Over a 3D printer...

[Life_and_Death]

i havent talked to my bf in 3 days. this is abnormal for me.. i never go more than a few hours...
i feel semi bad for dropping off the map....but hes done it to me several times so i can only feel so bad about it..

the whole thing sounds stupid...
"you stopped talking to him because he bought a 3d printer.?"

but..yeah....
i mean probably not entirely.. i was already feelin ehhhh.... and like i needed to pay more attention to myself...but yeah...

3d printers arent something just anyone gets. idc how "cheap" it is. its a symbol of money...
i reject money. its "not my thing".
ive spent my whole life living from paycheck to paycheck.. ive always been the poorest person in the group....
if i suddenly won the lotto or something id have no idea what to do with it, so id end up not doing anything with it.

i dont even know how to describe this feeling.... i just cant.....

 

[LoiteringClouds]

the whole thing sounds stupid...
"you stopped talking to him because he bought a 3d printer.?"

3d printers arent something just anyone gets. idc how "cheap" it is. its a symbol of money...
i reject money. its "not my thing".

I think it's not stupid - it's the very valid reason to stop communicating.

My boss love to show off his luxury car, which his employees can never ever afford.
Yes he's special. That's a symbol of his success and he deserves it. But I don't want to talk to him - I have absolutely no interest in such a person.

ive spent my whole life living from paycheck to paycheck.. ive always been the poorest person in the group....

People are incredibly insensitive to feelings of poor people. I'm so sorry to hear that.

Your feeling is valid.

 

[Life_and_Death]

I think it's not stupid - it's the very valid reason to stop communicating.

My boss love to show off his luxury car, which his employees can never ever afford.
Yes he's special. That's a symbol of his success and he deserves it. But I don't want to talk to him - I have absolutely no interest in such a person.


People are incredibly insensitive to feelings of poor people. I'm so sorry to hear that.

Your feeling is valid.

thank you @LoiteringClouds i really appreciate it

thankfully hes not the kind to show it off, he didnt even tell me he bought it because he knew i wouldnt like it.
but i still just feel like i cant..

i could have millions of $$$
"oh oh oh lets get (insert basically anything)"
why....why do we need that?

 

[Life_and_Death]

i feel like i should just fake things and maybe things will get fixed in time or ill "learn to love him" again...

idfk.. im too broken for this..

 

[mortuarymary]

i feel like i should just fake things and maybe things will get fixed in time or ill "learn to love him" again...

idfk.. im too broken for this..

If you have to learn to love him again then he's not for you.

 

[breezeboy]

:( I love 3d printers.. I knew a girl who had one in her room and every time I went over I'd end up having her make me something lol.
I remember looking at prices of ones for thousands and was stunned but they actually have like 150-250 dollar options that are still worth it and pretty affordable.

Is he a creative artistic person? Could just be a passion or interest and not a status of money.
You mentioned he didn't even tell you about it and he's not the kind to show off.
Seems innocent but if things have been building up for awhile then small things that might not even be a problem will be enough to make you push away or become indifferent.

Has he reached out to you during the 3 days?

 

[Life_and_Death]

Has he reached out to you during the 3 days?

8 messages. i finally messaged him last night but all i said was 'im fine' cuz he kept saying hes worried (im not 100% sure about what.)

Is he a creative artistic person?

lol no. that would be me in the relationship (when my brain works). im not 100% sure why he wants it, hes a gamer.

I remember looking at prices of ones for thousands and was stunned but they actually have like 150-250 dollar options that are still worth it and pretty affordable

yeah, i looked it up and saw that.. but doesnt really change my mind.. its still not really a product youd find in a struggling household. and he wants an expensive one. its kind of like @LoiteringClouds said about it being 'insensitive'. "oh its just a cheap one" yeah...thats real easy for someone with money to say. but for me its 'wtf no'

Seems innocent but if things have been building up for awhile then small things that might not even be a problem will be enough to make you push away or become indifferent

this sadly.. although im not sure how i would have taken it without already feeling weighted down by everything. it feels like one of those things i just have this internal rejection to.

If you have to learn to love him again then he's not for you.

youre right, but sadly its not that straight forward. its possible its just buried under my stress. im not sure..

 

[breezeboy]

8 messages. i finally messaged him last night but all i said was 'im fine' cuz he kept saying hes worried (im not 100% sure about what.)

