking any sense dude

 

[LaughingGoat]

OP you can think or justify what you want but the bottom line is a .22 caliber gun is nowhere near lethal enough to get the job done. These are squirrel guns because that's about all they will kill. I grew up learning to shoot with a .22 because they are a beginners gun and are so weak. It's your CTB tho so good luck with whatever you decide to do.

I grew up with guns too. Enough to know a 22 can kill you easily... this is basic gun knowledge. There is plenty of hard data to back this up.

https://bjs.ojp.gov/content/pub/pdf/GUIC.PDF

Straight from the Bureau of Justice Statistics of the US Government. This is data from the 80's & 90's but that doesn't change lethality. You can see that consistently homicides with .22 caliber weapons are in the same ballpark as other stronger calibers, but with declining percentages over the years. If they supposedly aren't very lethal, how on Earth was that possible?

Keep in mind that is homicide i.e. someone being involuntarily killed by someone else while they were probably actively trying to not be. I'm talking about a suicide which would purposefully be under ideal conditions. Point blank range, aimed directly & firmly at vitals, etc.

Not to mention, those are .22 pistols; A good bit weaker than a rifle would be.

Plenty of other reputable sources on this. This is just the first one I clicked. You are not talking any sense dude

Yeah OP is right here, 22 kills all the time. I personally would go higher caliber because the weaker calibers leave little room for error and a possibility of a "miracle" happening (e.g. bullet bouncing off bone, not destroying brain stem or major part of brain immediately, etc.) so we here usually warn people from .22 but if you know exactly what you're doing and are ok with the miracle risk, that's fair enough.

Regarding the original question of getting over SI, many here would say that means a part of your conscious hasn't accepted the decision. Think there's usually a lot of truth to that.

 

[randomeyes11]

I held a .32 caliber pistol in my hand just the other day with the intention of ordering it from the store. For some reason, even though the talk went well, and the guy was eager to sell it, I got the creeps after I left. Mind you, I have no gun experience. Then I started reading of all the terrible miracle survival stories and that virtually squashed my desire to buy the thing.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Short arms. Can barely tap it with my index finger. I was laying down with the barrel pressed directly center over my heart.

I just really, really can't stand the idea of damaging my brain. I have some severe paranoia about it. I keep thinking that the bullet going through my brain could effect my consciousness in some way and cause some kind of internal hell... I don't know quite how to express what my fear is that's the best way I can think to put it. I know it's irrational.

Concerns about .22 rifle lethality are unfounded. There's plenty of ballistics data on this. You are not surviving a point blank shot directly over the heart from a .22 rifle. I'm not worried at all about missing; It's easy to locate from feeling from the sternum & the 4th rib.

I'd feel more worried about missing a headshot actually. Angling it right seems like it could be tricky; I've seen a few horror stories about surviving .22 pistol headshots. I'd be more confident with a rifle, but still worried I'd angle wrong & maim myself. Aiming for the heart straight from the chest is much harder to fuck up I'd think. Plus even if somehow you only grazed the heart, you are for sure bleeding out

I was really certain about the charcoal, but people's replies to it planted doubt in me. I might just go for it using as many coals as I can fit, I don't know. This anxiety is killing me now. I just wish I'd die in my sleep somehow. Pulling the trigger seems impossible & even the charcoal is starting to scare me

Lots of people survive getting shot with a .22, handgun or rifle. I would never chance it. But, it's not about me, it's about what you feel comfortable doing. I'd never do an outside the head shot no matter what size gun. Your paranoia, how you describe it, irrational or not, are your concerns and are entirely valid since it concerns how you feel. Nothing wrong with that.

 

[FuneralCry]

That must be really dreadful and tiring what you go through but anyway best wishes, I hope that you eventually find what you search for, I really wish that suicide is straightforward.