I'd be worried too if my girl didn't respond for more than 3 days especially since you say normally you don't go more then a few hours without talking. Feel like on that 2nd/3rd day I'd be calling and trying to reach anyone who might know where you are.

yeah, i looked it up and saw that.. but doesnt really change my mind.. its still not really a product youd find in a struggling household. and he wants an expensive one. its kind of like @LoiteringClouds said about it being 'insensitive'. "oh its just a cheap one" yeah...thats real easy for someone with money to say. but for me its 'wtf no'

I mean I guess but I disagree. I'm broke paycheck to paycheck too but I think people should be comfortable to spend the money they earned on whatever makes them happy.
If someone buys a nice car because it makes them happy and that bothers me it's my problem.
That person did nothing to me and them spending their money on what they want shouldn't be my concern.

this sadly.. although im not sure how i would have taken it without already feeling weighted down by everything. it feels like one of those things i just have this internal rejection to.

That's understandable we all have personal biases against things.

i feel like i should just fake things and maybe things will get fixed in time or ill "learn to love him" again...

idfk.. im too broken for this..

You can't fake true love and if it was true love there would be no reason to fake it.
It's not fair to your bf to pretend to be in love with him either.

You are strong. You got this

 

[Life_and_Death]

You can't fake true love and if it was true love there would be no reason to fake it.
It's not fair to your bf to pretend to be in love with him either.

well, im sure he'll probably figure it out now..
i tried to talk to him but i didnt actually tell him anything and he left it off with "i love you". that was an hour ago..

idfk.. im too broken for this..

my problem is idk if i dont love him. if i didnt then it would be easy, i dont. i feel like i still love him but i dont. i still want to do the right things for him

I mean I guess but I disagree. I'm broke paycheck to paycheck too but I think people should be comfortable to spend the money they earned on whatever makes them happy.
If someone buys a nice car because it makes them happy and that bothers me it's my problem.

That's understandable we all have personal biases against things.

i never said it wasnt my problem. i even told him "its a me thing" (but didnt go into what that me thing was...). but unless you save up for it, making unnecessary purchases is typically how someone ends up in debt. kinda going back to the insensitive comment, theyre 2 completely different mindsets. "oh im just gonna.." vs having to work harder to make the extra/save it, having to choose which items you really want vs the ones you can live without.

You are strong. You got this

thank you btw
i wish it just wasnt a problem for me..

 

[breezeboy]

well, im sure he'll probably figure it out now..
i tried to talk to him but i didnt actually tell him anything and he left it off with "i love you". that was an hour ago..

Hmm. Was he trying to get you to actually open up or just kind of accepted your answers?
You didn't respond back after the "i love you"?

my problem is idk if i dont love him. if i didnt then it would be easy, i dont. i feel like i still love him but i dont. i still want to do the right things for him

I guess with my 2 brief experiences with love it taught me there is a difference between love and caring for someone. You can want all the best for someone and care about their wellbeing without being in love with them. For years I thought I knew what love was from a prior relationship and then when I actually fell in love I couldn't believe I didn't realize the difference.

i never said it wasnt my problem. i even told him "its a me thing" (but didnt go into what that me thing was...). but unless you save up for it, making unnecessary purchases is typically how someone ends up in debt. kinda going back to the insensitive comment, theyre 2 completely different mindsets. "oh im just gonna.." vs having to work harder to make the extra/save it, having to choose which items you really want vs the ones you can live without.

I just don't think it's insensitive for someone with more money than me to buy what they want.
They didn't do anything to me you know? They're just another person trying to get through life with the circumstances given to them. Can't blame them for getting things they want when it's possible for them.

thank you btw
i wish it just wasnt a problem for me..

Of course and I hear you..

 

[Life_and_Death]

You didn't respond back after the "i love you"?

no....i didnt respond with 'i love you too'..

Hmm. Was he trying to get you to actually open up or just kind of accepted your answers?

accepted them. i wish he asked what my problem is. he just gave me hugs and said "i wish i could do something" (me sitting here thinking, getting rid of it would help. but also realizing its unreasonable so "its just a me problem. its fine")

I just don't think it's insensitive for someone with more money than me to buy what they want.
They didn't do anything to me you know? They're just another person trying to get through life with the circumstances given to them. Can't blame them for getting things they want when it's possible for them.

im gonna drop this part. i agree with you and i cant explain exactly how im feeling anyway lol

You can want all the best for someone and care about their wellbeing without being in love with them.

agreed. maybe i should have specified. the things i want to do for him is like stop smoking weed and cheating. not things to do with him, but things that shouldnt exactly matter if i dont care

 

[breezeboy]

no....i didnt respond with 'i love you too'..

accepted them. i wish he asked what my problem is. he just gave me hugs and said "i wish i could do something" (me sitting here thinking, getting rid of it would help. but also realizing its unreasonable so "its just a me problem. its fine")

im gonna drop this part. i agree with you and i cant explain exactly how im feeling anyway lol

agreed. maybe i should have specified. the things i want to do for him is like stop smoking weed and cheating. not things to do with him, but things that shouldnt exactly matter if i dont care

I sent pm